


Nothing to See Here

by thesherlockianwhjustcant



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Age Difference, Awesome Benny, Benny Lafitte & Dean Winchester Friendship, Bisexual Dean, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, HS AU, Impala Sex, M/M, NSFW, Porn With Plot, Self-Harm, Smut, Supportive Castiel, Supportive Dean, Teacher!Dean, alternative universe, destiel smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-10 22:50:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 69,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4410887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesherlockianwhjustcant/pseuds/thesherlockianwhjustcant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas have a special relationship. No one knows about it. It starts out so innocent. Just fucking. No emotions, not really anyway. But, what happens when they start to depend on each other for more than just a good fuck? </p>
<p>-I don't really have a specific plan for this fic, so just bear with me! Thanks for reading!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: first chapter is SMUT, so be warned! Also, this is kinda my first time writing smut EVER, so just give me some slack. I know it's awkward. Thanks for checking this out, though! It's much appreciated!!!

"Cas," Dean whimpered against the younger man's lips.

"Yes, Dean?"

"Stop teasing..." Cas silences him by gently nibbling Dean's neck, working his way lower. "You- ah! Fuck, Cas..." Cas circles Dean's nipple with his tongue before biting down just enough to elicit a flash of pain, soothing it with gentle flicks of his tongue.

He stands back up so that he's eye level with Dean again. "What was it you were saying, Dean?" He emphasizes his question by rolling his hips against Dean's, their clothed erections rubbing together, making Dean gasp. When he doesn't answer, Cas does it again and repeats his question. "What were you saying?"

Panting, Dean replies. "You... You promised..."

"I promised what, Dean?" Dean grunts when Cas rolls his hips again, and he throws his head back against the door.

"You promised you wouldn't tease..." Cas smiles, teasingly, and rolls his hips again. "Come, on, Cas..."

"What's the magic word, Dean?"

Dean sighs. "C'mon, man..." He moans when Cas rolls his hips particularly hard this time. "Fine... Please, Cas, please, just fuck me already."

Cas suppresses a groan, listening to him talk like that. "Now, that's a good boy." Cas pulls Dean away from the door and leads him to Dean's bedroom. "Take off your clothes, Dean."

Dean quickly complies, and Cas removes the rest of his clothes too. Dean's mouth waters at the sight of Cas, hard and ready for him. His cock is leaking precome, and it takes all of his restraint not to stop that leak. "On the bed," Cas orders. While Dean gets situated, Cas gets lube and a condom from the bedside table. "How do you want me, baby? Facing me, riding me, or the good old fashioned, fuck from behind?"

"Whatever you want, sweetie, it's up to you tonight."

Cas thinks about it. "Let me prep you, then I want you to ride me as fast as you can."

"Yes, sir."

Cas lubes up his fingers generously before pressing his index finger against Dean's rim. Dean gasps. Cas adjusts his finger until Dean screams, "Yes, there, right there, baby!" Cas's cock jumps at his lover's enthusiasm, and he starts to move his singular finger fast and hard, hitting that sweet spot every time. Once he figures Dean has adjusted, he slips in another finger, then another, working Dean open.

Dean's close, very, very close, but he holds off. His erection is almost painful. He needs to come, but he doesn't want to, not yet. "Cas- fuck- Cas, I'm ready. I'm ready. Fuck me."

Cas pulls out his fingers and grabs the condom. He rips it open with his teeth and hands it to Dean. "You know I'm not good with these."

Dean takes it and grabs Cas's cock. He fists it a couple of times, Cas gasping as he does. "Jesus, Dean, thought you said no teasing." Dean laughs and puts the condom on Cas. He let's Cas lube himself up, and then Dean straddles Cas. He positions Cas's cock at his entrance and sinks down slowly. "Ah, fuck, Dean." Cas moans once Dean is fully seated on his erection.

Then, Dean starts to move. Slowly at first, adjusting for the right angle... "Shit, Cas," and there it is. Dean picks his hips up and slams them back down, hard, hitting his prostate. Cas grunts and thrusts up into Dean. He's not going to last long. Dean moves faster, grunting and moaning Cas's name. He can tell Cas is close. He squeezes him and moves faster, harder, until Cas yells out, "Fuck, ah, Dean!" Dean lets the shivers work through the young man's body, pressing kisses along his throat and collarbone until he's finished.

Cas realizes Dean still hasn't come and says, "Off, let me deal with you." Dean complies quickly and lays back on the bed. Cas follows him, and before he knows it, Dean's cock is surrounded by the liquid heat if Cas's mouth. "Oh, shit... Yeah, just like that, baby, yes!" He thrusts into Cas's mouth and threads his fingers through his hair. Cas licks a stripe up from the base to the tip before sucking the head into his mouth and sucking. Dean moans and thrusts up. Cas cups the other man's balls and strokes Dean's shaft with his other hand. "Shit, Cas... I'm gonna- ah, god, fuck!" Dean explodes in his mouth, and Cas graciously swallows all of it.

Once Dean comes down from his high, he pulls Cas to him, and they cuddle for a little bit before Cas says, "Thanks. I needed that."

"You and me both, sugar."

Cas smiles before drifting off to sleep in Dean's arms. And about twenty minutes later, Dean follows suit and falls asleep.


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try my hardest to post 1-2 chapters a week. I'm about to start university, so if I become inconsistent, that's why, but I will TRY, I promise! Thanks, lovelies!!

Dean stirs about thirty minutes before midnight and finds the space next to him empty. He hears the toilet flush, so he sits up and waits for Cas to come back in. When he does, he notices that Cas is fully dressed. "Leaving so soon?"

Cas shrugs. "Sorry... I just... Well, you know. I gotta get home. I'll see you in the morning anyway."

"I know. Just wish you could spend the night."

"Me too. One of these days..." Cas walks over and kisses Dean lightly on the lips before saying, "For now, this is all we get. See ya tomorrow."

"See ya, babe." Dean watches him leave his room and listens for the apartment door to close before falling back to sleep.

 *****

_Beep, beep, beep, beEP, bEEP, BEEP, BEEP_. Dean groans and reaches over to turn off his alarm clock. Damn, he hates Mondays. He yawns and stretches and lays in bed for a few minutes thinking about last night. Where did Cas learn to talk like that? This _thing_ they have going...last night was only their third time together. It's always quick and sloppy, nothing too...romantic. But, Dean likes Cas, he really does. He's just not sure it would be able to work in the long run. Ah, who was he kidding? It wouldn't even work in the short run.

Shaking his head, he gets out of bed and takes a quick shower. He's getting dressed when someone starts banging on the door. Dean walks to the door as he's tying his tie and opens it.

"Mornin' sunshine!" Benny pushes past Dean without pause and waits for Dean to close the door. "Brought coffee."

Dean nods and grunts appreciatively. "Just give me a sec, gotta grab my laptop and my papers. Tell me, why did I assign a ten page paper, again? It sounded like such a good idea." Benny just laughs and waits patiently for Dean as he gathers his belongings. Once he's ready, they leave the apartment and head to work. Benny's turn to drive today and normally, Dean prefers to drive, but not today. He  didn't sleep too well after Cas left. He yawns a big yawn and gulps down some of his coffee. Benny laughs. "Don't tell me you're tired. You told us you couldn't watch the game because wanted to have an early night. Don't tell me you blew us off for nothing."

Dean shrugs. "I just didn't sleep well. Graded some papers until about ten, couldn't get to sleep till around eleven."

"Right," Benny says skeptically, but he doesn't push the subject.

For the rest of the ride, Benny blabbers on about useless information, so Dean just zones in and out of the conversation until they finally reach school.

"See ya, later, Dean."

"See ya, Benny." They say goodbye as they head their separate ways. Dean teaches English, which is on the opposite side of the building where Benny teaches PE.  Thankfully, Dean has the shorter walk.

He unlocks the door to his classroom and sets up for the day. Notes for the first half of class, split up for reading groups, go around and grade groups’ progress, repeat. Dean likes teaching because he only has to plan a few things per day. Grading and dealing with parents are really the only things he doesn’t like about his job.

A knock on his door brings him out of his trance. “Hey, Mr. Winchester, I was wondering if you had graded my paper yet?” Dean sneaked a peek at his watch, thinking this kid was abnormally early for school, but he was actually later than normal.

“Good morning, Kevin. I haven’t really gotten around to grading any of the papers yet, actually. I’m sorry. As soon as I grade yours, you’ll know, though, okay?”

“Okay, but I’m just worried--”

Dean cuts him off. “Kevin, there’s no need to be worried. You have a 99 in this class, isn’t that good enough?”

Kevin laughs. “Yeah, keep dreaming, Mr. Winchester,” he says as he leaves the room.

Dean shakes his head and finishes unpacking his things. Kevin is his best student, but nobody is perfect, not even him. Dean just wishes he could convince Kevin that it’s okay not to be perfect every once in a while.

“Morning, Dean!” Charlie sings as she waltzes into his classroom.

“Good morning.”

“So, Benny tells me you’re tired.” She wiggles her eyebrows at him. “He said you were grading papers until eleven.”

“Yeah, so what?”

“So, you just told poor Kevin you haven’t graded any papers yet... So, what did you ditch us for last night?”

Dean sighs and shakes his head. “Look, just because I haven’t _finished_ grading any papers yet doesn’t mean I haven’t _started_.”

“You were grading till eleven, how could you have not finished grading at least one paper?!?”

She’s annoyed, and Dean knows her anger is valid. He feels bad about ditching them last night, but he feels even worse that Charlie doesn’t know the truth. She’s his best friend, and he can’t tell her a damn thing. That’s what’s really bothering Charlie. She knows there’s something he’s not telling her, and it’s starting to piss her off. “Look, I may or may not have... embellished my story.” Her gaze ignites. “I really just wanted a quiet night in... you know?”

“Dean? We’ve known each other since grade school. Not once in our relationship have you ever wanted a ‘quiet night in’.” She sighs and heads for the door. “But, if that’s what you want to tell me, I guess that’s your business.”

And with that, she leaves Dean sitting at his desk, feeling like the biggest dick in the world, just as the warning bell for first period rings. He’s in deep shit now.

*****

As fourth period rolls around, Dean has almost forgotten his fight (for lack of a better word) with Charlie this morning. He’s had a really good day so far. His students have all been prepared for class and have behaved admirably.

Then, starts fourth period.

The bell rings, and Dean closes the door, greeting the class as he does so. “How’s everybody doing this morning?” As he turns back to face the class, he rests his gaze on  sparkling blue eyes. And, there goes his day. Memories come flooding in from last night. Cas dominating, something they’d never done before. Cas beneath him, thrusting into him. Cas not being able to keep his eyes open as he climaxes. Cas sucking down his--

“Mr. Winchester? May I use the restroom?”

Dean tears his gaze away and looks at Ben. “Sure, go right ahead.” He tries to shake Cas’s gaze, but he can’t. He feels it follow him as he walks back to the front of the room. _Dammit, what the hell is wrong with me? Get a grip_ , he mentally chastises himself before beginning the day’s lesson.

Dean can barely concentrate for the rest of class. He tries his best to avoid looking at Cas, but sometimes he can’t resist. During their note-taking session, Cas doesn’t budge. All he does is stare at Dean. He thinks that maybe he should get on to him, tell him this shit will be on the test, but that would require Dean to actually talk to Cas. And, he can’t have that. Not in front of everyone. So, he ignores it, and continues on with the notes. When it’s time for reading groups, Dean purposely spends too much time with one group to avoid Cas’s group, the period bell ringing before he has a chance to grade them. He sighs a sigh of relief.

“I’ll grade you all tomorrow,” he says to the group. “Castiel, could I speak with you for a moment after class?” He sounded professional, but if someone listened too closely, they’d find he sounded a bit over-professional.

Lunch is next, so they don’t have to worry about being late for a class. Charlie drops by just before Dean is about to start speaking. “You comin’?”

“Yeah, just have to talk to a student first.”

She looks at Cas. “Okay, I’ll save you a spot in the line!”

“Thanks, Charlie, and I’m sorry--”

She waves him off. “You’re fine, Winchester, you’re fine.” She winks at him before walking away.

“Friend of yours?” Cas asks.

Dean detects a hint of jealousy in his voice. “Best friend.”

Cas nods. “Right.”

“She’s gay, Cas.”

“Yeah? Well, so am I.” Cas laughs at his joke.

“What was that about in class today?”

Cas smirks, stepping a bit closer to Dean. “What? You taking too long with that other group so you wouldn’t have to talk to me? I don’t know. I was wondering the same thing.”

_Fuckin’ smartass_. “You didn’t take any notes, Cas. Just stared at me the whole time.”

Cas steps closer to Dean and leans in. Their noses almost touching. “What can I say, _Mr. Winchester_?” He purrs. “I like watching you squirm.” _Seriously, when did he learn to talk like that?_

Dean snaps himself out if it. “Cas, we can’t. Not here. Not now.” Cas leans back and takes a step back.

“I know, Dean. I know.” There’s hurt in his eyes. It’s not a lot, but it’s enough for Dean to notice. Dean wants to reach out and hold him, but he knows he shouldn’t.

Instead, he tries to keep their conversation about school. “Look, in class, I need you to pay attention. I don’t want you to fail.”

Cas shrugs. “Maybe I don’t need to take notes.”

Dean huffs. “You can’t remember everything I say.”

Cas looks into Dean’s eyes and says, “Oh, honey, how could I ever forget a word that comes out of that sweet mouth?”

And, with that, Cas heads out of the classroom and goes to lunch. That pain still resting in his eyes.

And leaving Dean feeling like a complete dick. Again.

 

 


	3. Three

The rest of the school day seems to drag on forever. Dean almost faints from relief when the last period bell rings. He says goodbye to his seventh period and starts getting ready to leave. He doesn’t want to stay any longer than he needs to. That look on Cas’s face has haunted him all day. He couldn’t stop thinking about him. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Cas beneath him, saw him at his peak, saw that pain lingering in his eyes. _God, what the hell is wrong with me?_ Dean sighs and slumps down into his chair. He rubs his temples and lays his head down on his desk. “I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot, Mr. Winchester.” Cas’s voice startles Dean, who jumps at the sound of his voice.

Dean doesn’t lift his head, but he responds to Cas. “Yes, I am, Cas.”

“No, no, you’re not. You’re actually quite smart.” That makes Dean lift his head.

He sighs and says, “What brings you here, Castiel?”

Cas shifts from side to side, nervous. “Look, about class today...” He trails off, hesitant. “I was the idiot, okay? You were right... I can’t fail your class. And, it totally threw you off, which I’m not gonna lie was fuckin’ awesome...” He cracks a cocky grin but quickly sobers up. “But, it disrupted class, and that’s just not fair to the other students, ya know?”

“Yeah. Thanks for apologizing. I appreciate it.” Cas nods his ‘you’re welcome,’ but he doesn’t leave. “Is there something else?”

He bites his lip apprehensively. _Fuck, that’s hot._ “Well, I was kinda, uh... I was wondering if I, uh, could, I dunno... Maybe could I have your number?” He stammers through the whole sentence and avoids eye contact.

Dean finds him extremely adorable. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”

Cas shrugs. “It’d be easier to make plans than doing it during class or something... You’re right, though, it’s stupid.” Cas waves him off. “Forget about it.” Cas starts to leave.

“No, no, Cas!” He stops and turns around. “I didn’t say no.” Relief floods over Cas’s features.

“Thanks, it’d just be--”

Dean holds up a hand. “I know. You ready?” Cas scrambles to get out his phone. “It’s 678-355-8456.” Cas keys in the numbers. “So, I've answered all your questions for the test next week?”

“What are you--” Cas cuts himself off as he looks up to find Charlie--or Ms. Bradbury as he knows her--walking in. “Uh, yeah, I think you answered all my questions... Uh, thanks. See you tomorrow, Mr. Winchester,” Cas is stammering again as he makes his exit from the room.

“See ya’, Castiel,” Dean says, back in professional mode.

Charlie chuckles. “He seemed startled by my entrance.”

Dean huffs out a laugh. “Ha, well, you were pretty quiet coming in... So, what can I do for you, Charlie?”

“I was just wondering if you wanted to grab dinner together on Wednesday? I feel like it’s been a while since we’ve had a meal together that wasn’t cafeteria food.”

Dean’s phone buzzes on his desk; he looks down to see a text saying _this is Cas_. He turns off the screen and refocuses on Charlie. “Uh, Wednesday? Sure, that sounds good. Don’t think I have anything going on.”

Charlie’s face lights up. “Thanks, man. I’ll see you tomorrow!” She leaves his classroom with a smile on her face.

He unlocks his phone, saves Cas’s number, and responds with a _Thanks._ Then, he finishes packing up from the day. It doesn’t take him long, and by the time he’s done, Benny is knocking on his door.

“You ready, Dean?” He asks.

“You bet,” Dean says, slinging his bag over his shoulder. He eyes the stack of papers on his desk. He decides against taking them home and leaves with Benny.

Once they’re on the road, Benny starts talking. “So, I started the dodgeball unit today. Had to take three kids to the damn nurse’s office. What part of _don’t aim at the head or stomach_ don’t teenagers understand?” Benny shakes his head and continues ranting about his day. Dean zones out, thinking about Cas. Again. He shakes his head, _why can’t I get this kid out of my head?_

His phone buzzes in his pocket. Speak of the devil. He doesn’t want to check it in front of Benny, and that’s all he can think about for the rest of the ride. He’s anxious to read the text from Cas. It could be one word. It could be a hundred. He doesn’t care. He just wants to read it. _What the fuck is wrong with me?_

Benny pulls up in front of Dean’s apartment building. “So, you drivin’ tomorrow?”

Dean’s about to say yes when he remembers something. “Shit, I forgot I have a dentist’s appointment tomorrow morning, so we might just need to drive separately tomorrow. But, I’ll drive on Wednesday.”

“Okay, no problem, brother. See ya later, then.”

“See ya, man.” Dean gets out of Benny’s car and watches him drive away.

He turns and starts heading to his apartment, pulling out his phone as he does so. _Np_ is Cas’s text. Dean shakes his head and laughs at himself. Seriously, what the fuck?

*****

Dean spends the night entering grades and catching up on his TV shows. Overall, it’s a quiet night, and Charlie is right. It’s not something Dean really prefers. In fact, he hates quiet nights. They’re boring and lame, but sometimes there’s just no avoiding them. Dean decides to turn in around eleven. He brushes his teeth and gets ready for bed. He’s about to turn off his lamp and go to sleep when his phone buzzes.

It's Cas. Can _we get together tomorrow night?_

Dean thinks before replying. He really likes this thing he has going with Cas. He’s a really,  _really_ good lay. He’s got that almost virginal feel to him, ya know? He’s still tight and young and just really good in bed. But, what they’re doing isn’t necessarily ethical. It’s perfectly legal because Cas is technically an adult, but Dean could still lose his job if anyone ever found out.

Dean’s phone buzzes again. _If you’re busy, i understand._

Dean sighs. _I’m not busy. Wanna come over around 8?_

Cas’s response is almost instantaneous. _9:30? PU’s will be in bed by then._

_Sure. Sounds good. See ya then._

_awesome, night!_

Dean responds, _night_. Then, he turns out the light and falls asleep with a smile on his face.

*****

Dean gets up the next day, goes to his dreaded dentist’s appointment, where he has to get a filling. The appointment takes a little longer than planned, so he ends up missing first through fourth period. _Dammit_ , he thinks. The last three periods of the day drag on and on. It doesn’t help that half of his face is numb and tingling. Once he regains feeling in his mouth, his teeth and gums start to throb. He takes some pain killers before seventh period. His lesson plan isn’t much different than it was yesterday, but it feels hours longer. Once that final bell rings, Dean dances happily in his mind. _Just six more hours_ , he thinks.

He decides to stay for a little while and actually grade some papers, starting with Kevin’s. The kid dropped by during lunch to ask about his paper _again_. Dean is almost certain Kevin made an A, but Kevin just wants 100s.

Shaking his head at his thoughts, Dean pulls Kevin’s paper out of the stack and starts grading. _Why, why, why did I think a ten page research paper was a good idea?_ The prompt was actually pretty simple. Students had to choose a literary classic, research its most famous adaptations--theatrical, movie, TV, etc.-- and compare them. Kevin chose _Romeo and Juliet_ for whatever reason. Kevin may be smart, but he isn’t always the most original student Dean has. With a sigh, Dean starts reading.

After about twelve minutes, the paper is graded, and Kevin got a 97. “Well, he’s not gonna be happy,” Dean mumbles to himself. He puts Kevin’s paper aside and grabs the next paper.

Four _Sherlock Holmes_ and six _Dracula_ ’s later, Dean rubs his eyes and stretches. He looks at his watch. Has it really been two hours? He mentally groans as he takes the next paper and starts grading. Yet again. The stack seems infinite. Endless. These papers will take forever to grade, but whatever. He dug his own grave. He looks down and the new paper.

_The Adaptations of JRR Tolkien’s Middle Earth: From animation to award-winning Peter Jackson classics._

_Castiel Novak, 4th period_

Dean reads the title. Blinks. Reads it again, and laughs. Now, this is something he hasn’t seen. This is creative. Unique. Original. Not _Romeo and Juliet_ , not _Sherlock_ , not _Dracula_. Or Frankenstein, which he hasn’t come across yet, but he’s sure he will. This is a good, a really good, idea. And, he freakin loves that Cas is the one who wrote it. Because of course Cas would write something like this. Without further ado, Dean dives in. He hangs on every word Cas wrote. His paper is captivating. Interesting. It’s so much more well written than the others he’s read so far that he’s tempted to go back and lower their grades. But, he doesn’t. That would just be mean. Cas is such a clean writer. He doesn’t say much more than he needs to, and he clearly and passionately states his opinions. He makes little to no grammar mistakes. Dean has no second thoughts giving him a 100. This paper is what Dean was hoping every kid in the class would do with the assignment. He wanted them to choose a topic that they liked and one they were passionate about. He didn’t want them to choose an easy topic or a classic they had read in school. That’s what Ben did. That’s what Anna did. That’s even what Kevin did, and he has the highest grade in the class. They’re all good students. But, they take the easy way out. They do what they think Dean wants. They write what they think he wants to read. But, in doing so, they end up doing the exact opposite. Whereas Cas sees the assignment and gets excited because he can actually pick a topic on something cool. He chose The freakin _Lord of the Rings_ for crying out loud.

Dean’s proud, too proud. So, he decides to stop grading because he might unconsciously grade unfairly. Instead, he puts in the grades he has, and puts in progress for everyone else. Then, he plans Wednesday and Thursday’s classes, and that takes him a good two and a half hours. Once he’s done with all that, he decides to finally go home. He packs up and heads out to the parking lot.

He gets home about fifteen minutes later. It’s about eight o’clock, and he realizes his apartment is kind of a mess, so he tidies up a bit. Makes the bed, picks up the living room, loads the dishwasher, puts his dirty clothes in the hamper, and checks his bedside table for condoms and lube. All right, now he’s set and ready for Cas to come over. He looks at the kitchen clock. 9:00. “Fuck!”

Dean sits forcefully down on the couch and tries to read, but time seems to be slower than normal. The next thirty minutes pass in an hour. He hasn’t felt time pass this slowly since he was a kid waiting for Christmas morning. _What the hell?_

Finally, _finally_ , 9:30 rolls around, and now it’s only a matter of time. A minute or two later, Dean’s doorbell rings. He springs up from the couch and rushes to open the door.

Cas is standing outside somewhat awkwardly, but Dean thinks he looks adorable anyway. Before Cas has a chance to say anything, Dean pulls him inside and smashes their lips together. Cas is shocked initially but soon relaxes into the kiss. Dean closes the door and pushes Cas against it. He tugs on Cas’s shirt, and Cas lifts his arms so that Dean can bring it over his head. Cas reaches for Dean’s, but he swats him away. “Not so fast, sugar,” he says and bends down to lick and kiss his way across Cas’s chest. Dean sucks a nipple into his mouth, and Cas gasps. Dean smiles and kisses his way across to Cas’s other nipple. He sucks until it’s hard and raw. Then, Dean kisses his way back up to Cas’s neck and eventually back to his mouth. Cas responds desperately. Dean reaches between them and gropes Cas’s cock through his jeans.

Cas breaks the kiss. “Jesus, Dean.”

An idea goes off in Dean’s head. “That’s Mr. Winchester to you, Castiel.” Cas looks into Dean’s eyes, somewhat confused, but it quickly turns to excitement.

“Yes, Mr. Winchester.”

Dean groans and continues to rub Cas’s clothed erection. Cas pants and throws his head back against the door, thrusting his hips up against Dean’s hand. Dean sucks a hickey onto Cas’s neck--something he’s never done before-- and makes his way down his torso. Dean dips his tongue into Cas’s navel and works open the button and fly on Cas’s jeans. He shoves his jeans and boxers down in one motion, and Cas’s cock springs free.

Cas whimpers when Dean doesn’t do anything but stand up and motion for Cas to follow him to his room, still fully clothed. Cas doesn’t think twice. He more than willingly follows his teacher to the bedroom. Dean pulls Cas to him and kisses him roughly before pushing him back onto the bed. Cas smiles up at him. So as not to break character, Dean says, “This is nothing to smile about, Castiel. You’re in some serious trouble here.”

Cas’s smile is replaced by mock confusion. “I’m sorry, Mr. Winchester, but I’m not sure I know what I’ve done.”

Dean loosens his tie. He didn’t change when he got home and is still wearing his suit. He takes off the tie and drops it to the floor. He starts on the buttons on his shirt. “Well, Castiel, I’m sorry, but I really don’t have time for this game. Why don’t you just admit what you did?” Dean pulls his shirt out of his pants and takes it off.

“I didn’t do anything--”

“Uh-uh. No, you don’t get to act all innocent.” Dean works open his slacks; they’re becoming painfully tight. “You know very well what you’ve done.” The mock confusion grows on his face. “You blurred the line between teacher and student, and... and for that, you’ll have to be punished.”

Cas starts to protest. “But, please--”

“No more talking, Castiel. You’re already in enough trouble. Just follow my instructions.” Cas nods. “Good boy,” Dean praises him. “On your hands and knees.” As Cas gets in position, Dean finishes taking off his clothes and starts fisting his cock. He walks over to his bedside table and gets a condom and lube for later.

Before Dean continues, he pauses, thinking about what they’re doing. This is different from what they normally do. Normally, they’d be done by now. Dean looks over to Cas presenting himself to him and forgets all his hesitations.

Dean positions himself behind Cas and teases him, rubbing the back of his thighs and his hips. He presses kisses along Cas’s hips before dipping lower and kissing the skin just above his hole. Cas gasps. Dean licks a stripe across, just teasingly, and goes back to rubbing his legs. Cas whimpers. “What is it, Castiel?”

“Please...”

“Please what?”

“More... Please, I need more...”

Dean goes back to kissing Cas’s hips. He moves lower and starts eating Cas out, using his tongue as a substitute for his cock. Cas nearly screams from the overwhelming pleasure. Dean feels the younger man’s muscles clench and unclench around his tongue. Cas is close.

Dean pulls away. Cas sighs, exasperated. “Not yet, Castiel. You won’t be let off that easy, mister.” Dean lubes up his fingers before pressing two into Cas at once. Cas groans. “Your punishment isn’t quite over yet.” Dean starts moving his fingers in and out quickly and forcefully. Cas gives a particularly loud moan when Dean finally hits his prostate. Then he adds a third finger, spreading Cas open. Cas pants and moans, and he starts to fuck himself back onto Dean’s fingers. Dean adds a fourth, but he’s getting restless. He can’t wait much longer. He pulls his fingers out of Cas, who whimpers at the loss, and grabs the condom. He slips it on quickly and lubes himself up. Finally, Dean lines up and shoves himself in all the way in one go. There it is: that tight virginal heat he was thinking about earlier. “Fuck, Cas... So tight.” Cas groans in response. Dean pulls out almost to his tip and shoves back in hard, eliciting a loud grunt from Cas. He rolls his hips before repeating the motion until Cas screams. “That’s it, sugar, isn’t it? There’s your sweet spot isn’t it?” Dean gives a shallow thrust for emphasis, and Cas moans.

Now that he’s found _the_ spot, Dean starts moving faster, harder, hitting that spot every time. Cas moans, pants, groans, and grunts. He moves his hand, reaching for his cock. Dean swats him away. “Uh-uh.” Dean leans over him, holding Cas’s hands to the bed. He whispers into Cas’s ear. “You’re coming untouched tonight... Castiel.” Cas whines a moan. And, Dean sits back up and gives Cas all he can. He moves as fast and hard as he can.

“So, close,” Cas moans. “Ah, God, don’t stop, Mr. Winchester, p-please... ah, ah, _fuck, yes, yes, yes_!” Cas screams as he goes over the edge. Dean holds him as the shivers work through his body. When he’s done, Cas starts fucking himself back on Dean’s erection. “Mr. Winchester, you’re not done yet... Can’t have that.” Dean groans.

“Off,” Cas scrambles off, somewhat confused. Dean sits against the headboard and motions for Cas to join him. Understanding, Cas straddles Dean and sinks down on him quickly and roughly. “That’s it, Cas... that’s it.” Cas moves quickly, clenching his muscles every time he lifts himself up and unclenching them as he slides back down. The push and pull has Dean panting and moaning. He’s not gonna last long like this. “Shit, _Cas_ , don’t stop.”

Panting, Cas responds. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Mr. Winchester.”

That’s it. That _Mr. Winchester_ sends him over the edge. He thrusts up into Cas once more as he climaxes and holds him close.

After he’s come down from his high, he cleans them both up and cuddles up with Cas in his arms. They sit in a comfortable silence. Dean rubs gentle circles on Cas’s shoulder, and Cas plays with Dean’s little nipple hairs.

“My parents are getting a divorce,” Cas says after about twenty minutes of silence. His voice almost shocks Dean. Before he can respond, Cas continues. “My dad is having an affair with a girl who’s only a year older than me. My mom found out. Decided to leave him.” Dean stays quiet. It’s clear Cas just wants to talk. “They sign the papers tomorrow. They’ve been working all of it out for months. I found out yesterday.” _Damn, that’s harsh_. “Since I’m eighteen, there’s no custody battle. My dad thinks it would somehow be worse than it is now if there were some kind of custody fight. Like it would really make a difference.” He sighs. “Anyway, I’m going to keep living with my mom, but he got the house in the agreement. So, we have to move into an apartment because it’s all my mom can afford. She only has a part-time job, but she’s going to have to get another one. One that’s full time, and maybe even another one.” Cas sniffles. “I hate my dad for what he did to my mom, to us... But...but I hate her too. She kept all this from me. She preaches non stop about sinners and shit, so you can forget about me ever, _ever_ coming out to her. And my dad is too macho-man to understand it too. So on top of all this other shit, I can’t be myself around them. They keep asking if I have a girlfriend or if I’m asking a girl to prom. Blah, blah, blah.” He sniffles again. “It’s just so fucking difficult...” He’s quiet for a long few moments. “Anyway, that’s when I texted you yesterday. I had just found out about all the divorce stuff. We got into a huge fight... I needed someone. I just... I dunno. I wanted to see you.” He snuggles closer to Dean, who hugs him closer in response.

“I understand,” Dean says.

“Really?” Cas turns his head to look up at Dean

“Completely. My parents split when I was twenty-two. Didn’t tell me or my brother. My dad was an army guy, total, total macho-man. He laughed and spit in disgust when I told him I’m bi, thought I was kidding. Once he deduced I was serious,” Dean’s throat closes up at the memory. He hasn’t talked about this since...well, ever. “Well, let’s just say that didn’t sit well with him.” _Why am I telling him all this?_ “Anyway, he died a few years ago, just a couple years after my mom... All I have left is my brother. Sam.”

“I’m sorry, Dean.”

Dean waves him off. “Nah, I’m okay. Really. It’s been a while. Sure, they both died kind of unexpectedly, but I dunno. I don’t miss my dad much. And my mom was great, but...” He trails off. She was great, the best mom ever. “But, it’s been almost five years now. Gotta move on at some point... Anyway, I’m sorry about your parents. That must not be easy.”

“It isn’t. I got into another fight with them tonight. Told them I was going to a friend’s house... and that they may not see me till tomorrow...” Cas trails off. Dean is confused but quickly catches up with the times. “If that’s okay with you anyway...”

Dean looks down at the young man in his arms. Cas obviously has it hard at home. He needs some space. “Of course,” he says without consciously making up his mind.

“Thanks, Dean. Knew I could count on you.” He leans up and presses a gentle kiss upon Dean’s lips.

“Any time.” Dean hugs him closer and holds him until he falls asleep.

Dean slips out of Cas’s hold, careful not to wake him, and texts Benny.

_I can’t drive tomorrow. Got another thing to deal with in the morning. I’ll drive Thurs._

Benny’s response comes thirty seconds later. _K_.

Dean slips back into bed and curls up next to Cas, hugging him close. He falls asleep shortly after with a grin on his face.

 


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is slightly later than what I said in the comments, but here it is, the 4th chapter! Hope you guys like it!

When Dean wakes up the next morning, he’s surprised to find the space next to him cold and empty. He’s confused. Why would Cas leave after he told him he could stay? Shaking his head, he gets out of bed and prepares for the day. He takes a long shower, letting the hot water run over him for a good ten minutes before washing his hair and body. Then, he gets dressed. His tie drawer is on the other side of the bed, the side Cas slept on, and when he gets his tie for the day, he finds a note.

_Sorry for leaving. I just realized I don’t have a pair of clean clothes or anything. And, I think my parents are gonna worry about me, so I’m just going to go home. Sorry. Didn’t want to wake you. You were snoring. See ya tomorrow. -Cas_

“I guess that makes sense,” Dean mutters to himself. He finishes getting ready for the day, eats breakfast, and heads to school. He checks his watch as he slides into the Impala. _Damn, I’m behind schedule_ , he thinks to himself. He doesn’t have to pick up Benny, though, so he should make it on time.

But, of course, he doesn’t remember that until he’s halfway to his house. “Fuck!” He slams his hand on the steering wheel when he remembers. He makes a U-turn that may or may not have been illegal and heads to school. He speeds a little more than usual in order to make it in time. Finally, he makes it to school ten minutes before the warning bell for first period. He sighs a sigh of relief, cuts the engine, and goes inside.

He finds Kevin waiting for him outside his classroom. Dean suppresses a sigh.When Kevin looks up, his eyes fill with anger. “Mr. Winchester--” Dean holds up a hand to stop him. Kevin’s whiny tone will not be tolerated.

“Kevin, tone.”

He huffs, but speaks more politely. “Mr. Winchester, I’m sorry, but how on earth did I only get a 97 on my report?” Well, it started out more polite, but the whiny-ness was still there.

“Look, Kevin, had I read others’ earlier,” Dean begins thinking of Cas’s paper, “I probably would have given you an even lower grade.” Kevin’s eyes pop. “You should be happy I graded yours first.”

Kevin shakes his head, confused. “But, Mr. Winchester, _why_?”

Dean really doesn’t want to deal with this shit right now, so he sighs and gives Kevin an honest answer. “Because, Kevin, it all starts with the idea. And you chose a truly mundane, unoriginal idea. I mean, _Romeo and Juliet_? Do you know how many others chose that?” He pulls out a stack of papers, all about the star-crossed lovers. He managed to sort through them yesterday and pick them all out. “Sixteen. That means _sixteen_ of your peers, whom you claim to be smarter than, chose the same classic as you. Do you even like _Romeo and Juliet_?”

“No, but--”

“Kevin, the assignment was to choose your favorite classic and research all its adaptations and compare them. You chose the one you thought I wanted to read about.”

Kevin is quiet for a moment. “Well, what should I have chosen?”

Dean sighs, exasperated. _Isn’t it obvious?_ “Something you liked. A classic you actually enjoyed reading, something you could put passion behind. I read your paper... It read as though you were being forced to write it. I’m sorry, Kevin, but the only reason you even got an A was because you used good grammar and your organization was pretty good. But, in the grand scheme of things, I think you failed this assignment because you didn’t take it seriously, and you didn’t think you should have fun with it. Tell me, if you were told to research a famous supreme court case for your government course, what would you choose? _Brown v. Board of Education_? _Roe v. Wade_?” Dean asks, knowing gov is his favorite class.

“No, but--”

Dean cuts him off. “You would choose a case that’s special to you, right?” Kevin just nods. “Well, it’s no different for this class, Kevin! You can’t just push my class off to the side of your brain that’s marked unimportant. You want to know why you didn’t get a 100? Because you didn’t try hard enough.” Kevin’s jaw drops as the first bell rings. “I expect more from you, Kevin. I know you can get hundreds, but lack of effort does show. All I ask is that you try. Please.” Kevin nods. “I’ll see you in fifth period.” Kevin nods again and leaves his room looking completely mortified. _Was I too harsh?_ He thinks as his first period floods into the room.

*****

The day does not start out well, to say the least. His morning classes are all very chatty, and Dean in his mean-teacher-mode for most of the morning. Even fourth period, his favorite class for obvious reasons, is exhausting. His students just won’t _shut up_ today. When the lunch bell rings at the end of fourth period, he slumps down into his desk chair and closes his eyes, completely wasted from just his first four periods. He still has to deal with _three_ more classes. Dean groans.

“That’s a lot hotter when we’re not at school.”

 _Dammit, Cas. My day started badly because of you._ Not feeling the witty banter, Dean asks, “What do you need, Cas?”

“Um, I just wanted to say sorry.”

Dean sighs. He’s doing that a lot today. “For what?”

Cas’s eyes are huge, and his eyebrows are pushed together in worry. “For leaving last night.” Dean nods, but doesn’t say anything. “I just needed some fresh clothes... I didn’t want to wake you...” He’s almost whispering. Dean still doesn’t respond. “Look, I just... I dunno, I’m just sorry, okay?” Cas searches Dean’s eyes for forgiveness, but Dean makes sure he doesn’t find it.

“You know the more a person says the word sorry, the less meaning it has.”

Cas’s mouth opens in protest, but he closes it before saying anything. He stands there for a second before ultimately deciding it’d be best to just leave, and he storms off to the cafeteria. Dean sighs again, but his day has just been shitty. And, he really can’t think straight.

Dean sits, contemplating his words to Cas and to Kevin. Was he too harsh? Why is he so fucking worked up over Cas’s leaving last night? It’s not any different from how it usually works between the two of them. Meet up, fuck, say goodbye. Like why is this time different? _I dunno, maybe because Cas fucking told me his life story last night. Maybe because I almost told him_ _mine._ _Gah, what the hell is wrong with me? He’s just a kid for crying out loud!_ Dean groans again and puts his head down on his desk.

“Bad day, darling?”

Dean nearly groans again, but resists. He lifts his head. “What can I do for you, Crowley?”

The scruffy man smiles. “Oh, nothing. I was just wondering how it’s going. We haven’t spoken in a while.”

“Yeah? Well, maybe there’s a reason,” Dean snaps.

Crowley gasps in mock hurt. “Dean, how could you be so cruel?” Dean glares at him, and he chuckles. “You’re not really still upset about that, are you?”

Dean really doesn’t feel like having this conversation again, so he repeats his question. “Is there something you need, Crowley? Or, are you just bothering me?”

Crowley sighs. “I got word from the head-honcho that we have to collaborate on a unit, seeing as we teach the same class.”

“And, by collaborate she means?”

“Same content, same test.”

“Well, that’s bullshit.” Crowley nods in agreement. Dean has an idea. “What about that unit you usually do on Dante? You share your lesson plans, and I’ll rewrite the test?” This is the only option they have to collaborate on something and work together as little as possible, and Crowley knows it.

“Fine.” Without anything more, he turns and leaves him be.

Dean checks his watch, 11:42. _Not too bad_ , he thinks and goes to lunch. After getting a tray full of crappy cafeteria food, Dean sinks into the chair next to Charlie with a sigh. He digs in without a word. Little does he know that everyone else at the table is staring at him. Charlie is the first to speak to him. “Uh, Dean? You ok?”

Dean grunts his _yes_ and keeps eating. When no one says anything else, he looks up to find everyone still staring at him. “What?” He asks with his mouth full.

Benny chimes into the conversation before Charlie gets a chance. “You just seem really... angry about something. Bad day?”

Dean sighs again. Damn, I’m doing that too much today, he thinks. “Look, I’m fine, okay? Next person who asks me if I’m not is gonna wish they hadn’t.” Not the best threat he could have come up with, but with the shitty day he’s had, he just can’t think of anything better. So, he finishes his ‘threat’ with a pointed stare. That seems to do the trick. Everyone at the table slowly goes back to eating and carrying on their side conversations. He doesn’t speak for the rest of lunch, just eats. Sitting, brewing over what’s happened today.

Regretting every last word he’s said.

*****

The second half of his day goes a little more smoothly than the morning, but his classes still act as if they’re made up of freshmen instead of seniors. Finally, when that seventh period bell rings, he can relax and take a deep breath from his tiring day. Not a minute after the bell rings, Charlie stops by his room.

“Hey, we’re still on for dinner tonight, right?”

 _Oh, shit_. “Uh, yeah, yeah. No problem. You want me to drive?”

Charlie waves him off. “Nah, I’ll drive. It’s no biggie.” Dean nods but doesn’t say anything more. The silence that lingers between them is awkward. Since when does this happen? “About earlier...” Dean huffs before she finishes. “Look, I know you say you’re all right, but I _know_ you, Dean. Come on, I know something is bothering you.”

He shakes his head. She _does_ know him, better than he knows himself sometimes. It’s scary. “I just... I just had a sucky day, okay? It was just one of those days where kids were complaining and uncooperative and loud and obnoxious and lazy and I don’t know, I just was not in the mood for it today. I’m sorry for how I acted at lunch, but--”

A knock on Dean’s door cuts him off. “Mr. Winchester?”

Charlie turns to look at Cas. “Castiel, right?” Cas nods. Charlie smiles at him and turns back to Dean. “Don’t be sorry. You’re fine. I’ll pick you up at eight tonight, okay?”

Dean nods as she leaves the room. “What’s up, Castiel?” Dean feels bad for what he said to Cas earlier, but at the same time, what he said was true. He could have said it more nicely, though.

As if reading his thoughts, Cas says, “Look, what you said earlier... It made sense. I apologize a lot. And, I shouldn’t have just left last night without saying goodbye, but I just...” Cas trails off, unsure of what to say.

“It’s okay, seriously. I’m sorry about what I said to you earlier... I meant what I said, don’t get me wrong. But, I shouldn’t feel like a dick afterwards. And, I understand why you left. It makes sense. Don’t feel bad, just wake me next time. I won’t mind.” Dean winks at him, and Cas’s eyes light up.

“So, uh, there’ll be a next time?”

Dean’s brow wrinkles in confusion. “What made you think otherwise?”

“Well, with how you were talking earlier... I just overthink things sometimes, so... sorry, I just--” Dean cuts him off.

“There you go, saying sorry again when you don’t need to.” Cas smirks bashfully. “Look, that’s exactly why I’m sorry for how I spoke to you.”

“Okay, well, you’re forgiven... _Mr. Winchester_ ,” Cas says seductively, and Dean would be lying if he said he was completely unaffected by it.

“Thanks.”

Cas chuckles. “Well, I’ve got to catch my bus before it leaves me. I’ll catch ya later.”

Dean waves, but then, he remembers something. “Oh, Cas!”

Cas turns around before he’s too far down the hall and comes back. “Yes?”

“If anything at home bothers you--parents fighting or whatever-- you can call me, okay? We don’t have to meet or arrange a meeting. You have my number. You can just call and talk to me, all right?”

Cas smiles softly at him and says, “I know,” before turning back down the hall, rushing to catch his bus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who reads this! I really appreciate it! I've received a very positive response, something I wasn't expecting at all, so I just wanna say thanks to everyone who's reading this. Especially to those who leave kudos and comments; ya'll are awesome!!! This work is all for you guys, and I love that you guys like it!! So, thanks!!!!!!!  
> With love,  
> thesherlockianwhjustcant (I know, I have a Sherlock username and I'm posting Destiel. Who cares?)


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Sorry this took a little while! I just moved out of my house and started university! Yay!! SO, I may not be updating super consistently, but I will try my HARDEST to update at LEAST once a week!!!! Thanks for understanding and being so supportive. As always, this is for you!  
> ~thesherlockianwhjustcant

Dean sighs and leans back on his couch, rubbing his eyes. He checks his watch, seven-thirty. _I guess I should get ready._ Before getting up, he sorts through the papers he was just grading. He counts the number of _Romeo and Juliet_ ’s he’s graded. Only thirteen. He groans. _That means there’s three more papers comparing Leonardo DiCaprio and the dude from the sixties version._ He’s pretty sick of it. For the time being, though, he puts the papers aside and gets ready for his dinner with Charlie.

He and Charlie rarely go to fancy shmancy places for dinner, so Dean decides to do away with his suit and throw on a pair of nice jeans and a T-shirt. Dean starts reapplying his deodorant when his phone rings. Without looking at who’s calling, he answers. “Hello?”

“Hey, Dean, how’s it going?”

“Sammy! It’s been too long!” Dean excitedly greets his younger brother. Ever since he left for Stanford, the two of them haven’t been able to talk as often as they’d like. And now that Sam’s in law school, well, that just makes things twice as hard. “What’s up, man?”

“Nothing much, just thought I’d call and say hey. Like you said, it’s been too long.”

“Yeah, man. It has... How’s Jess?”

Sam sighs. “I dunno, man. We kinda had a fight...”

Dean waits for him to continue, but when he doesn’t, Dean asks, “Anything you guys can fix?”

Sam sighs sadly. “I’m not sure... I fucked up this time... badly.”

Dean raises his eyebrows. His brother is not one to fuck up easily. “What’d you do?”

“I kinda... well, I just...” He sighs. “I slept with someone.”

Dean’s eyes bulge. “You mean someone _not_ named Jess?”

“Dean.”

“Sorry, sorry. I’m just surprised that’s all...” Dean doesn’t know what to say to his little brother. For once, Sam has done something Dean never has, so he doesn’t really have any advice. “Why?”

Sam laughs dryly. “I dunno. I was drunk, Jess was out of town. I was horny. She was there... You know what that’s like, right?”

“No, Sammy, sorry, but I don’t.”

Sam is quiet for a moment. “How do I fix this?”

Dean thinks for a second. “Let me ask you a question. What about this other girl? You like her? Does she know about Jess?”

“She knew about Jess, yeah. I had classes with her last semester... We’re kinda friends. At least we were... Things are weird now.”

“Hmm...”

“What?”

Dean sighs. “Nothing, Sam. That’s all I got for you: nothing. I’m sorry, and I wish I could help you more, but for once, I’ve never been in your situation before.”

Sam laughs out of disbelief. “Really? Rebellious Dean Winchester has never cheated on a woman before? Sure, I believe that as much as I believe in Santa.”

“It’s true, Sam. I ended things with Cassie before I slept with Lisa. I ended things with Lisa before I got together with Abby. I ended things with her before I started dating that guy Jason. And, things with him were long over with before I--” Dean cuts himself off. _Shit_ , he thinks to himself. _Before I slept with Cas for the first time_.

Sam turns the conversation to focus on Dean. “Before you what, Dean? Are you seeing someone I don’t know about?”

Dean’s quiet for a long time, trying to think about an excuse. “No, no one, I swear... I just was saying that things with Jake were over before I had a one-night stand...”

“Uh-huh, sure,” Sam says, not buying it.

“This isn’t about me, Sam. You fucked up things with Jess, the woman of your dreams.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know... She hasn’t ended things officially yet, but I think she’s going to. I’ve apologized a billion times, and she’s still mad.”

Dean thinks about what he said to Cas earlier and repeats it for his brother. “You know, Sam, that’s the problem. The more someone says the word sorry, the less meaning it has.” Dean pauses. “Maybe, you should just give her a little space. Tell her you understand that she needs time and that you’re willing to give it to her. And, maybe then she’ll come back. Saying sorry over and over isn’t going to help. I can tell you that much.”

Sam considers this. “I guess you’re right... jerk.”

Dean smiles. “Bitch.” Dean’s buzzer goes off, signaling Charlie’s arrival. “Look, it’s been great chatting, but I have a dinner date with Charlie, so I’ll call you later this week some time, okay?”

“See ya later, Dean. Tell Charlie I said hey.”

“See ya,” Dean says.

He goes to the front door and buzzes Charlie up. Shortly thereafter, she knocks on his door. He lets her in and continues getting ready. “Come on, man, you don’t even have your shoes on?” She teases him.

“Haha, sorry, Sam called,” he defends as he laces up his shoes.

“Oh? How is he?”

Dean shakes his head. “Well, he may have blown his chances with Jess, but other than that, he’s good, I guess.”

“Aww, but they were the cutest.” She clasps her hands in front of her and makes an exaggerated pout face.

Dean rolls his eyes at her as he gets his wallet and keys on his way out. “Come on, we’re gonna be late,” he says.

She laughs and follows him out of the apartment.

*****

Charlie called ahead, so they don’t have to wait around for a table when they get to the restaurant. Yeah, Dean was apparently wrong in assuming they don’t go to fancy places because this place is _nice_. And, he is severely underdressed. When they sit down at their table, Dean says, “You could have told me I wasn’t dressed well enough. Woulda taken two seconds to change into a button-down.”

Charlie looks him over and shrugs. “You’re fine. No one cares.”

Dean snorts and picks up the menu. Nothing but non-alcoholic drinks are under twenty dollars. _Fuck, how am I gonna pay for this with a fucking teacher’s salary?_

“Oh, and this meal is on me,” Charlie says.

“Charlie, we can go dutch. It’s not a big deal. This place is expensive...” He looks at the menu again. “I mean 25 dollars for a piece of steak? We could have gone to Harvelle’s for so much cheaper... Why’d you choose this place?”

Charlie shrugs and doesn’t look up from the menu when she says nonchalantly, “I want you to meet someone.”

Dean raises an eyebrow. “Someone like... ya know?”

Charlie laughs at his inability to say the words _like someone you’re dating_. “Yep.”

“Hmm...” He doesn’t press the subject. She seems kind of nervous about this. He doesn’t know why. He’s met her girlfriends before, why would he care now? He shakes his head and continues to search the menu for something relatively cheap. _There’s always salad_ , a voice that sounds eerily like Sam nags at him. _Ew,_ he thinks. Nope. He needs his meat. He settles on a roast beef club sandwich with fries for $16.95; what a bargain! he thinks.

A moment later a short, dark red-headed waitress walks over to their table. Dean thinks she’s going to take their order, but she pulls up a chair and joins them. “Sorry, I’m late, my shift ran long.” She reaches over and laces her fingers with Charlie. _Oh_ , Dean thinks.

“I’m Dean,” Dean introduces himself and holds out his hand.

“Anna,” the girl says and shakes his hand.

Nobody says anything after that. Charlie still seems nervous, but Anna seems nervous too. _What the hell is going on?_ Dean’s about to ask them what’s up when another waiter approaches to take their order. “Hi, my name is Matt, and I’ll be your server for tonight. What can I get you all to drink?”

Charlie goes first. “I’ll just have water, please.”

“Me too,” Anna says.

“Whiskey, neat. Thanks.”

Matt writes it all down, then asks, “Okay, are you ready to order?”

Charlie nods. “I’d like the chicken chipotle salad, please.”

“And, I’ll have the steak, medium rare.”

Matt scribbles their orders down and looks to Dean. “Roast beef club for me, thanks.”

Matt collects the menus and says, “All right, I’ll have that right out for you.”

Once he’s gone, Dean jumps in. “So, how long have you guys been seeing each other?”

Anna looks over to Charlie. “Almost two years.”

If Dean were drinking something, he would have choked. “ _What_?” Why would Charlie keep something like that from him?

“Dean,” Charlie begins. “We just... we met and we started dating... And I didn’t know how to bring it up... I don’t know... When we started dating, she hadn’t come out yet to her family, so we wanted to keep it quiet for a while. But, since things are getting serious, we figured we should start to tell people.” It’s a perfectly good reason, and Dean knows that. But, it still hurts to hear that his best friend has been dating someone for _two years_ and hasn’t mentioned her once.

He takes a few moments to take it all in. He thinks about what to say, knowing he needs to choose his words carefully. The heavy silence among the three of them seems to drag on and on. He sighs. “It’s okay.” The tension he hadn’t noticed in their postures fades away. “I’m just a little shocked...” He has questions. “So, Anna, are you still not out to your family?”

Sadness fills her eyes. “I came out to them a few days ago. I don’t live with them anymore, so they couldn’t really do anything like kick me out, but they haven’t spoken to me since. They pretty much cut themselves off from me.” She shrugs. “I’ll be okay, though. I have Charlie.” She smiles and squeezes Charlie’s hand.

Matt swings by quickly to drop off their drinks and leaves. It takes about all of Dean’s self-control not to down his whiskey in one-go. “So, you work here?” He asks.

Anna nods. “Yeah, I’m working my way through grad school. I work part-time here, and full-time as a graduate teaching assistant.” She laughs dryly. “I honestly don’t know how I do it.”

“She’s brilliant,” Charlie says, and Anna blushes. “I don’t know how she does it either.” They look at each other adoringly. Dean’s stomach twists, and he looks away.

Trying to ignore the sickening feeling in his stomach, he says, “What are you studying?”

“You mean besides your best friend?” _Damn, that was good._ She chuckles. “Haha, I’m getting my masters in women’s health and education and how the two affect the overall national socioeconomic status.”

Dean considers this. “I honestly have no clue what that means exactly, but it sounds interesting.” Anna and Charlie laugh at his honesty.

A minute or so later, Matt comes back around with their food. After placing it all down on the table, he asks, “Anything else I can get for you?”

Dean looks over to the two lovebirds and answers for the table. “I think we’re good, thanks.” Matt nods and leaves them to eat in peace, and they dig in.

They eat pretty much in silence except for little bits of small talk here and there. Dean’s sandwich is pretty good, and he finishes it pretty quickly. Charlie and Anna take a little bit longer to finish, but once they do, Matt is back to ask about dessert. Dean is about to decline when Charlie speaks for the table. “We’d like two slices of cherry pie, please.”

Dean smiles. “You know the way to my heart.”

“No problem. I’ll be right back with that,” he says and leaves with their empty plates.

Dean watches him go, and when he looks back at Charlie and Anna, they’re sitting closer with both their hands clasped together on the table. “There’s something else we wanted to tell you, Dean,” Charlie begins.

Dean feels the confusion manifest on his face. “Okay...”

“Dean, Anna and I...” Charlie pauses. “We’re engaged.”

Dean’s eyes bulge. He blinks a few times. Blinks some more. Finally, it sinks down into his brain and what Charlie just said registers with him fully. “Holy shit,” he mutters. “Holy shit,” he repeats, louder, and a smile breaks out across his face. “Charlie! That’s awesome!” He gets up to offer her a hug. “C’mere, bring it in.” She laughs a laugh of relief and gets up to hug him. “I’m so happy for you,” he says as he pulls her in. She holds him tight.

“Thank you, Dean. I love you.”

He smiles. “I know.” She pulls away just enough to look at him and laugh.

She leans back into the hug and says, “Nerd.”

He chuckles and releases her. They sit back down just in time for Matt to swoop in to drop off the check and the pie. Dean eyes the pie and swipes a piece for himself. He takes a bite before asking, “When’s the big day?”

“Haven’t decided yet, but invite Sam. I want him there.” Dean nods and grunts his _of course_ since his mouth is full of pie. “And, Dean... you know I don’t have a lot of female friends, so I was wondering--” he cuts her off by raising his hand.

“I would love to be your maid of honor. I am going to throw you the _best_ bachelorette party _in history_.” She giggles.

“Thanks, Dean.”

“Of course.” He smiles and continues eating his pie. _Damn, this is good._ “You guys thinking a small affair? Just close friends and family?” Charlie nods.

“I don’t know who to invite from my end,” Anna says. “I mean, I know my parents won’t come, but I’d like it if my brother could come.”

“He in college too?”

She shakes her head. “He’s a senior in high school.” _Hmm_ , Dean thinks. “But, I know I’m going to invite some friends from the university. Some of them are already sending me bouquet and dress selections.” She laughs from the memories.

“It’s good that your friends support you.” She nods. “Does your brother know?”

“Yeah, I called him after the blow-up with my parents. He wants to come to the wedding, but he’s not sure he’ll be able to get away for that long.”

“Well, I hope you guys figure it out.” She nods. “So, have you guys decided how you want to do the whole last name thing? Is one of you going to change your name or...? Sorry, I don’t really know how it works.”

“We’re going to hyphenate.”

“Cool, so what will your new name be, Charlie?” He asks, wanting to know if it’ll be really long and weird.

“I’ll be Charlie Bradbury-Novak.”

Bradbury-Novak. As in Anna’s last name is Novak. As in Castiel Novak. As in Anna and Cas are siblings.

_Well, shit._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a note, I don't really ship Anna and Charlie. I just wanted to use another spn character, but I think she'll be a good addition! Hope you guys liked this chapter!!! And, stay tuned! I'll be posting chapter six soon!


	6. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, so I recently posted another fic that y'all should check out too if you want! It's also Destiel, and it's called Dining Out. Check it out if you want; don't if you don't. You do you. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and for the kudos and comments! They are AWESOME and I love them! Hope y'all enjoy this chapter... :D

To say the least, Dean doesn’t remember much of what happens for the rest of the night. All he knows is that he has to talk to Cas. He just has to. It’s all he can think about, so he doesn’t participate much for the rest of the evening. Charlie notices his silence on the drive back to his house. “You okay?” She asks. Dean doesn’t register that she’s asked him a question, though, so he doesn’t say anything, just stares out the window. “Dean?” Charlie tries again. “Hello! Earth to Dean!”

Her yelling startles him. “Sorry. What’d you say?”

She scoffs at him. “I asked if you were okay.”

He clears his throat. “Oh, yeah, yeah. I’m fine.”

“Really?” He nods and starts looking out the window again. “Cause you were pretty quiet after dessert.” He sighs.  “What’s up with you?”

“It’s nothing. Honestly. I’m just tired.”

She gives him a sidelong glance. “Dean. Come on, we’ve known each other for too long. I know something’s up, so just spit it out.” _Why does she have to know me so well?_

Dean looks over at his best friend while she drives, contemplating telling her everything. Would she understand? How would she react? Even though Cas is technically of legal age, there’s still quite the age gap between him and Dean. And then there’s the ethical issue of Dean being his teacher and all that. Dean would like to think that Charlie wouldn’t care. But, for once, he’s not sure if he can confide in her. He’s just not sure. He looks away from her and out the window, sighing again for what felt like the billionth time that day. “I really am just tired.” She scoffs again, annoyed, but she doesn’t push it. The rest of the ride is silent.

When she pulls up in front of his apartment building, Dean pauses before getting out. “Look, Charlie...” She doesn’t look at him. She knows. She knows he’s keeping something from her, and she’s pissed. “I’m really happy for you. I hope you know that.” She doesn’t say anything to that, so he just opens the door and gets out. He watches as she drives away.

_God, I feel like a dick_ , he thinks as he climbs the stairs to his apartment. He looks at his watch as he unlocks the door. It’s nearly midnight. Cas is probably asleep. _Dammit_. He debates with himself whether or not he should call Cas. He ultimately decides against it. Instead, he just texts him, telling him to meet him tomorrow before school.

_Hey, can you meet me tomorrow before school? I need to talk to you._

Dean doesn’t expect a response, but as he plugs in his phone for the night, his phone buzzes. _Sure, just meet in your room or...?_

Dean thinks about it for a minute. Maybe his room won’t be the best place. _No, meet me in the language arts storage closet. You know where that is?_

_Yeah. see ya there around 7:15?_

Kinda early for Dean, but he could make it work. _Yeah. See you then_

Cas responds a few minutes later. _Ok, good night_

_Night_. And, with that, Dean plugs in his phone, changes, and goes to bed.

*****

Dean’s already behind schedule for meeting Cas, rushing to get dressed as quickly as possible. He overslept big time, and now he’s reaping the consequences. Then when he thought his morning couldn’t get any worse, his phone rings. “Yeah, hello?” He asks hurriedly.

“Dean? Are you still drivin’ this mornin’?”

_Fuck! God dammit, shit, shit, shit..._ “Um...” He trails off, distracted by tying his tie.

Benny sighs on the other end of the phone. “S’all right. I’ll drive myself.”

_Dammit! I’m such a dumbass!_ “Benny, I’m sorry. I just... I just, I woke up late and then... Look, I’ll drive tomorrow, okay? I’m sorry...”

Benny chuckles at his nervousness. “No worries, brother. I understand. And, let’s just start over on Monday. Clean slate?”

“Yeah, okay.” Dean finishes with his tie and reaches for his jacket, fumbling to put it on while sandwiching the phone between his ear and his shoulder.

“But, Dean?”

“Yeah?”

Benny pauses before continuing. “I know you don’t want to talk to Charlie or me about what’s buggin’ you, but...” He hesitates, and Dean waits to hear what he has to say. “I dunno, man. I think you should talk to someone. You’re startin’ to worry us.”

Dean doesn’t respond immediately. He feels bad for worrying them, and he knows they’re right, but he can’t talk to anyone about this. He could lose his job. He could lose his friends, his family. He just wasn’t ready for any of that yet. “I’m sorry, Benny.” He’s quiet for a moment. “I’ll see you later at school.”

“See ya, brother,” he says and hangs up.

“Now, I’m definitely gonna be late,” Dean murmurs to himself as he finishes getting ready.

*****

Dean ends up getting to school around 7:25. After he parks, he pulls out his phone to text Cas, from whom he’s already received a few texts.

_I’m here._ 7:16

_Are you still coming?_ 7:22

_I understand if something came up or something... just let me know._ 7:23

Dean shakes his head. Cas worries too much. He replies to his texts with, _Sorry, I’m just running late. Heading in now_

Cas replies almost instantaneously. _Ok_

Dean heads into school, and he drops off his bags and jacket in his room before heading to the storage room. When he turns down the hallway, he sees Cas sitting on the floor in front of the door reading his phone. He looks up at Dean’s approach with a worried brow, but upon seeing Dean, that worry fades away and his eyes light up. Dean smiles. “Morning.”

“Hi,” Cas says dreamily. He clambers to his feet when Dean finally reaches him. “The door was locked.”

“Yeah, it locks automatically when the door closes.” Dean pulls out his keys and unlocks the door, flipping on the light as he walks into the room. Cas follows him in and closes the door behind him.

Cas shifts on his feet nervously, something Dean finds cute. “So, uh, what did you want to talk about?” There was that worry again, manifested in his face and laced in his voice.

Dean looks at his feet. “So you know how I’m really good friends with Ms. Bradbury?” Cas nods, unsure of where this is going. “Well, she’s uh, she’s getting married... She’s going to hyphenate her name with her partner’s last name.”

“Uh-huh...” Cas is so confused.

“And, well, I’m going to be her best man or maid of honor or whatever...” _Why can’t I just fucking say it?_ He sighs. “I met her fiance last night...” He closes his eyes and takes a settling breath. _Wow, why is this so hard? It’s really not that big a deal. Man up, Winchester._ “Anna Novak... that’s who she’s marrying.”

Cas is quiet for a long time. His eyes widen, then narrow. He opens his mouth a number of times before closing it again, unsure of what exactly he should say. Dean doesn’t know what to say either, so he just waits for Cas to figure out what he wants to say. “Dean,” he begins. “How... what...” Cas swallows. “What are we going to do?” Cas looks pleadingly at him as if he knows what Dean might say.

Dean shrugs and looks away from him again. “I dunno, Cas...” He thinks for a minute, trying so so desperately to think of something, anything, but he comes up blank. “We’re both going to be part of the wedding... some way or another...” Dean keeps his eyes fixed to the ground. “And... these people getting married... they mean the world to us, right?” Cas grunts his agreement. “It’d be selfish for us to lie... and it’d destroy them if they knew all this...”

Cas knows where this is going, and he starts shaking his head. But, Dean keeps looking at the floor. “I think...” he trails off, not wanting to finish his thought. But, dammit, he has to. “I think... I don’t think we can keep doing this.” Dean finally gets the guts to look up at Cas.

Tears roll down his cheeks as he shakes his head at Dean. He wipes his hands across his eyes and takes a deep settling breath. Then, he starts nodding. He sniffles and emits a noise that almost sounds like a laugh. He takes a deep breath again. “It was just sex, right?” Cas gives Dean a half-smile and a shrug before turning and leaving, slamming the door as he does so. Leaving Dean standing there with his mouth hanging open.

Dean blinks. His throat closes. His vision blurs. His knees go weak. And, he crumples to the floor, heaving. That was the another thing he could lose. Cas. He could lose Cas. He could and he just did.

And he isn’t ready. Not one bit. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW, I'm evil and I'm sorry. Please forgive me.   
> Hope you enjoyed it, though!


	7. Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Self-harm; parental abuse
> 
> Be safe, my readers!

Dean eventually braves the world outside the comforting solitaire of the storage room. He decides to change his lesson plans for the day, too distracted to really teach, he gives his classes a silent reading day to catch up on their books. His first few periods go by quickly and with no problems. Today, everyone just shuts up and follows his instructions. _Maybe they can tell I’m in a bad mood._

Fourth period rolls around, and Dean gets anxious. He really, really doesn’t want to see Cas right now. When the late bell rings and Cas isn’t there, he lets out a sigh of relief. He must have gone home or something, but why would he do that? _I dunno, maybe because you dumped him_ , a nagging voice inflicts the guilt he already feels. Dean sighs.

“Um, Mr. Winchester?” That’s Ben, raising his hand.

“Yes, Ben?”

“What are we doing for class today?” Ben and his classmates stare at Dean, patiently awaiting instruction.

“Oh, um, today, I’m giving you all a day to catch up on your reading. If you’re all caught up, you can either read ahead or work on another class, but no matter what you do, do it silently, okay?” The class nods their okays and gets to work.

Dean looks over at the stack of papers on his desk. He really doesn’t feel like grading, but anything is better than replaying the scene from this morning over and over again in his head. Anything is better than hearing those words in Cas’s voice on repeat. _It’s just sex right?_

With a sigh, he pulls the top paper off and starts grading it. He grades through fourth period and continues into lunch. He loses track of time, but he just keeps grading. He has to distract himself.

About five minutes before lunch is over, Charlie stops by his room before going back to her room. “Working through lunch?”

Dean doesn’t look up from the paper in front of him. “I’m behind,” he says.

“I can see that, but everyone needs a break, Dean.”

Dean lets out an exasperated sigh and drops his pen on his desk roughly. He pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes. “I just really need to get these graded. Sorry, I couldn’t make it to gossip hour with you and Benny.”

Charlie puts her hands up and shakes her head. “Whoa, whoa, Dean, what’s the matter?”

He shakes his head. “Nothing, I’m fine, Charlie.” He picks back up his pen and resumes grading, still refusing to look at Charlie.

Charlie walks over to the door. _Good, I really don’t want to talk right now_ , he thinks, assuming she’s leaving.

She slams the door. Hard. He jumps at the sound and looks up at Charlie, shocked.

“Cut the fucking bullshit,” she says coolly. “You are not okay. Don’t you think I would be able to tell the difference, Dean?” Dean opens his mouth to say something, but she holds up her hand. “You blow us off for game night. You snap at everybody at lunch. You meet my fiance, seem happy, and then suddenly, you’re _quiet_. You, Dean! _You_ are quiet. Before last night, I didn’t think you knew the meaning of the word. And, now, you’re mocking me and Benny for _worrying_ about you! You. Are. Not. Okay. Now, just admit it. And tell me what the hell is going on.” She takes a deep breath and looks at him expectantly. Only, Dean doesn’t know what to say. So, he doesn’t say anything. He lifts his shoulders and takes a deep breath in. He shakes his head and releases his breath. Charlie’s face falls. She turns to leave. “Give me a call when you’re ready to let me help you. Until then,” she pauses. “Until then, don’t talk to me.” She storms out of his room as the fifth period bell rings.

He stares at the open door for minutes after she’s gone. Letting everything sink in.

_What have I done?_

*****

The school day eventually ends, but Dean stays and continues grading. He only has four papers left, and he really doesn’t want to go home yet. He powers through the last four papers in two hours. When he’s done grading, he puts in all the grades, which takes another hour. Finally, he’s done. He leans back in his chair, feeling somewhat proud of himself. Then, everything he said to Cas, everything he did to Charlie comes flooding back into his mind, and that feeling of satisfaction goes away. He slams his computer closed and packs up to go home.

On the way home, Dean can’t stop thinking about Cas. _Why did I have to do that? Why did I break it off?_ He regrets it, and he shouldn’t. Like Cas said, it was just sex. At least, that’s all it _used_ to be. Cas is just a kid. He wasn’t even out to his parents yet. They could have never been public like Charlie and Anna. They couldn’t have gone on dates and lived together. They couldn’t have been normal. Because their relationship wasn’t _normal_. Dean is his teacher for fuck’s sake! He knew it couldn’t work in the long-run. He knew it. _Then, why am I so fucking depressed about this?_

Dean shakes his head at himself as he pulls into his apartment building’s parking lot. He gets out and heads upstairs to his place. He turns down his hallway and stops dead in his tracks. Sitting on his doorstep is Cas, who looks up when Dean gasps from the sight. A black eye decorates Cas’s left side of his face. His bottom lip is swollen. His nose is broken.

His wrists are bleeding. His fingers hold a razor blade.

And his eyes leak the tears that stream down his face.

Once Dean gets over his initial shock, he rushes to Cas’s side. “Cas! Oh my god, Cas! What happened, baby?” Cas heaves a breath and cries even harder. Dean pulls him to his chest. “Oh, Cas. I’m sorry. I’m so so so so sorry.” Cas holds on to Dean’s arms for dear life.

“Dean.” The word is strangled and quiet.

“Shhh,” Dean says and holds him tighter. “I’ve got you. It’s okay, I’m here. I’m here.” Dean closes his eyes and presses a kiss to the top of Cas’s head. After a few minutes, Cas’s breathing starts to return to normal. “Come on, let’s go inside, huh?” Cas pulls away enough to look at Dean.

“O-okay.”

Dean releases his hold, but his hands don’t leave Cas. He helps him up, and leads him inside. Cas limps into the apartment. “Here, let me help you, Cas.” Dean takes one of his arms and throws it over his shoulder. He takes him into the bedroom and helps him sit down. “Okay...” Dean looks him over again. It takes all of his self-control not to cry and not to scream in anger. _Whoever did this is going to pay_. Then, Dean notices Cas is still gripping the razor blade. “Hey, Cas, uh, why don’t you give me that?” Cas looks at him confused and then realizes what he means. He hands it over without resistance. “Just sit right there, okay? I’ll be right back.” Cas nods, and Dean goes back out to the main foyer of his apartment. He throws away the blade and grabs his bags from the hallway. He pushes them inside and is about to close the door when he sees Cas brought a bag--a big bag--with him. He grabs that too and then closes the door.

Before Dean goes back to the bedroom, he gets some hydrogen peroxide and other first-aid necessities from the bathroom. When he returns, Cas lights up. Dean places the stuff he brought with him next to Cas on the bed and kneels in front of him, inspecting his wounds. The cuts on his wrists are horizontal, thank goodness, but they’re deep. Dean decides to deal with them first. He first cleans the skin around the open wounds with wet gauze and mops up the blood. Then he douses a cotton ball with hydrogen peroxide. “This might sting a little.” Cas just grunts his acknowledgement. Dean dabs the ball on one of Cas’s wounds, and he flinches. “Sorry,” he says, but continues to clean the wounds. There’s three slashes on his left wrist and two on his right. Dean is treading in deep water now. _Why would Cas do something like this to himself? Was it because of what happened earlier? Was this all my fault?_

Once Dean is done cleaning the wounds with peroxide, he puts some ointment on each cut. Then, he bandages each wrist. Now that that’s done, he moves on to assess the damage done to Cas’s face. _Oh, his beautiful face..._

Dean douses a new cotton ball with peroxide and gets to work on his lip. Once that’s done, he cleans the dried blood from around his nose. “I think your nose could be broken... You should get it checked out by a doctor.” Cas already has bruising around the bridge of his nose and at the corners of his eyes, which usually means broken nose.

Cas shakes his head. “Not now, please.” He looks pleadingly at Dean.

“It’s okay. It doesn’t have to be now... Just some time in the near future, okay?” Cas nods. Thankfully, Dean knows how to temporarily splint a broken nose. After he’s done with that, he’s pretty much done. “Let me get you some ice for your eye.” Dean collects the dirty cotton balls and gauze and throws them away. Then he grabs the rest of the first-aid stuff so that he can drop it off in the bathroom on his way to the kitchen. Dean fills a bag with ice and wraps it in a hand towel for Cas. He returns to Cas with the ice and hands it to him.

Cas takes it and puts it against his eye. “Thanks, Dean.”

Dean sits down next to him on the bed. “Of course... You wanna tell me what happened?”

Cas sniffles. “Well, after this morning, I was kinda depressed. Mopey...” He sighs. “Anyway, I convinced my mom that I was sick, and she came and picked me up.” _How did this lead to you being beaten up?_ “She immediately knew I wasn’t sick. I begged her not to make me go back to school. She reluctantly agreed. But, she said I might as well do something useful for the day. So, she made me go pack up my room at my house cause we’re moving, ya know?” He pauses. Dean reaches out and holds Cas’s hand. “My dad was there, and we got into a fight... and somehow... somehow I let it slip.” Dean didn’t need to be told what _it_ was. He squeezes Cas’s hand. “And then...” Cas chokes and starts crying.

“Shh, I know the rest. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here.” Dean pulls him to him, and Cas collapses against him.

“He, he said... He said he couldn’t have two. He said he’d beat it out of me if he had to...” Dean pulls him closer, if that were even possible. “My mom didn’t say anything. She didn’t _do_ anything. She just sat in the other room.” He heaves and cries some more. Dean rubs his back in soothing circles. “Then, then, he--he said to get out. To leave... So, I grabbed my bag of clothes and ran... and somehow, I ended up here.”

Dean presses a kiss to the top of his head again. “You’re safe here, you know that.”

“But, we’re not... we’re not together, Dean. It’s not fair of me to--”

“Cas.” He pulls away from Dean, pushing him away slightly. “Cas, look at me. _Look at me_.” Reluctantly, Cas meets Dean’s gaze. “I fucked up, okay? Nothing, _nothing_ I said this morning changes how much I care about you, Cas. Nothing.” Tears roll down Cas’s cheeks. “You were wrong this morning... It wasn’t just sex. It isn’t.” Dean shakes his head. “You had every right, _every right_ to come here tonight, okay? Whether we’re together or not. You should feel safe here no matter what.” Dean opens his arms to him, and Cas collapses in on him again.

“Dean, I’m sorry--”

“Cas, what did we talk about with the incessant apologies?” Cas emits somewhat of a laugh and hugs Dean closer, not saying anything more.

After a few minutes, Cas’s breathing once again returns to normal, and he stops crying. “Do you want something to eat?” Cas looks up at Dean.

“Like what?”

Dean thinks. “What do you want?”

Cas smiles bashfully. “A grilled cheese?”

Dean’s teacher mode kicks in. “You asking me or telling me?”

“Telling you.”

“One delicious grilled cheese coming up!” Cas releases Dean as he gets up to make it. “Why don’t you change into some more comfy clothes and get under the covers. You’ll be more comfortable.” Cas nods and gets up, following Dean’s instructions.

Dean goes into the kitchen. He rummages through his fridge and finds some good cheese. Cas doesn’t like bacon, so Dean goes for tomato instead. He fires up the stove and greases up the pan with butter--so much butter Julia Child would be proud. Once it’s hot, he puts one slice of bread down, followed by cheese, then tomato, another slice of cheese, and then the second slice of bread. He lets it grill on that side for a good couple of minutes, and then he flips it. _Nice_ , he thinks, _perfectly brown_. He smiles to himself and gets a plat out for Cas. Then, he gets a cup down and pours Cas some water too. Once he’s done with all that, the grilled cheese seems done. Dean flips it to make sure, and it is, so he puts it on the plate, turns off the stove, and carries the meal back to the bedroom.

Cas is snuggled up against the headboard. “Is that my shirt?” Dean asks.

Cas turns red. “Yeah... My bag is out there, and I just... yeah.”

Dean laughs. “Haha, it’s okay.” He places the water on the bed table next to Cas and hands him the sandwich.

“Looks delicious. Thanks,” Cas says.

Dean smiles. “Of course, sugar.” Cas digs in and moans from the taste. Dean laughs again. “Want to watch some TV?” Cas nods. “What do you like?” Dean turns on the TV as he rounds the corner of the bed, standing on the other side.

Cas swallows. “Anything, really.”

“Well, that’s helpful.” Dean gets an idea. “How about a movie?” Cas nods, and Dean goes to his movie collection to pick out the movie he wants.  He pops it in the player and presses play.

Cas laughs when the title sequence starts. “Haha, seriously? Is this because of my paper?” Dean nods.

“I’ve been craving to watch Fellowship of the Ring since I read it.” Cas laughs again. “Is this okay?”

“Haha, yeah, yeah, go ahead.” Dean selects play, and the movie starts. Before Dean gets too comfortable, he decides to change out of his work clothes first. He sheds his shirt and starts on his pants, looking through his closet as he does for sleeping clothes. He usually just sleeps with boxers and nothing else, but he guesses he should wear a shirt or something.

A minute later, Dean is standing in nothing but his boxers, staring at his closet. No sleeping clothes. _How do I not own any pajamas?_ “I’m fine with you dressed just like that,” Cas says. Dean looks over at him, but his eyes are glued to the screen, not even looking at Dean.

Dean cracks a grin and decides to forget about pajamas. He walks back over to the bed, and seeing that Cas is done with his food, Dean takes the plate and carries it back to the kitchen. On his way back, he locks up for the night.

Finally, he joins Cas in watching Lord of the Rings. Once Dean is situated next to Cas, Cas curls up close to him, resting his head on Dean’s chest. Dean smiles softly and places his arm around him.

About and hour and forty minutes in, Cas falls asleep. Dean doesn’t notice until the part where Boromir gets hit, and he looks down to see Cas’s reaction only to find him snoring. It only makes Dean smile. Dean finishes the movie and turns off the TV when it’s over. Then, he shifts so that he’s lying down, making Cas stir. Cas turns over on his side, giving Dean room to move. Dean re-situates himself and falls asleep quickly after that.

*****

“You’re not my son.”

“Dad, please, please, don’t do this.”

“You think you can fuck boys and expect me to support that?”

“Dad--” John delivers a blow to the side of Dean’s face, knocking him into the wall.

“I’m sick of you disobeying me.” John follows up his punch with a knee to the stomach. Dean doubles over.

“Please, Dad... Please...”

“Is that how you beg for their cocks? Huh, Dean? Do you beg for it?” He knees him again. Dean grunts from the pain, biting his tongue. The bitter taste of blood fills his mouth.

“I’m sorry...”

“Sorry won’t fix this,” he says as he shoves Dean into the table in front of him. Dean hits it and falls over on to the ground. He hits his head upon impact. The shadow of his father covers him. “You can never fix this.”

“I don’t want to fix it.” Dean manages to get it out.

John kicks him in the side over and over again. Somewhere in the distance, though, Dean hears his name...

“Dean! Dean! _Dean!_ Wake up!”

Dean’s eyes snap open. His fists are gripping the sheets, and the sheets around him are wet with sweat. His breathing is ragged and trying. His eyes dart around the room, looking for his father. “Dean?” Dean flinches from his name and looks to the person lying next to him. Cas looks worried, scared even.

Slowly, very very slowly, Dean comes back to reality. He releases the sheets from his death grip and relaxes his tensed body. When he feels up to it, he sits up, pushing away the covers. He swings his legs over the side of the bed, turning away from Cas. “I didn’t mean to wake you... Sorry, Cas.” Dean looks over at the clock next to his bed. It’s nearly three in the morning.

“Dean, are you okay?”

Dean nods, still trying to regain a sense of where he is and what he’s doing.

“Do you... do you wanna talk about it?”

Dean sighs and shakes his head. He puts his head in his hands. “It was just a nightmare. I’m okay.”

“Dean... you don’t have to lie to me... I told you what happened to me... You can tell me about your dream.”

Dean sighs and picks up his head. He’s right. Keeping his back turned, Dean begins his story. “When I came out to my dad, I had a very similar experience to you.” Dean’s voice is shaky. He’s never told anyone about this. Not Benny. Not Charlie. Not even Sam. “He spewed insults and kicked my teeth in, quite literally actually.” Dean pauses, not sure if he should continue. “I was twenty-two. It had been a while since he’d... well, let’s just say, it wasn’t the first time.” Dean hadn’t noticed Cas moving, but suddenly, Cas is behind Dean, pressing kisses along his shoulder blades. Dean closes his eyes. _Damn, that feels good_. “It started when I was about nine... He would get drunk. I would do something that pissed him off, and he’d... well, you know. When I was thirteen, Sam, my brother, did something that really had Dad ticked. Sam, always the one to purposely piss Dad off. Anyway, I saw the look. The one that said Sam was about to get a beating, his first one too. But, I wouldn’t let him. I took it for him. From then on, I took everything. I didn’t let Dad lay one hand on Sammy.” Dean shakes his head. “I would have hated myself if I let him hurt him. Dad was good at hiding it too. Stomach blows, avoided the face. That way, no one knew. Not Sammy, not Mom. No one. When I moved out for college, I made sure to make Sam promise me he’d call me every day. I didn’t want my dad to pick up with him just because I wasn’t around. As far as I could tell, Dad never hit Sammy.” Dean pauses, not sure where to go from there. “Then after I told him I was bi... that was the last of it. I never spoke to him again. He died about six years later. Didn’t even attend the funeral.” Dean wipes his runny nose. _Don’t go crying on me now_ , he thinks to himself.

Cas is quiet. All he does is press comforting kisses along Dean’s back and rub his arms. Dean sighs and leans into the gentle caresses. After a few moments of silence, Cas says, “I wish you hadn’t had to go through that.”

Dean shrugs. “I had a support group. Charlie was there for me. She may not have known what was going on, but her being friends with me was enough. And, I always had Sammy too.”

“I’m glad,” Cas whispers. He continues his caresses until Dean has cooled down some.

Dean turns back to Cas. “I guess your experience kinda triggered something... I haven’t had that nightmare in years.” Cas looks like he’s about to apologize, and Dean keeps going before he has the chance. “No, no, Cas, I’m not saying it’s your fault. If you hadn’t been here, I wouldn’t have woken up so easily. And I definitely wouldn’t be able to go to sleep again.” Cas smiles and yawns. “Speaking of which, let’s get to that. We have school tomorrow.” Cas groans, but lies back down. Dean slides back under the covers next to him, and Cas snuggles up to him again. Dean hugs him close and eventually drifts back to sleep with the scent of Cas’s hair filling his nose.

 

 


	8. Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for all the comments and kudos!!! Ya'll are the best!!!  
> Also, I think you guys should start to expect me to post chapter(s) on the weekends because I'm working on school shit during the week, so I'll continue to update 1-2 times a week, and it'll most likely be on the weekends.  
> Happy reading!!  
> ~thesherlockianwhojustcant

Dean’s alarm wakes him up at 6:30. He groans as he rolls over to turn it off. He lies in bed for a few moments, just thinking about yesterday. It started out with him making a decision he later regretted, and it ended with him telling Cas something he’s never told anyone else before. _How the hell did that happen?_

He rubs his eyes and sits up, sighing. He looks over at Cas sleeping next to him. He looks so peaceful, so sweet. Dean smiles a worried smile. Worried because what they’re doing is wrong. Worried because he’s not sure he knows what he’s doing. Worried because his best friend is marrying Cas’s sister. Worried because he has to keep hiding this thing with Cas.

And, worried because he no longer wants to call it _this thing with Cas_.

He sighs and leans forward, dropping his head in his hands. _Gah, what am I doing?_ He shakes his head as he gets out of bed to go take a shower. He takes his time in the hot spray, letting it slowly burn his skin. After about twenty minutes of just standing there, he finally decides to actually clean himself. Five minutes later, he steps out of the shower and dries himself off. He walks back to the bedroom to find that Cas is still asleep. Dean grins and gets dressed. It’s Friday, so he can dress a little more casually today than normal. He goes for a pair of jeans, a T-shirt, and a button down over it. When he’s done getting dressed, he puts the coffee on and goes back to wake up Cas. He sits on the bed next to him and gently nudges Cas’s shoulder. Cas groans. “Cas, you should probably get up... It’s almost 7:15.”

Cas turns over on his back and looks up at Dean. Dean clenches his jaw, and Cas asks, “How bad is it?”

Dean gives him a sad smile. “It’s not great...”

He groans again and smothers his face in a pillow. “Uggghhhh.”

Dean rubs his back a little. “It’s okay, Cas. The first day is always the worst... It’ll be better tomorrow.”

Cas picks up his head again. “But, what am I supposed to tell people, Dean?”

Dean sighs. _The kid’s got a point._ “Anything you want. Tell ‘em you got mugged or got into a fight. Tell people they should see the other guy.”

Cas huffs out a small laugh. “Not gonna happen, Dean.”

“Well, then what do you suggest, sugar?”

Cas smiles softly at Dean’s nickname. He’s always liked that one. “Maybe I could just stay home from school...?”

Dean nods. “If that’s what you want, okay. But, you’re going on Monday, okay? I don’t want you to miss too much school.”

“Fine.”

Dean smiles. “So, uh, you know how to work the TV, right?” Cas nods his of course. “Okay... Um... Movies are in the living room in chest-coffee table. Fridge is stocked with crappy food. Help yourself to it... Um... Yeah, I think that’s about it. You need anything before I go? I need to head out?” Cas purses his lips in thought and shakes his head. “Okay, then, I’ll see ya later, then. Text me if you need anything.” Dean stands up from the bed, heading out, but Cas catches his wrist. Dean turns back. “Yeah?” Cas pulls him back down to sit next to him. He sits up and hugs Dean tightly. A little shocked, Dean takes a second to react. But, quickly he hugs Cas back just as tightly.

“I’ll see you later, Dean,” Cas whispers in his ear.

Dean squeezes him before releasing him altogether. “You’re safe here, remember that,” he says. Cas nods. “Okay, I’ll see ya later.”

Dean gets up and grabs a cup of coffee, his bags, and his keys before leaving. As he’s walking down the stairs to his car, he gets a phone call. He answers. “Hello?”

“Dean, are you on your way to school?” Charlie asks.

He’s kind of surprised she’s calling because last they spoke, he wasn’t supposed to talk to her. “Um, yeah. Good morning to you too.”

Charlie doesn’t laugh. “Okay good. I need to talk to you when you get here. Bye.”

“Whoa, whoa! Charlie!”

She sighs. “What?”

“Are you okay? What’s going on?” Dean gets to his car and puts all his shit inside and gets in.

Charlie sighs again. “I’m just... I’m worried about Anna.”

Dean bites his lip. “Why?”

“She got a call from her dad last night,” Dean holds his breath. “...she couldn’t really understand everything he was saying because he was screaming so loud. He was really really angry about something. She said that her parents are divorcing, which she only just found out about. And, now she’s worried about her brother... You know that kid, uh, Castiel? He’s in your class, right?” Dean closes his eyes.

“Uh-huh.” That’s all he can say without giving away his emotions.

“Can you send him to my room after class or something? I’d really like to talk to him, make sure he’s okay... For Anna.”

 _Shit, how do I cover this?_ “Um, sure... But, uh, he wasn’t there yesterday, so he may not be here today...”

She sighs again. “Okay, well, if he is there, just send him my way, please.”

“Will do. See ya soon.”

“See ya,” she says and hangs up.

Dean takes a deep breath. _Fuck_. He shakes his head and starts the car, heading to school.

*****

Dean doesn’t get a chance to talk to Charlie before classes start, so he tries to push their conversation to the back of his mind for his classes. Fridays are always hard because his students are always so eager to get out for the weekend, and it just gets worse as the day goes on. But, today, his classes aren’t as bad as usual. They go by rather smoothly. He only had to get on to one kid in fourth period for sleeping, but every other class before lunch was pretty good.

Once lunchtime rolls around, Dean decides to go tell Charlie that Cas isn’t at school today. When he walks into her room, she’s speaking with a student, but she stops to acknowledge Dean. “Yes, Mr. Winchester? Is there something you need?”

“It can wait,” he says in an effort to let her finish her conversation with her student first.

Charlie doesn’t take it. “No, no, you go ahead.”

“Uh, okay. Castiel isn’t here today, so he can’t come by to see you.”

“Okay, thank you for letting me know,” she says, and then she turns back to her student. “I’m sorry, Suzie, where were we?”

They resume their conversation, and Dean takes the hint to leave. He heads to the cafeteria for lunch. He decides on some chicken fingers and a water-- _too bad they don’t have any Whiskey_ , he thinks. He finds Benny and sits down next to him. “Hey, man, sorry about being a floppy driver this week,” he says.

Benny waves him off. “No worries. If I were you, I’d be more worried about fixing things with whatever is going on with Charlie. She is _pissed_.”

Dean sighs. “I know, I know... I’m just... I’m not exactly sure what I’ve done wrong.” _Well, I do know, she just doesn’t know._

Benny snorts. “Dean. She’s known you your whole life, right?” Dean nods. “Okay, well, let me put it this way,” he says, putting an arm around Dean’s shoulder. “I've known you since college, and even _I_  can tell pretty easily when you’re hidin something. How easy do you imagine it is for her? How hurt do you think she feels knowing you’re not tellin her something?” Benny’s words inflict the guilt Dean was already feeling. He shakes his head.

Dean’s about to say something else to Benny in response when he remembers something. Charlie kept him in the dark for _two years_ , and now she’s getting married out of the blue. Sure, they had a pretty decent excuse as to why they kept it quiet, but Dean wouldn’t have said shit. He of all people knew what it was like to have unsupportive parents when it comes to sexuality. And, even though, Charlie doesn’t know the whole story, she knows Dean didn’t talk to John because he disowned him. She knows that, so why would she keep her relationship a secret? _Why, why, why?_ Dean turns from feeling guilty to feeling angry. “Yeah, well, she’s kept her fair share of secrets. I think I’m entitled to one.”

Benny doesn’t say anything to that. He just removes his arm from Dean’s shoulder and resumes eating. They don’t say anything else for the rest of lunch. Towards the end, Dean gets up and throws away his trash, still fuming over Charlie’s hypocritical anger towards him. He walks back to his room. But, before he gets there, before he makes a fully conscious decision to do so, he stops by Charlie’s room, finding her eating a sandwich at her desk. He walks in and stops just before her desk.

She doesn’t look up. “I don’t want to talk to you, Dean. What I said the other day, still holds.”

Dean purses his lips and nods. “What if I tell you that I want to tell you what’s going on?” That gets her attention, and she looks up at him, waiting for him to continue. “You wanna know why I’m acting all strange? Huh?” She nods. “Well, I’m sorry. Not gonna tell you. Not until you explain why--and I want the truth this time--you kept Anna a secret from me for two _fucking_ years. Tell me why you couldn’t tell your best friend you were falling in love.”

“I already told you tha--”

He cuts her off. “You _knew_ I would understand her predicament. You know I wouldn’t have said a word to anyone. What’s the real reason, Charlie? Come on.”

Her eyes grow wide, and she opens her mouth to respond. But, much like Dean the other day, she doesn’t say anything. She blinks and closes her mouth. She shakes her head. “I... Dean, I just... I guess it just never came up...”

Dean nods an exaggerated nod, and says, “ _Oh_ , that makes so much sense. You know, when I ask you if you’ve met anyone lately or if you’re seeing anyone, I don’t really mean it. I’m just filling the air with words.” He shrugs sarcastically. “Come _on_ , Charlie. Tell me why.”

She shakes her head again, averting her eyes. “I...” she sighs. “I just can’t.”

Her answer shocks him. “You can’t tell me?” She nods. “I find that hard to believe, Charlie, I really do, but you know what? It’s a good enough answer for me, so why don’t I tell you what exactly is going on with me?” He waits for her to make eye contact again. Then, he looks her dead in the eyes and says, “Sorry, but I can’t.”

Then, he walks out of the room, just as the fifth period bell rings.

 *****

Dean stays mad for the rest of the day. Thank goodness his students are bearable today, otherwise he’d be snapping at them left and right. When that final bell rings, he doesn’t think twice about leaving immediately if not sooner. He collects his things and practically jogs to his car. He throws his stuff in the back seat and gets in, slamming the door after him. He takes a deep breath and lays his head on the steering wheel. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to do that,” he says, soothing the inanimate object. He’s just so frustrated. He has had the same question swimming through his head all day. _How does Charlie expect me to tell her my secret when she kept hers from me for two years?_ He knows deep down that Charlie is justified in keeping it from him, but he also knows that he has a good reason too. Now, albeit it’s a selfish reason, but Charlie’s reason must also be selfish because he knows, he _knows_ it’s not because Anna wasn’t out yet. He just knows that’s a lie. He can just _tell_.

He doesn’t know, though, why it’s getting to him so much. The other night at dinner, he felt happy for them. He really did, but the whole time, he also felt sick to the stomach. Whenever they hugged, kissed, showed any kind of affection toward each other, he had to look away because that sickness intensified. And, it’s not like he’s homophobic--like come on-- but there was something that made him unable to look at them. _What the hell is wrong with me?_

Shaking his head, Dean starts the car and drives home. In order to distract himself from the horrid day he’s had, he puts on some Metallica and sings along the whole way home. It helps him relax and forget about the fight with Charlie. It distracts him from everything stressful in his life, and he can just breathe.

He pulls into his building’s parking lot and decides to leave his papers in the car. _It’s Friday_ , he thinks, _screw work_. He jogs up the two flights of stairs and walks down the hallway to his apartment. He walks in and goes straight back to the bedroom to find Cas laying in bed watching TV.

“Hey, Dean, how was--”

Dean cuts him off with sloppy kiss, taking the poor guy by surprise. He quickly relaxes into it, though and gets lost in the feel of Dean’s lips on his. Dean pulls back, panting slightly. “Sorry. Tough day,” he says and leans his forehead against Cas’s.

Cas smiles softly. “You don’t have to apologize.”

“Ha, I guess I don’t.” Dean pauses. “Have you talked to your sister?”

Cas frowns. “You mean about yesterday?” Dean nods. “No... I came straight here... I know I should call her and tell her about what’s going on, but...”

Dean pulls back a little more and rubs Cas’s shoulders. “You don’t _have_ to tell her everything that happened... You can tell her everything you’re comfortable telling her. But, I think you should call her to tell her you’re okay. Charlie told me your dad called her last night screaming at her. And, now she’s worried about you...”

Worry decorates Cas’s face. “Yeah, I should call her, then. I should have called her last night... I should have gone to her and told her everything, but...” Cas trails off.

“It’s okay, Cas. You don’t owe the truth to anyone, not even me.”

Cas looks up at him. “I’ve been lying to my sister for years, but I can’t seem to lie to you.” A pang hits Dean’s chest. “Could you get me my phone? It’s charging in the kitchen.”

Dean smiles. “Of course.” He gets up to get his phone, and he returns moments later with it in hand. He gives it to Cas. “You want me to stay, or do you want me to wait in the living room until your done?”

“Well, you already know everything.”

“Okay, then,” Dean says and sits next to him on the bed.

Cas dials his sister’s number and puts the phone up to his ear. Dean hears her eager hello. “Hey, Anna... No, no, look. I’m fine. I promise... What did he say?... Well... Anna, the thing is... I’m gay... Yeah, he kinda freaked... No, look, I’m okay. I moved out, though... Who am I staying with? Um...” He looks to Dean for help, who really can’t do anything but shrug. Cas waves him off and shakes his head. “I’m just staying with a friend, Anna... No, no, you don’t need to come get me. I’m perfectly welcome... You don’t need to be worrying about me... Anna, no, okay? I’m fine here. I’m okay, I promise... You want to talk to his parents?” He looks at Dean again.

“They’re not here,” he whispers.

“They’re not home, Anna...” Cas leans his head back against the headboard as his sister talks his ear off. “Look, Anna, I told you, I am okay. All right? I’m fine here... What? How did you know I didn’t go to school?... I’m just not feeling very well. I’m kinda sick, no big deal... Come on, Anna, please, just drop it. I’m okay, all right?... Yes, I’ll call you if I need anything, I promise... Yes, I’m sure they’re okay with me staying here... Yes, yes, yes, _Anna_! I’m fine! Please, just don’t worry about me, okay? I’m _eighteen_ , for crying outloud!... Okay, yes... Yeah, love you too. Bye.” Cas hangs up and sighs. “That was stressful.”

“What did she say?”

“Well, as you could probably figure out, she was trying to convince me that I should come live with her so that I wouldn’t be bothersome to another family. And then, she wanted to talk to the parents to make sure. And then, she kept asking to make sure I was okay... You know, big sibling stuff.”

Dean nods; he knows too well. “Yeah, I think I’ve got some idea.” Cas smiles at him.

“So, why was your day so tough?”

Dean shakes his head. “I’m in a fight with Charlie... She knows I’m hiding something from her, and she’s annoyed that I won’t tell her. But, the thing is, she kept her relationship with your sister from me for two years. _Two years_ , Cas!” He shakes his head again. “I just think it’s kinda hypocritical of her, ya know?” Cas nods in support. “And, I dunno, but I’m just annoyed with her and I feel kinda hurt... We’ve never really fought before, so it’s kind of a new thing.”

“You guys’ll get through it. I know it,” Cas says reassuringly.

Dean smiles sadly. “Thanks, Cas. We’ll see.” Dean smiles a little wider, a little mischieviously. “So, uh, where were we before I so _rudely_ interrupted our activities?” Dean leans closer to Cas, who can’t help but smile and turn beet-red.

Dean kisses Cas again, this time more passionately than sloppy. Cas responds eagerly and tangles his fingers in Dean’s hair, pulling him closer. _Love it when he does that,_ Dean thinks. He pushes his tongue into Cas’s mouth, and he groans when Cas slips his tongue into Dean’s mouth too. Dean breaks the kiss to move down to Cas’s neck, sucking on his pulse-point. Cas gasps. Dean kisses across to the other side of his neck and sucks on that same spot. Cad grips his hair tightly.

Dean rubs his hands up under Cas’s, or rather his shirt, and pushes the fabric up, exposing his chest. Dean moves down to lick across the younger man’s chest, and Cas groans. “Dean, please...”

Dean sits up, panting. “I know, baby, I know.” He stands up, takes off his shirt and opens the bedside table, getting the lube and condom out. Cas, taking the hint, sheds his shirt and boxers. Dean finishes taking the rest of his clothes off. He slides into bed next to Cas, under the covers. Then, he takes Cas’s face in his hands and gently rubs the bruises on his face. “Oh, Cas,” he says. “I’m so sorry...” Cas frowns in confusion. “I’m sorry for what happened to you. I’m sorry for what I did yesterday... If I had just not done anything, if I had just--”

Cas cuts him off. “It’s not your fault, Dean. What happened yesterday was going to happen, no matter what. It may not have happened yesterday, but it would have happened eventually.” Cas pauses. “Now, you gonna fuck me or what?”

Dean smiles. _Pushy today aren’t we?_ “What’s the magic word, sugar?”

“Please fuck me, Mr. Winchester.”

Dean groans and rolls on top of Cas, kissing him roughly. He grinds himself against Cas, their erections rubbing together, but the friction is nowhere near to enough. Dean breaks the kiss, panting again. He reaches for the lube and preps his fingers. Cas starts to turn over, but Dean pushes him back. “No, no, stay on your back, just pull up your knees.” Cas does as he’s told, and once Dean is done lubing up his fingers, he presses a finger against Cas’s rim. He groans as Dean pushes past the rim. Once he thinks Cas is relaxed enough, Dean picks up the pace with his single digit until he finds Cas’s sweet spot. Then, he adds a second finger scissoring Cas open. Cas cries out from the pleasure, and Dean quickly adds a third finger.

“ _God_ , Dean, I’m-- Ah, _fuck_...” Dean pushes in with a fourth finger, cutting him off.

“Don’t let me distract you, babe.”

“I-I...I can’t last much longer, please--ah shit-- _please_...”

Dean chuckles. “Well, since you said please.” He pulls out his fingers and rips open the condom and slips it on. He lubes himself up quickly, and then, he lines himself up, pushing in gently.

Cas looks him in the eye and says, “Come on, just fuck me already. _Please_.”

And with that, Dean shoves home. Both of them release a groan. “Jesus, Cas, so tight.”

“ _Hnnggg_ ,” is all Cas can say.

Dean sets a fast pace, fucking Cas just like he asked him to. Eventually, Cas drops his knees and holds on to Dean, pulling him closer. Cas starts rolling his hips upward, meeting Dean’s downward thrusts. _God damn, where the hell did he learn how to do that?_ “Fuck, Cas...” Cas runs his hands down Dean’s back and grips his ass, yanking him deeper. “ _Shit_.” Dean pauses his thrusting briefly to collapse against Cas to smash their lips together. Cas responds, pulling on Dean’s hair again. And, even though he’s really enjoying this little side makeout session, Cas needs Dean to move, _now_. So, he starts rolling his hips again without breaking the kiss. Dean gets the hint and starts thrusting again. At his new angle, Dean can’t help but break the kiss and moan from the newfound friction.

“Dean, I’m close... Please...”

“Me--me too, baby... what d’ya need?”

Panting, Cas startles Dean with his response. “Just your eyes...”

Dean looks at Cas, somewhat confused. Then he gets it when his eyes meet Cas’s startling blue ones. Dean picks up his pace, lifting Cas’s hips into his thrusts. “Come on, Cas, we’re almost there... _Fuck_ , come on...” Unable to look away, Dean keeps eye contact with Cas. After  few thrusts at Dean’s new pace, Cas starts to pulse around him. “That’s it, Cas, come for me, come on.”

Cas thrusts up and meets Dean’s next and final thrust, and they both cry out. “ _Dean_!”

“Fuck, _Cas_!”

They climax together, looking into each other’s eyes. They hold and caress each other until the shivers work their way through their bodies. Dean collapses on Cas, burying his face in his neck. He wriggles his hands under Cas’s body and hugs him close. They lay like that for a good five minutes or so. Then, Dean sits up, and disposes of the condom and cleans Cas up.

After he’s done with that, Dean lays down next to Cas and pulls him close. Cas snuggles up close to Dean and pulls the covers up over his shoulder. Dean pulls him closer. “You cold?”

Cas shakes his head. “No, just like the covers,” he says, yawning.

Dean chuckles at his adorableness. “Thousand thread count.” Cas chuckles but doesn’t say anything. Dean looks down at him to find his eyes closed. _I guess it’s a good time for a nap_ , he thinks. Dean sinks lower into the bed and hugs Cas closer, but he doesn’t fall asleep right away. He stays up for a little while, just thinking. It’s early in the day, only about four o’clock. If they wake up at a reasonable time, maybe they could go for some dinner or something. _I bet Cas would like that. We could go to an Italian place or something... Maybe even Harvelle’s. I think Jo would--_

He cuts himself off from his thoughts. _No, I can’t do that_. He couldn’t introduce Cas as his...whatever he is. He’s his student. He can’t hang out with him. He can’t date him. Hell, he can’t even fuck him. He thinks of Charlie and Anna again. That sickening feeling rises through his throat at just the thought of them holding hands in public. _Why does it fucking bother me so much?_

His heart stutters when the answer runs through his mind.

 _I’m fucking jealous_. Dean subconsciously pulls Cas closer. He can’t do this in public. He can’t touch him. He can’t call him 'sugar'. He even has to be careful about ‘Cas’ because it’s a nickname he gave him; his friends don’t call him that. He can’t hold his hand. He can’t kiss him. He can’t smile at him too widely. He can’t make eye contact for too long. He can’t talk to him for too long. He can’t eat dinner with him. He can’t _be_ with him.

Now, another sickening feeling works its way through to his chest. A sickening pain fills his chest, and suddenly Dean can’t breathe. And, then, he’s breathing too fast. _What the hell is happening?_ All he can do is hug Cas closer and breathe in the scent of his hair. It calms him, and his breathing returns to normal. He starts to think straight again. _What am I gonna do?_ He looks down at Cas sleeping on his chest. His bruises are dark purple and yellow today, and the sight twists Dean’s gut. But, then, Dean looks more closely. Cas’s lips are curved upward. He’s smiling. Cas, the kid who got beaten and kicked out by his father, is _smiling_. Because of Dean. Because Dean made him happy. Dean smiles sadly. To hell with public affection. This is all he needs. Cas next to him, smiling.

 _Besides_ , Dean thinks, _graduation is only eight months away._

 


	9. Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a little late, but oh well! It's a longer chapter than normal, lots of fluff and some smut at the end, not a lot of plot. But, there will be plot stuff in the next chapter, so don't worry! Enjoy!!!!
> 
> And, as always thanks for the kudos and the comments!!! It's much appreciated!

Dean wakes up to someone banging on his door. He looks over at the clock, and he finds it’s only 6:40. Cas stirs as he gets up and pulls on his boxers. “Just stay here. I’m gonna go see who it is.”

“Can do,” Cas says and turns over, trying to go back to sleep.

Dean chuckles and goes out to answer the door. Before opening it, he looks through the peephole. “What the hell?” He opens the door.

“Hey, Dean. Mind if I come in?” Jo says as she waltzes in past him.

“Um...” Dean is shocked to see her, and he’s at a loss for words. “Um, Jo, what are you doing here?”

Jo looks him up and down. “Why are you in your boxers?” She steps closer looking at his hair more closely. “Were you sleeping?” She looks toward the bedroom. “Do you have someone here?” She wiggles her eyebrows at him.

Dean blinks and shakes his head, exasperated by all her questions. “Jo, what the hell are you doing here?”

She looks up at him. “Oh, um. I dunno. I’m bored. I was going to see if you wanted to go out.”

Dean raises his eyebrows and huffs out a laugh. “Haven’t you ever heard of a phone?”

“I tried to call you, but you didn’t answer.”

“So you just came over here?”

“It’s never really been a problem before...” Jo looks him over again. “Seriously, why are you in your boxers?”

“I was just taking a nap.”

Jo nods her head slowly. She starts venturing to his room. He steps in front of her, blocking her path. She looks up at him and laughs. “Dean, you dog. It’s not even seven yet. Teach me your ways, man.”

Dean shakes his head and laughs at her. “Well, I’m kinda... ya know, busy, so if you wouldn’t mind...” he says, gesturing to the door.

She smiles at him. “Haha, of course. I understand. Sorry for interrupting, tell her I’m sorry.”

“Him,” he corrects her.

She chuckles as she heads out the door. “Well, then tell him I’m sorry. See ya later, Dean. Gimme a call later, though. We need to go out some time.”

“Will do. I’ll swing by Harvelle’s some time soon.”

Jo’s face brightens with an idea. “Why don’t you and your guy come for dinner tonight?” She asks excitedly.

Dean’s face darkens. “I dunno... Maybe not tonight.”

Jo stumbles for words, somewhat surprised by his answer. “Okay... maybe next time, then.”

“Yeah, maybe. Have fun tonight, Jo.”

“You too,” she says and leaves.

He closes the door after her and locks it. When he turns to go back to bed, he finds Cas emerging from the bedroom, hair tousled and eyes half open. He’s wearing Dean’s T-shirt and his boxers. He looks up at Dean, yawns, and asks, “Who was that?”

“Just my friend, Jo. She wanted to see if I wanted to go out, but I said I was otherwise occupied.”

Cas smiles. “Well, I don’t know if hanging with me will be much better than going out with your friend,” he says as he shuffles over to the couch.

Dean walks over and joins him. He shrugs. “There’s plenty we can do.” He pauses, coming up blank. “What are you in the mood to do?”

Cas thinks for a minute before he answers. He shrugs and says, “I don’t know...”

Dean shakes his head. “Well, that’s helpful.” Cas laughs. “You hungry?” Cas nods. “What do you want for dinner?”

“Take out?”

“Like Chinese?” Cas nods. “Okay, yeah, I know this place that delivers. They’re pretty good. Let me get the menu.” Dean gets up and walks to the kitchen in search of the menu. After rummaging around in a few drawers, he finds it and brings it back to the living room with him. He hands it to Cas. “I know what I’m gonna get, so why don’t you just give it a look and see if there’s anything you want.” Dean pulls out his phone and scrolls through his contacts, knowing he has the number for the restaurant in his phone somewhere.

“Can I get a number seven and a side of wonton soup?”

Dean smiles at his phone. “Of course, let me call them real quick,” he says. He dials the number and waits for the old Chinese woman to answer. “Hi, yes, I’d like to make an order for delivery, please... yes, this is Dean... Haha, I’m doing well, how are you?... Good, yes, well, I’d like two number sevens and two orders of wonton soup... Yes, two... Thank you... I’ll pay cash... Thanks.” He hangs up.

“You’re getting the same thing?”

Dean nods. “Yup, can’t say no to beef lo mein and wonton soup.”

Cas chuckles. “Nope, definitely impossible to do that.”

Dean chuckles and settles back down on the couch. “So, other than eat dinner and go to sleep, what do you want to do tonight?”

Cas makes a face--a very cute face according to Dean. “Why do I have to decide?”

Dean shakes his head. “You’re the guest here... Besides, I chose what to do last night.” He gives Cas a pointed look.

Cas sighs. “Fine, I’ll choose.” He thinks for a minute. He takes a minute to look around Dean’s living room. Overall, his apartment is kind of small, just a living room, bedroom, and a bathroom. But, for the most part, it’s nice. He has two bookshelves in the living room full of books and movies. Cas spots something and gets up to look at it, unsure if it’s actually what he thinks it is. “Is this a... Oh my god, do you play cribbage?” He turns to look at Dean with a look of excitement on his face.

Dean feels his own face fill with excitement. “Yes, do you?” Cas nods enthusiastically. “Really? I’ve never met anyone that plays! I had to teach Charlie and Benny to play because I love it so much, and I need someone to play with, but they didn’t really like it. We usually play poker, not that I don’t like that game, but cribbage is just so much more...”

“Fun, competitive, exciting?” Cas suggests.

Dean laughs. “Exactly.”

“Well, do you wanna play?”

Dean smirks. _How did I get this lucky?_ “Hell yeah.”

*****

“Fuck, Cas, come on!”

Cas chuckles as he pegs his points. Shrugging, he says, “I’m sorry, Dean. You were the one who dealt.”

Dean groans. It’s his turn to count his hand, and he knows he doesn’t have shit. “All right, well,” he lays down his cards. “I have 15-2 and a pair is four.” He goes to peg his pitiful hand. “And there ain’t no more,” he mumbles.

Cas giggles. “You still have your kitty!”

“Yeah, I threw a seven and an ace in there, so unless you threw an eight in there, it’s not gonna be too helpful.” Once he’s done pegging his points from his hand, he turns over the kitty. He looks over the cards. “Yup, nada.” Cas laughs again. “Shut up and deal.”

Cas collects the cards and starts to shuffle. Dean decides to take this pause in the game to clean up from their dinner. “You done with your soup?” Cas nods. Dean stacks the empty chinese containers and throws them away. While he’s in the kitchen, he decides to grab a beer. “Hey, you want anything to drink, Cas?” he shouts out to Cas.

“I’m good,” Cas responds.

Dean closes the fridge and returns to the game, finding Cas has already dealt and is already looking over his cards. “Did you cut the deck?” Cas nods, and Dean flips over the top card before picking up his cards. _Shit_ , he thinks. He has a six-point hand at best. He decides to throw a six and a two into the kitty, which leaves him with two 10s, a five, and an ace. He looks at the board, and Cas is only five spaces out from winning. Dean’s going to have to pull some major pegging magic to pull off winning. He doubts it’s gonna happen, but it’s worth a try. Dean counts first. He lays down a ten. “Ten.”

Cas lays down a ten. “Twenty.”

Dean smirks. “Thirty for three,” he says as he lays down a second ten and pegs his three points.

Cas looks at his cards. “It’s a go.”

Dean smiles again, pegs the go, and plays his ace. “Thirty-one for two,” he says as he pegs the two points.

Cas starts over counting. “Six.”

“Eleven,” Dean says as he plays his final card.

Cas lays down his last two cards. “Eighteen, last card,” he says and pegs his points for last card. Cas is only four spaces away from winning, and Dean is seven.

With Cas’s hand, Dean knows he can’t win, but he has to count first anyway. “Allright, I got, 15-2, 15-4, and a pair is six.” He pegs his points, and he’s only one away from winning. _Dammit_ , he thinks.

Cas smirks and counts his hand. “15-2, and a run of three is five, so...” he pegs. “I win!”

Dean shakes his head and laughs at his childish outburst. “So you did.”

Cas giggles. “This was fun, Dean. I still can’t believe you know how to play. I mean, no one I know knows how to play.”

Dean smiles and nods, looking at the ground. “Yeah, me too.”

“So...”

Dean takes a sip of his beer and looks up at Cas. “So, what do you wanna do now?”

Cas shrugs. “I chose last time. Your turn.”

Dean groans. “Uggh, fine.” Dean thinks for a good five minutes on this. What to do, what to do... He really doesn’t know much about Cas and what he likes to do. He knows he likes L _ord of the Rings_ , and now, he knows he likes to play cribbage. But, other than that, he doesn’t know much. He doesn’t want to do something Cas won’t like so that makes his decision that much harder. Dean yawns, and out of curiosity, he looks down at his watch. It’s almost midnight. _Damn, that was a long game_ , he thinks. “Well, Cas, I am fresh out of ideas,” he says. “I guess I just don’t know what you like to do...”

Cas considers this. “I could say the same about you,” he realizes.

“Well, I think that’s something we should change,” he says, making Cas laugh.

Cas stands up and stretches. “Do we have to do this sitting on the floor?”

Dean chuckles. “Nope,” he says, standing up. “Come on, let’s get ready for bed.”

Cas smiles and follows him into the bedroom. Neither of them really have to do much to get ready for bed. They just change their clothes. Dean shreds his shirt and gets in bed with just his boxers, and Cas does away with his pants, leaving his shirt on. That’s a damn shame. Cas joins him in bed and props himself up on one elbow looking at Dean. “So...?”

Dean mirrors Cas. “How about I tell you a fact about me, and you tell me the same thing? Like, I’ll tell you who my favorite band is, and you have to do the same.” Cas smiles and nods. _God, this is so middle school_ , Dean thinks, but he likes his idea anyway. “My favorite band is Metallica.” Cas laughs. “What?” Dean asks defensively.

“Haha, I just... I don’t know what I expected.” He continues laughing, but he eventually composes himself. “Sorry, I don’t know why I found that so funny. My favorite band is Death Cab for Cutie.”

Dean shakes his head. “Never heard of them.”

Cas shrugs. “Doesn’t surprise me, but I love them.”

“You’ll have to show me them some time.” Cas nods. “Your turn to tell me a fact.”

Cas thinks for a moment. “I watch really weird TV shows, like they’re awesome, but they are definitely not like others.”

“Example!”

Cas chuckles. “Um, Portlandia, Arrested Development, stuff like that.”

Dean’s eyes widen. “You like Arrested Development?” Cas nods. “ _Dude_! Me too! I thought I’d never find anyone else who liked that show! Charlie hates it, and I can’t find out why!”

Cas laughs. “It’s great isn’t it? I mean, Tobias is the best, right? ‘Oh, I’m afraid I blew myself early.’” Cas collapses in giggles.

Dean laughs along with him, nodding. “Oh, my favorite, ‘would anyone like a banger in the mouth?’” Cas laughs harder and nods enthusiastically. They laugh for a good few minutes before pulling themselves back together. “Next fact, I guess, huh?” Cas nods. “Well, I’ve always wanted to become a mechanic and join my god-father’s business, but I decided to become a teacher because... well, I’m not sure why, but I fell in love with it in college.”

“Do you still want to be a mechanic?”

“Um, sometimes. I mean, both jobs have their pros and cons, ya know. Grading is definitely a con, but so is being covered in motor oil every day. I guess if you’re asking if I would leave teaching to become a mechanic, I’d have to say no. I really do like teaching. And, I work with Bobby over the summer to make extra money, so I’m still getting my mechanic fix, ya know?” Cas nods.

“That’s cool,” he says. “I don’t really know what I want to be. I haven’t really found anything that I like to do and that I’m good at.”

“Writing,” Dean blurts.

“I’m no writer, Dean. I love it, but I couldn’t make money off it.”

Dean thinks back to Cas’s paper and shakes his head. “Uh-uh, Cas, you could make money. Believe me. You’re a great writer.” Cas starts to protest, but Dean continues before he has a chance. “I’m serious, Cas. I’ve read your writing, and you have serious talent. All you have to do now is write.”

Cas is quiet for moment, considering this. “You really think that, Dean?”

Dean nods. “Absolutely.”

Cas smiles at that. “Thanks.”

They’re both quiet after that, and they just look into each other’s eyes. _He’s got a great pair of eyes. So blue_ , Dean thinks to himself. “Come on,” he says. “Next fact.”

Cas thinks before saying anything. He opens his mouth about to spill and then closes it, shaking his head.

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing, never mind. It’s a stupid one.”

 _Now, he has to tell me._ “Come on, Cas, no judging.”

Cas sighs, knowing he set himself up for this. “Fine.” He averts his eyes before saying, “I’ve never...” He sighs again. “I’ve never actually been on a date.”

Dean is shocked by this. Cas, for the most part, seems pretty experienced. Maybe, he’s not the most sure about certain cues and stuff, but Dean always thought that was just because he was young. Now, Dean knows it’s because Cas is actually entirely inexperienced. Dean’s chest tightens. _Dammit_ , he thinks.

Cas does what he does best when he’s nervous: he starts blabbering. “Stupid, right? I don’t even know why I told you that. It’s not really pertinent to this conversation, ya know, so I guess, I dunno... I just--”

Dean cuts him off. “Cas.” Cas shuts up and looks at him. “It’s okay that you haven’t been on a date yet. It’s totally fine.” Cas shakes his head. “I didn’t go on my first legit date until I was nineteen.” Cas’s jaw drops. “Yeah, I’m not counting prom because that was a group thing, but yeah, I didn’t have a real date until I was in my first year of college. I really really wanted to ask out this girl Cassie from my high school. I don’t know why I never asked her out back then, but I didn’t. Anyway, I asked her out. We went on some dates, blah, blah, blah, it ended.”

“Can I ask you a question?” He nods. “How many women have you been with versus how many men?”

“You want me to include one-night stands?” Cas shakes his head. “Three women, two men.”

Cas nods. “So you have less experience with men, then?”

Dean huffs out a laugh. “I guess you could say that.” Dean pauses. “Can I ask _you_ a question?” Cas nods. “Was I your first?”

Cas takes on a look of worry. “Yes,” he says and looks down at the bedspread.

“Does that bother you for some reason?”

Cas looks up at him, flushing red. “No! Of course not! I thought it would bother you or something.”

“It doesn’t bother me in the least, Cas, but you should have told me that when we first... ya know. I coulda hurt you.”

Cas nods. “I know, but...” He trails off, unsure of where he was going. “I dunno, I liked that you didn’t know. You didn’t treat me like I was an idiot.”

Dean is about to say that he wouldn’t have done that, but he stops himself. He wouldn’t have treated him like an idiot. He would have been more gentle, and he may have even talked himself out of sleeping with him altogether. _I’m glad he didn’t tell me._ “Well, it’s okay. What’s done is done.” Cas nods. They’re both quiet for a second before Dean decides to continue their game with, “You know that thing we did the other night with the whole _Mr. Winchester_ thing?” Cas nods, smirking at the recollection. “That was a big turn on for me.”

Cas chuckles. “I could tell... I’ve never had a nickname that I liked.” Dean starts to feel bad for all the pet names he calls him. “But, that’s cause everyone always wants to call me Cassie for some reason. I like Cas, and sugar has got to be the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard fall from your lips.”

Dean’s heart skips a beat. He reaches out and pulls Cas closer to him. “Well, _sugar_ , I’m glad you like it,” he says as he presses his lips against Cas’s. Cas kisses back gently.

Their gentle kiss quickly turns into something more passionate, and Cas pushes against Dean, who rolls over on his back bringing Cas with him. Cas, now straddling Dean, grinds his hips down against Dean’s, and Dean groans as he feels himself harden. Dean breaks the kiss. “You’re pretty experienced for a newbie,” he pants out. Cas giggles and takes off his shirt before resuming the kiss with Dean. Dean rubs his hands up Cas’s torso, making him shiver. He pinches Cas’s nipples, and Cas breaks the kiss, gasping. Cas grinds his hips more roughly against Dean in response, and Dean groans. He sits up and pulls Cas closer, resuming the kiss once again. Cas responds more than willingly and tangles his fingers in Dean’s hair. Dean lightly rakes his nails down Cas’s back as he rolls his hips again, making him moan.

“ _Dean_...” Cas says, breaking the kiss.

Dean shifts his attention to Cas’s neck and collarbone. “Tell me what you need, sugar,” he says in between kisses.

“I need...” he trails off as Dean finds _that_ spot on his neck, breaking his concentration.

“Don’t be shy, tell me what you want.”

“ _Please_ ,” Cas begs.

 _So fucking hot when he does that._ “Please, what, baby?”

Cas groans partially out of frustration and pleasure as Dean sinks lower and sucks one of Cas’s nipples into his mouth. “Stop teasing... Please...”

Dean chuckles and rolls his hips up against Cas, and he can feel how ready he is, how close he is already. _Damn, I wish I was that young again._ “Whatever you say, sugar.” He pushes Cas back, and he lays back on the bed, his head where his feet should be. Dean pulls off his boxers quickly before settling over Cas. He presses a gentle kiss to his lips before trailing kisses down his chest. Cas gasps and tangles his hands in Dean’s hair. Dean stops when he gets to the edge of Cas’s boxers. He presses a kiss against his hip and licks his way over to the other one. “God, Dean, come on.” Dean smirks and stops teasing him. He pulls Cas’s underwear off and throws them in the pile with the rest of their clothing. Then, he settles back between Cas’s legs. “Dean, what are you--”

He cuts him off by licking a stripe up from the base of his cock to the head. Cas lets out a groan, and Dean feels himself twitch. He resists the urge to touch himself. Instead, he focuses on Cas. He circles the tip with his tongue a few times before sucking it into his mouth, and then he starts to sink lower onto his cock. Cas gasps and bites his bottom lip. Once Cas’s cock is fully engulfed by his mouth, Dean starts to suck. He bobs his head a few times before sinking back down and sucking some more. Cas yells out from the pleasure. “Ah-Dean, please.” He grips Dean’s hair tightly, and Dean moans along his shaft, the vibrations making him shiver. Cas starts thrusting shallowly into Dean’s mouth, and Dean groans again. _Seriously, how has he learned so fast?_ Dean rubs his hands along Cas’s thighs. “I’m not gonna-- _fuck_... I’m not gonna last much longer,” Cas pants out. Dean moans and starts moving faster, and Cas grips his hair more tightly. He can feel how close Cas is. He knows he won’t make it much longer. He sucks him down one more time, and Cas thrusts in time with him and nearly screams as he comes. “Ah, _yes_!” He explodes in Dean’s mouth, and Dean swallows it all gallantly.

Once he’s come down from his high, Cas looks up at Dean as he crawls back up to give him a kiss. Cas takes him by surprise and rolls Dean onto his back, Cas straddling him once again. He grins up at Cas. He reaches up to rub Cas’s legs, but Cas grabs his wrists and pins them to the bed. “Not so fast, Mr. Winchester,” he says as he rubs the cleft of his ass against Dean’s erection. Dean lets out a throaty moan.

“Lube, Cas... and a condom...”

“Don’t move,” he says as he gets up to retrieve them both. He throws the condom on the bed next to Dean, and he starts lubing up his fingers. He straddles Dean again before pushing a finger inside himself.

“Dammit, Cas,” Dean pants as he watches Cas prepare himself.

Cas adds a second finger and gasps when he finds his prostate. He moves his fingers quickly, roughly even, trying to ready himself again. He adds his third and fourth finger at the same time and groans loudly, just for Dean.

“ _Shit_.”

Cas grins mischievously at him and reaches for the condom. “Put this on,” he says in between gasps. Dean obliges quickly and lubes himself up.

Cas removes his fingers and positions Dean at his entrance, sinking down an inch. He pauses before sinking all the way down in one go. “ _Fuck_ , Cas, you feel so good,” Dean groans. He thrusts up into Cas as he lifts himself up and sinks back down. They’re perfectly in sync. Dean starts reaching again, this time for Cas’s cock, but Cas pins his wrists above his head yet again. Cas shakes his head and stays leaning over him. The new angle has Dean hitting his prostate on every thrust. Cas moves his hips faster and more roughly, making Dean groan. “I’m so close,” he manages to let out.

Cas moves even faster and looks into Dean’s eyes and says, “Come on, come for me, _Mr. Winchester._ ”

And, with that, Dean thrusts up one more time and nearly screams as he climaxes. The feeling of Dean’s cock twitching inside him has Cas coming for his second time.

When they regain their sense of reality, Cas rolls over and lies next to Dean. Dean disposes of the condom and wipes Cas’s come from his chest. Then, he joins Cas in bed again. He gives him a sweet kiss on the mouth and says, “Twice in one day, huh? Aren’t I lucky?” Cas giggles. “That was fantastic, though, Cas, seriously.”

Cas laughs again. “Well, I thought you deserved _something_ after I so easily schooled you in cribbage.”

“You beat me by one space!”

Cas laughs again at his defensiveness. “Haha, that doesn’t change how easy it was.”

Dean shakes his head and pulls him to his chest. “Shut up,” he says.

Cas yawns and says, “With pleasure.”

Dean rubs his arm and back as Cas falls asleep, and eventually, he follows suit and falls into a dreamless sleep.


	10. Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh! I keep updating 'late' and I feel bad, but I had writer's block! But, I think you all will like this chapter. I answer some questions, and it's very plot-oriented, so hopefully ya'll like it!! 
> 
> Also, if I were you, I wouldn't be surprised to find chapter 11 posted by tomorrow or Thursday. I'm working on it as we speak.   
> As always, happy reading!!!

Charlie sighs as she makes the trek up the three flights of stairs to her apartment. She knows her excuse for not telling Dean about Anna is stupid, and she knew deep down that it would only be a matter of time before he figured out she wasn’t telling the whole truth. But, she _couldn’t_ tell Dean the truth. It wasn’t her truth to tell.

“Hey!” Anna calls from the kitchen as Charlie steps into the apartment. The aroma of garlic and basil fill the apartment, and her stomach grumbles.

“What are you cooking?” She asks as she drops her stuff in the living room and joins her fiance in the kitchen.

“Just some pasta with homemade sauce. Nothing fancy,” Anna says modestly.

“Well, I’m sure it will be delicious.”

Charlie lets her finish making dinner and sets the table. About twenty minutes later, they sit around the table and eat, discussing the ups and downs of their days. Charlie recounts the events with Dean, and Anna immediately apologizes. “I’m sorry, honey, you can tell him if it’s that big of a deal to him. I don’t want to come between you.”

Charlie sighs. “He’s hiding something from me too.”

Anna smiles sympathetically. “It probably doesn’t help that we’re keeping this from him.”

“I know, but it’s your life. It’s personal.”

“He’s your best friend, Charlie. Don’t you trust him?” _Yes_ is Charlie’s default answer, but she doesn’t say anything. Instead, they drop the subject and instead spend the night looking at dresses online. Some time around eight, Charlie realizes that she hasn’t seen the mail for that day. “Have you gotten the mail?” Charlie asks Anna.

“Nope, you want me to go grab it?”

Charlie nods gratefully, and Anna goes to retrieve the mail. Charlie continues to scroll through the online stores in search of _the dress_. She’s looking at one that she thinks could be it when all of a sudden, she hears a blood curdling scream from downstairs. _Anna_.

Charlie jumps up and rushes as fast as she can without falling to the mail room. She stops when she gets to the door. Anna is slumped in the corner, shaking, eyes wide open. The dazed look in her eyes gives Charlie an uneasy feeling. Charlie rushes over and pulls her to her. She smoothes out her hair, attempting to comfort her. “Shhh,” she says.

Anna only says two words, but they send chills down Charlie’s spine. “He’s back.”

Charlie instinctively hugs her closer and thinks, _now, I have to tell Dean._

*****

Dean wakes up to his phone ringing. Without opening his eyes, he reaches over for his phone. He accidentally knocks it off the nightstand, and he misses the call. About thirty seconds later, it dings with a text message. He sits up and rubs his eyes. Cas stirs beside him and with his eyes still closed asks, “Who was it?”

Dean shakes his head. “No idea,” he says as he leans over to get his phone from the floor. With bleary morning vision, he opens the text message. He has to blink a few times before he can read it and who it’s from. It’s from Charlie.

_I’m ready to talk._

“Charlie says she’s ready to talk,” he says. Cas sits up next to him and yawns. _That’s adorable_. Dean can’t help but smile.

“Well, that’s good, isn’t it?”

Dean nods, thinking it is, but he’s nervous. What if after she spills her beans to him, she expects him to do the same? She may be ready, but he isn’t. It’s only been a day since they last talked, and Dean has to wonder why she has had such a sudden change in heart.

Curious, he responds to her message. _Ok_. That’s all he can think to say.

_Meet me at the Starbucks down the street from you in twenty minutes_.

Dean blinks at her message, trying to figure out if she’s serious. _Twenty minutes? I just fucking woke up_ , he thinks.

_Make it thirty_ , he replies.

Ok, her response is instantaneous. Dean gets out of bed reluctantly and starts getting dressed. He already feels bad for having to leave Cas alone. “I’m going to meet her at Starbucks in thirty minutes, do you mind?”

Cas shakes his head no. “Of course not, Dean.”

Dean’s back is turned from Cas, but when he says “of course” so nonchalantly, so matter-of factly, he turns to look at the kid, wondering how in the hell he landed someone so understanding. He gives him a sweet smile. “I’ll make it up to you.” Cas laughs.

“You don’t have anything to make up for.”

Dean’s chest tightens. “Like it or not, I’m making it up to you.” Cas raises his hands in mock surrender. Dean finishes getting dressed. Once he’s done, he grabs his watch and phone. Then, he gives Cas a brief goodbye kiss and says, “I won’t be too long. Promise.”

Cas smiles at him and watches him leave.

Dean decides to just walk to the Starbucks because it’s only a two minute walk. No big deal. When he gets there, he sees Charlie’s car in the lot, and he takes a deep breath before going in. He doesn’t know why he’s nervous, but he is. Despite their current rut, he and Charlie were best friends. He shouldn’t be nervous about talking to her, but he is. He spots Charlie easily when he walks in. She’s sitting in one of the chairs in the corner, fidgeting with her hands. _At least I’m not the only one who’s nervous._

He walks up to her and takes the seat next to her. She looks up at his approach. _Damn, he thinks, what happened?_ Her eyes are red-rimmed, and she has dark circles under her eyes as if she were up all night. A pang of guilt makes him uneasy. “I’m sorry,” he says.

He doesn’t even realize he said it out loud until Charlie frowns at him. “For what?”

He shrugs. “For being a dick.”

She snorts. “Yeah, well, we’ve both been dicks, so...”

Dean nods, but his guilt doesn’t go away. He can’t help but think that he has something to do with her crying and loss of sleep. “So, what’s up?”

She takes a deep breath. “You were right.” She pauses, trying to collect her thoughts. “I wasn’t completely honest as to why I kept our relationship from you.”

“Okay, so if not because she wasn’t out yet, then why?”

Charlie takes a sip of her coffee. “It’s a long story. And, the reason why I didn’t tell you is because it’s not mine to tell.” Dean frowns in confusion but doesn’t say anything. “So, you know how I volunteer at the, for lack of a better word, the shelter for domestic violence?” Dean nods, confused how this has anything to do with anything, but he stays silent. “Well, part of the program assists women who are fleeing a stalker or a violent partner. We set them up in a safe apartment or shelter. Apartments are always near or in the same building as a staff member’s.” She pauses, and Dean is still confused. But, he has a hunch of where this is going, and it makes his stomach twist. “That’s how I met Anna.” Dean’s heart sinks. “She was in a bad relationship before she met me... He was awful. He beat her, he tried to control her. She broke it off, and he wouldn’t let her go. He started following her places, calling her at odd hours, sending her letters, unwanted gifts.” She shakes her head, eyes fixed on the table. “Anna grew up here, but she went out of state for her undergrad, and she started her masters there too, but... she had to get out. So, she moved back here, transferred to a college here to finish her degree. But, she came to the shelter as soon as she got here. The police referred her to us. They even had her flown out with a false ID, just so that he wouldn’t know... Any way, we set her up in my building. Right across from me, actually. As a member of the staff, I have to check in on her routinely in order to make sure she’s okay, make sure she hasn’t had contact with him or anything.” Charlie pauses and looks at her hands, shrugging. “And, I dunno, we bonded. We fell for each other. But, it was such a sudden thing. We didn’t go on dates. We didn’t explicitly ask to be each other’s girlfriend. It just sort of... happened. And because of that, it would have been difficult to explain how we met, what our first date was, all that. And, like I said, it’s not my story to tell. It’s hers, and I hate that I lied to you. I wished I could tell you, Dean. I wanted to, believe me, I did, but I just...” She trails off, but Dean knows.

“Couldn’t,” he finishes for her, knowing full-well what that’s like.

“Yeah... And, her not being out to her parents yet did have an influence, but obviously it wasn’t the main reason.”

Dean nods, sympathy filling his features. “I understand, Charlie.” He shakes his head at himself. “And, I’m sorry that I didn’t give you the benefit of the doubt. I mean, you’re my best friend, I should have trusted you.”

“It’s okay,” she says. A silence, not quite awkward, not quite comfortable, falls. Dean looks over at Charlie, studying her. He knows her, he does. At least, he thinks he does. That’s what he thought ten minutes ago before he walked in. But, he thinks over everything she just told him. Truth be told, he actually didn’t know about her volunteer work. He nodded for sake of time. _How could she be doing something like that and I not know?_ He knows she feels strongly about that issue, having a bad experience herself, but he hadn’t realized she did anything to help others going through the same thing. He’s known her all his life. Before Charlie, there was no one. He had no one. But, looking at her now, he questions how well he really knows her. _I hate feeling like this_.

After a few moments of silence, Charlie finally pipes up. “Look, she and I are leaving town for a few days... She thinks...” she sighs. “She thinks he might have found her... So, we’re going to lie low for a week, maybe two. Could you help the sub with my class?”

Dean blinks as he takes in this new information. “Um... is she okay?”

She nods. “Yeah, she’s at the police station right now, actually. She’s talking to the officer assigned to her case,” she checks her watch, “and I need to pick her up in about fifteen minutes. Then, we’re going to go up the coast and enjoy ourselves a little.”

Dean nods. “Okay, yeah, I’ll take care of your classes, don’t worry about it,” he says as if it’s no big deal.

“Thanks, Dean, really.” She reaches over and gives his arm a gentle squeeze. “I appreciate it.” Dean smiles softly at her as a way of saying _you’re welcome_. A few more minutes of silence pass until Charlie says, “I don’t suppose you’re ready to tell me what’s up with you yet, are you?”

Dean considers this. Telling Charlie about Cas--telling anyone about Cas--needs to be a decision that they reach together. And, he sure as hell wasn’t ready to make that decision yet. They’ve just barely admitted--without saying a word--that what they have is more than just sex. They can barely admit to that. How the hell are they supposed to tell their friends about each other? _Say hi, this is Cas, my.... My what?_

Dean shakes his head solemnly. “I’m sorry, Charlie. I’m just not sure what to tell you... It’s really complicated, and... like you said, it’s not only my story to tell... It involves someone else, and I just can’t make the decision to tell you about anything without his approval.”

Charlie considers this, and finally, she says, “I understand. I’ll lay off, but Dean?” He meets her eyes. “Whatever it is, it seems to be eating you up inside.”

Dean nearly sighs. “It’s not that, Charlie, trust me.” _Eating me up inside? No. Making my heart ache, however? Yes._

“It just seems like it might... bother you.”

Dean laughs. He can’t help it. “I promise you. It doesn’t bother me one bit.”

Charlie eyes him warily, but she drops the subject and checks her watch. “I’ve got to go pick her up.” She stands, and Dean follows her out of the Starbucks and walks her to her car. She hugs him before she goes. “Thank you. I mean it.”

He hugs her back and says, “I love you. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” He says it with that tone Cas used earlier and thinks if Charlie realizes how lucky she is to have him.

As if reading his mind, she says, “I know. I’m the luckiest girl on the planet.”

With that, she gets in her car, and he watches as she drives away. Once her car is out of sight, Dean walks back to his apartment. He wonders if Cas knows about his sister’s situation. _If he doesn’t should I tell him?_


	11. Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter, yay! And on time, too! Good job, me! Haha, anyway, as always, thank you sooooo much to everyone who's leaving comments and kudos. They really brighten my day! I love all you guys who keep reading this fic! It really keeps me going!! xoxo
> 
> Okay, so in other news, this chapter answers some questions, but it also switches perspectives a little, and we get to see some other characters'--*cough* Sam *cough*--stories and what they're struggling with, so I hope ya'll like it! 
> 
> Also, an important WARNING: some use of LGBTQ+ derogatory language. I hate using it, but it is necessary in the scene... You'll see why. Just, be warned. Don't want that to be a trigger for any of you. Be safe, my loves.

Cas is asleep when Dean gets home, but he wakes up when Dean sits next to him on the bed. “Hi,” he says softly and stretches his arms above his head.

Dean takes note of his bruises. To his surprise, they look better than they did yesterday. His nose doesn’t look too bad, either. Maybe Dean was wrong about it being broken. “Hey,” he finally responds.

“How’d it go?”

Dean chews his lip. “She told me how she and Anna met, and it explained a lot. Turns out, she had a really good reason for keeping it from me.”

Cas raises his eyebrows. “Really? That’s good.”

He’s happy Cas didn’t pry for more information, but he still needs to figure out if Cas knows about his sister’s situation. “So, do you know why Anna moved back here?”

Cas frowns, confused by the seemingly random question. “Um, I don’t know the whole story. I know she had some problems...” _Thank god, he knows._ “...with one of her professors or something. She didn’t have a good mentor for her field or something. I don’t remember exactly.” Dean’s heart sinks. _Of course, he doesn’t know. Why would he? No one in his family seems big on communication._ “Why do you ask?”

Dean ignores the question. “You should call your sister. Ask how she’s doing.”

Cas gives him a weird look, but he reaches for his phone anyway and dials his sister’s number. “Hey... yeah, just wanted to call to see--” Cas stops mid-sentence as he listens to something his sister is saying. “Anna, slow down, I can’t understand...” He throws Dean a worried look. All Dean can do is give Cas’s knee a reassuring squeeze. Cas is quiet for a long time as he listens to Anna. Dean assumes she’s telling him something about her problem, but he can’t know for sure. As each minute passes, Cas’s frown deepens with worry, though, so Dean believes he’s right to assume that. Finally, Cas speaks again. “So... what do you need? Can I help you or--” Dean guesses she cuts Cas off. “Okay, okay, I’ll call you to let you know how I’m doing, yes, but Anna, is there anything _you_ need?... Okay, fine... Anna, before you go.” Cas pauses. “Why didn’t you tell us? We would have helped you... Okay, love you too. Bye.” Cas hangs up and puts the phone next to him on the bed.

Dean tries to read his face, but he can’t get anything. “What’d she say?”

“Her stalker came back, apparently.” Dean nods. “She wants me to call her while she’s gone. Said that the police say they might be able to catch him because the envelope he sent her had been licked. She said that it was postmarked in state too, so that will help them.” He says all of this with that matter-of-fact tone. Only this time, Dean doesn’t find it comforting. Instead, it sounds distant, cold even.  “I just don’t get why she wouldn’t tell us.”

Dean shakes his head. “Why do any of us keep secrets?”

Cas is quiet, and Dean doesn’t know what else to say. So, they just sit there, each of them absorbing the new information they learned this morning. Dean looks at his watch. _It’s too early for this shit._

Eventually, they decide to get up and do something with the day. Dean makes them breakfast, and they eat in silence, save for the occasional piece of smalltalk. After they’re done eating, Cas takes his plate to the sink.

With his back still to him, Cas asks Dean, “Do you mind if I take a shower?” 

“Sure,” he says, and Cas turns and walks to the bathroom. A few seconds later he hears the shower start.

_What the hell are we supposed to do now?_

Shaking his head, Dean takes his plate to the sink and decides to wait for Cas in the bedroom. He needs to lie down and just _relax_ for a little bit. He lies down on top of the sheets still fully dressed. He doesn’t intend to fall asleep, but he does. He doesn’t intend to fall asleep with Cas on his mind, but he does.

He doesn’t intend to dream of Cas, but he does.

*****

 _Why, why, why, why wouldn’t she tell me? I would have listened... I would have_ , Cas thinks to himself. He stands under the spray of the scalding water, heaving. He doesn’t know why he’s crying, but he is. A lot of shit has happened in the past few days, and he’s just... he’s just not sure he can handle it.

 _You little faggot_ , his father’s voice rings through his mind. He gasps as if the memory physically pains him. And, who is he kidding? It _is_ painful. His father beat the shit out of him. And, what did he do? How had he handled his pain? _I dumped it on someone else... someone who doesn’t want me._ He knows Dean--his _teacher_ \--is going to get bored with him eventually. _He’s bound to_ , he thinks. The thought of losing Dean, of not being able to touch him, feel him, hear him, see him, it tears him apart at the seams. And, he knows, he _knows_ it’s only a matter of time.

Cas’s knees grow weak, and he slides down the shower wall, heaving, weeping. _Yeah, go ahead and cry, just like the little pussy we both know you are._ He reaches up and turns the water even hotter, to the point where the water burns his skin. It hurts, but he doesn’t care. The pain reminds him he’s still alive.

Because sometimes he forgets.

*****

Sam never thought it would happen again. _Dammit_ , it couldn’t happen again. But, it did.

Now, he looks over at the girl sleeping soundly next to him. Her dark hair barely covers her face, and he has to resist the urge to push it out of her face. He wants to see her asleep while she’s at peace. She could be so moody during the day.

He sighs and looks away from her. He loves Jess. Or, at least that’s what he keeps telling himself. She’s the girl of his dreams. She really is. She’s smart, funny, beautiful, but...

He looks over at Ruby again. But, she doesn’t tell him the hard truth when he needs to hear it. She doesn’t push him, drive him to do better. Sure, she encourages him and supports him, but Ruby... Ruby has a way with him that makes him want to exceed her expectations. He wants to prove to her that he can be the best of the best. He wants to make her proud. And, even though he knows whatever he does will make Jess proud, it’s not enough. It’s not the same. He doesn’t want someone to be proud of him all the time. That’s what his mom was for. He wants to actively _earn_ someone’s pride. That’s what Ruby does. She makes him work for it.

He sighs again and sits up.

Jess hasn’t called him in a week, and he stopped calling her, per Dean’s advice. He misses her, he really does, but in some ways, he’s relieved she hasn’t called and forgiven him. He doesn’t deserve it, and honestly, he doesn’t really want her forgiveness. Some part of him actually wants her to never forgive him and leave him. Then, he can be with Ruby, stress free. But, the other part of him panics at the thought of Jess leaving. Maybe it's because he's been with her for so long. She's... comfortable.

 _Dammit_ , he thinks.

Ruby stirs next to him. He looks at her, meeting her dark eyes. Her brow wrinkles in confusion. “Something wrong?”

Sam shakes his head. “I’m just thinking.”

She sits up and kisses his shoulder. Sam tries to ignore how good it feels. “What’s up?” He shrugs. She knows what’s up. “You feel bad about it, don’t you?”

“You don’t?”

“I did after the first time, but now that you guys are kinda... on a break...” She trails off, knowing it’s a touchy topic.

“I just...” _What? What are you going to say? Just tell her the truth. You were friends before you fucked_ , he tells himself. “I thought I loved her, you know? And, now...” He shrugs again. “And, now I’m not so sure.”

Ruby nods in understanding. “I see.” She’s quiet for a minute before continuing. “So, where does that leave us? Cause, honestly, I thought it was a one-night-stand type of deal, but when you called earlier...” She doesn’t have to finish. He knows.

 _I was desperate._ Desperate for Ruby’s touch. He tries to answer her question. “What are your thoughts?”

“I asked you first,” she says, making him chuckle at her slightly immature response.

“To be honest, I don’t know. I mean, we’ve been friends for a while, and I like you. A lot. And, I want to stay friends. I don’t want to lose that, but... I might not hate it if we were more.” He avoids eye contact awkwardly, unsure of how she feels.

And, she takes her own sweet time coming up with a response. The silence seems to drag on forever. “I’d like that,” she says finally.

He lifts his eyes to hers and smiles. “Really?” He asks like a little boy who was just told he could have another cookie.

She smiles sweetly back at him. “Really.” She leans over and pecks him on the mouth. Just a brief, light kiss, but it's enough to shake Sam to his core. “But, you need to figure out things with Jess. Just make it official. Break up or stay together. Make a decision. Because you can’t stay in this odd state of not-together-but-together. You know what I mean? It’s just not healthy.”

He nods. “I’ll talk to her tomorrow.”

Ruby smiles at him and kisses him again. This time Sam deepens the kiss, making all his problems dissipate with the taste of her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a general note, the Ruby/Sam ship in my mind/ for this fic is more like the Jared/Gen relationiship than the Ruby/Sam ship in the show. That's why he's choosing her over Jess. Please don't be mad... XD


	12. Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter is a little short, sorry! I just really wanted to get a chapter out to you guys, so I hope you'll forgive the shortness and the lateness. I had a little bit of writer's block and then I had to worry about school shit, so yeah, I've been busy! 
> 
> Anyway, hope ya'll enjoy! And thanks for the kudos and comments!

When Dean wakes up, his apartment is eerily quiet. _Too quiet_ , he thinks. He gets out of bed, looking at the clock as he does. It’s almost four in the afternoon. _Damn, did I sleep that long?_ Groggily, he walks to the kitchen to satisfy the rumbling in his stomach. He rubs his eyes and opens the fridge looking for something to eat. _Did we eat all that_ \--

_We? Fuck. Where’s Cas?_

Panic fills Dean, and he searches the apartment for Cas. He calls his name. He looks everywhere. It’s a small apartment. There’s not many places he could be. And, he isn’t anywhere. After frantically searching for him, Dean has the bright idea to call Cas. “Pick up, pick up, pick up,” he says as it rings. Nothing. Eventually, it goes to voicemail. Dean doesn’t leave a message. He starts looking around again, this time for a note or something-- _anything_ \--that will tell Dean where he went. Again, he has no luck. He collapses on the couch, defeated. _Where the fuck is he?_

A million scenarios run through his head: his dad figured out where he was and took him; his mom found him and took him; Anna figured it out and made him go to her apartment; some random person broke in and took him; he left. That last one is the scariest of them all, and it shouldn’t be. But, as Dean thinks about it more, that’s the most logical scenario. And, it breaks his heart in two.

_Dammit_ , he thinks as the tears start to stream down his face. _Since when do I get like this?_

He dials Cas’s number again. He doesn’t answer. “Hi, you’ve reached Castiel Novak, sorry I can’t get to the phone right now. Please leave a message, and I’ll get back to you. Thanks.” Dean hangs up, dials again. _He has to answer eventually._

Nearly forty calls later, Cas still hasn’t answered, and Dean feels like a complete dumbass. A fool. _He’s just a fucking kid, my fucking student of all things. You’re such a stupid, selfish, asshole to think it could last. This is what happens when_ \--

The door to his apartment opens, and Dean jumps and looks to see who’s coming through the door. He can feel his face light up, and he lets out a relieved laugh.

Before Cas can do anything, Dean nearly knocks him over with a powerful hug, squeezing him so tightly he can’t breathe. After he gets over the initial shock, Cas hugs Dean back. “Don’t. Ever. Do. That. Again,” he whispers into Cas’s ear. The embrace goes on for a full minute. Dean was just so panicked before Cas walked through the door. He was so nervous that he had left. He was... scared. _What the hell is wrong with me?_ He shakes his head and releases Cas. He turns away and wipes his eyes, hoping Cas doesn’t see he’s been crying. “Where the hell were you?” He doesn’t sound angry, just concerned.

“I... needed a minute alone.”

Cas’s answer surprises him, and Dean turns around. “Are you okay?”

Cas avoids eye contact, closing the door. “Yeah, I just needed to think... When I got out of the shower, you were asleep, and I took the opportunity to take a walk.”

“You didn’t answer your phone,” _god, I sound desperate._

A ghost of a smile plays on Cas’s lips. “I left it here. You probably didn’t hear it because it’s on vibrate.” _Of course it was._ “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

Dean releases a breath. “It’s okay, Cas. I just... I thought you left.”

Cas, still avoiding eye contact, says, “I’m done slipping away while you’re sleeping.”

Dean can’t help but smile. “I’m glad.” Cas finally looks up at Dean, and Dean is taken aback by Cas’s eyes. They’re so beautiful, the most beautiful blue, but they’re red and puffy. As if he’s been crying. He can’t help but wonder if his eyes look the same. “What were you thinking about?” Cas looks away again and shrugs. He walks over to the couch and sits, but he doesn’t say anything. “Come on, Cas, you can tell me anything,” he says gently.

Cas wrings his hands together nervously, and Dean reaches out to settle them. He squeezes Cas’s hands, and he can actually _see_ Cas relax. He lets out a shaky breath. “I was thinking about a lot of things. Anna, my dad,... us...” he trails off. “I feel really guilty about what’s happening to Anna, and I don’t know why. I couldn’t have done anything to protect her or anything, but... I dunno. Maybe if I’d known, I could have at least supported her, helped her... I mean, you know when she moved back here, I didn’t talk to her? We haven’t talked in years. She left for college, and we just... didn’t talk. Then, when she moved back, I thought it would be different, but it wasn’t. Then, we started talking again, out of the blue. And, now I know about this, this... _problem_ she has... And, when it was at its worst, I wasn’t there for her.” He shakes his head before continuing. “And, my dad... _god_ , he pissed me off. I mean, obviously,” he gestures to his bruises. “Everything he said, everything he called me... it just plays in my head over and over and over. It’s like a song I have stuck in my head... a really, _really_ bad song.” He shakes his head again and pulls his hands from Dean’s. “And, on top of all of that, you know what I hate the most? You know what I did that I feel the shittiest about?” Dean gives him an inquisitive, confused look. “Dumping all this shit on you. You don’t need this shit in your life. You don’t need me to tell you all my problems and worry you. And, I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. I don’t want your pity. But, I did it anyway, didn’t I? I came here with my fucked up life and told you my life’s shit, _hoping_ you’d take pity on me. And, guess what? You did... I’m sorry, Dean. I’m so, so sorry...” He collapses in on himself and weeps.

Dean takes a second to respond. He isn’t sure what to say, but his lips move of their own accord. “I’m not pitying you, Cas.” Cas gives a harsh laugh of disbelief.

“Right,” he says sarcastically.

“Cas, look at me.” Cas doesn’t comply, so Dean says it again more firmly. “Look at me, Cas, come on.” Cas reluctantly turns his gaze on Dean, whose chest tightens. Tears stream down Cas’s face, his breaths are short and labored. Dean swallows his own tears. “I am not pitying you. I’m _understanding_ you. I went through what you’re going through. I just happened to be on my own by then. But, Cas, you listen to me. Do _not_ apologize to me for what’s happened to you. It is not your fault. It’s your father’s. Don’t apologize for “dumping your shit on me” because I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way. I took you in that night because I wanted to. Because you needed someone.”

Cas sniffles, averting his gaze once again. “But, you don’t need _me_ , Dean. I only need you.”

Dean thinks about that. His silence makes Cas’s skin crawl. Dean remembers how panicked he was when he thought Cas had left. He remembers the feeling in his chest when he saw him walk through the door. He remembers the gut-wrenching feeling he had when he told Cas he couldn’t do it anymore. He remembers everything he’s ever felt towards Cas. “I need you, Cas.” Cas laughs that laugh of disbelief again, but before he can say anything, Dean continues. “I can’t stop thinking about you, Cas. Every time we’re apart, my thoughts always go back to you. In class, when I see you, you know what I’m thinking of? How much I can’t wait to watch you come again. You know what I was dreaming about when you went for your walk? Huh? I was dreaming about you. Did you know I was jealous of Charlie and Anna? They’re public, and we can’t be. I get anxious when it takes you too long to respond to a text. My palms get sweaty when I think about seeing you and talking to you. My chest tightens, and my heart speeds up when I see you... Now, if that’s not need, I don’t know what is.”

Cas looks up at him and studies Dean’s face, searching for his honesty. He chokes up when he finds it. “Dean...”

Dean pulls him into a tight, much needed hug, breathing in Cas’s soothing scent. Cas continues to cry, and Dean holds him, comforts him. “Shh, I’ve got you, sugar... I’ve got you.”

*****

“Jess, please--”

“No!” She screams at Sam with tears in her eyes. “ _You_ don’t get to break up with _me_! I’m the one who’s hurt! You hurt _me_ , Sam! You can’t just decide that you haven’t!”

Sam swallows and closes his eyes, trying to calm himself. _What the fuck am I doing?_ “Look, it’s just...” he sighs, unsure of what he’s trying to say. “I just... Look, I know I was the one who fucked up, okay? I know, and I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry. But, you won’t talk to me, you won’t listen to me, you won’t forgive me. And, you know what? That’s okay. I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But, it’s obvious you don’t want to stay together.”

She gives him an incredulous look. “What? I never said that!”

Sam returns the look of incredulity. “You want to stay together?” She shrugs. “Jess, come _on_! You deserve better! I cheated on you. I fucked up. Badly.”

“But, I know that you’re upset about it, and I know that it won’t happen again.”

_God damn, she still trusts me. Why, why, why?_ He sighs and turns away from her. He can’t look at her when he says, “But, it did.”

“ _What_?”

“I slept with her again.”

Jessica is quiet for a long time, and Sam turns back towards her but keeps his gaze on the floor. “You’re right, then. We should break up.”

He looks up and meets her eyes, and his heart breaks. Tears are streaming down her face, but her voice is strong. _She’s strong_ , he thinks. He nods. “I’m sorry, Jess. I am.”

She nods. “Yeah, well, too late for that now.” He nods solemnly and shifts from side to side awkwardly. “Is it anyone I know?”

“No one you’re friends with if that’s what you’re asking.”

“It’s not what I’m asking.” Sam stays quiet. He doesn’t want to tell her who it was. It will just make her mad. “It was Ruby, wasn’t it?”

He sighs and nods. “Yeah.”

She doesn’t say anything at first, and the awkward silence drags on. Then, she says, “Just get out,” so he does.

He leaves her apartment and trudges back to his place. He knows he should feel sad or angry or heartbroken, but he doesn’t. He feels... liberated, and he knows he shouldn’t feel that way. He’s been with Jess for almost four years, he should at least feel a little sad that it’s over. But, he’s not. He’s ready for this change in his life.

In fact, he _needs_ it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so if you're on instagram, you can follow me @thesherlockianwhojustcant. And, you can DM me to ask me questions about how the fic is going or about anything at all, really! I'll listen to whatever you have to say! Thanks!!


	13. Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long for me to update, but I was struggling with writer's block. I'm going to try to write another chapter and post that too cause I feel like I owe you guys. 
> 
> Anyways, thanks to everyone who's still reading this fic! I really appreciate it! Happy reading!

Dean and Cas spend the rest of the day lazing around in bed, watching Netflix for hours. They don’t move until both their stomachs are growling so loudly they can barely hear the TV. So, Dean gets up to make an easy mac n’ cheese dinner. They eat in bed and then resume their lazy activities.

Around 11:30, they’re in the middle of an episode of Portlandia when Cas says something so quietly. Dean doesn’t quite catch it, so he pauses it and turns to look at Cas. “What?”

Cas sits up and looks at Dean, who is still lying against the headboard. “Did you mean what you said? You know, earlier?”

 _What do I have to do to get this kid to believe me?_ “Yes, Cas, I did.”

Cas looks relieved. “I know that I keep asking and it’s probably annoying, but... I just wasn’t sure.”

Dean nods. “I understand, Cas. I mean, we haven’t really been clear on what _this_ ,” he gestures between them, “is... So, it makes sense for you to be confused.”

Cas nods in agreement and shifts beside him. Dean can tell he wants to say something else. He waits patiently for him to say whatever it is. “Dean?”

He raises his eyebrows. “Hmm?”

“What are we going to do?”

Dean’s heart breaks because he doesn’t have an answer for him. He doesn’t know what they’re going to do or how they’re going to keep this up or even _if_ they’re going to keep it up. “I don’t know, Cas,” he admits.

“I mean, as much as I like being here, I can’t stay here forever... not while you’re still my teacher...”

“I know.”

“So, maybe, when Anna gets back, and everything is under control again... maybe, I should move in with her?”

Dean doesn’t want that. He wants Cas to stay with him and be close to him, but he knows Cas is right. They can’t keep this up, not while they’re student and teacher. “I think you’re right.”

Cas nods. Then he smirks and says, “I guess I’ll be sneaking out a lot.”

Dean smiles. “Yeah.”

Cas leans down and kisses Dean gently on the mouth. His lips are warm and sweet against Dean’s, and Dean tries to ignore how the small gesture makes his chest tighten. And, when Cas breaks the kiss, he resists the urge to whimper from the loss.

Cas settles down next to him again, curling up against his side. “I’m tired,” he says as Dean resumes the episode.

Dean kisses the top of his head and turns down the volume. A few minutes later, Cas is asleep, and when the episode is over, Dean turns off the TV and goes to sleep too, hugging Cas tight to his chest, knowing he won’t be able to do this for much longer.

*****

Dean wakes up to the smell of bacon. He rolls over and glances at the clock. It’s nearly eleven already. _Whoops, didn’t mean to sleep that late_ , he thinks as he gets out of bed and goes to the bathroom. After, he joins Cas in the kitchen, taking a seat at the island. He smiles tiredly as Cas slides him a cup of coffee. He’s glad to see Cas’s bruises are much better today. He takes a sip of his coffee, and _damn_ , Cas made it just right. He sits back and watches as Cas scurries around the kitchen making breakfast. It’s amusing to watch as he struggles to find utensils and what not.

About ten minutes later, it’s all done, and Cas announces it proudly. “Done!”

Dean gets up, smiles at Cas, and gives him a sweet peck on the cheek. “Thanks for the breakfast.” He gets them two plates, and they pile them with food. They eat in hunger-addled silence. “It’s really good,” Dean mumbles with his mouth full of bacon and biscuit and eggs. _Didn’t realize I was so hungry._

Cas beams at him with pride. “Thanks.”

Once they’re finished, Dean takes their dishes into the kitchen and puts them in the sink, deciding he’ll wash them later. Then, he turns back to Cas. “So, what’s on the schedule for today?”

Cas shrugs. “I think I have homework that I need to do...”

Dean nearly groans, knowing that _he’s_ got work to do too. He’s done with the papers, but he has other stuff to grade too. “Yeah, me too. I guess we should do that before anything else, huh?”

Cas nods. “Yeah.”

Yet, neither of them move. Neither of them actually want to do work. “I have no motivation,” Dean says, joining Cas on the couch.

“Me either.”

Dean looks at him again, assessing his bruises. They really _do_ look better. “Your bruises look a lot better,” he says, kind of out of nowhere.

“Not really,” Cas says, looking down at his wrists. _Oh_ , Dean thinks, _right_.

He shifts his gaze to Cas’s wrists, and he finds five--between both his wrists--scab-like scars. He looks closer, though, something catching his eye, and finds older scars, lighter ones. “Cas...”

Cas keeps his gaze down and doesn’t say anything.

“Cas... how long have you...?”

Cas is quiet for a long time, so long, Dean starts to think Cas isn’t going to answer. Then, Cas says, “I hadn’t done it for a while... But, I started when I was in eighth grade. Anna had just gone to college, my parents started fighting, I started to question my sexuality... It was a confusing time, Dean, and I just... I don’t know.” He pauses, shaking his head. “I was scared and lonely and anxious and it all just started to weigh on me.” He swallowed before continuing. “The first time I did it, I just wanted to see if there was anything to it. If it actually helped... The first time I did it... it was just to test the waters, ya know? Then... then, I did it. Only one little slice along my left wrist... It was enough to take me away from my problems. But, eventually, I found myself _needing_ it. It helped me forget the other pain and stress in my life... even if it was just for a little while.” He sniffles, and Dean instinctively takes his hand. “Then, I stopped in sophomore year... I was afraid I wasn’t going to cut horizontally... So, I forced myself to stop. When I started again, I did it for another reason... I did it to remind myself that I was real. That I was alive...” He trails off and sniffles again. “But, at the beginning of this year, I stopped again because... well, because of you, actually.” He shakes his head. “Then... well, you know.”

Dean shakes his head, feeling so bad for everything he did that day. Still holding Cas’s wrist, he raises it to his mouth and gives each scar a kiss. “To make the pain go away,” he says in between the little kisses. Then, he does the same thing with his other wrist, and he kisses his way up Cas’s arm, across his shoulder, up his neck, and across his jaw. Before he makes it to his mouth, Dean says, “I can remind you you’re alive.” He kisses him. A full, passionate, beautiful kiss. And, Cas responds in kind. He tangles his hands in Dean’s hair and pulls him closer. Dean breaks it and rests his head against Cas’s. “This is all you need, Cas.” Cas nods fervently before pulling Dean back for another kiss. Cas pushes his way into Dean’s mouth, and Dean nearly _moans_ when their tongues meet each other. Cas suddenly pushes himself toward Dean, and before he knows it, Cas is straddling him, grinding down against him. Then, he can’t help but moan. _Fuck_. It’s his turn to tangle his hands in the younger man’s hair and pull him closer. Cas groans and runs his hands down Dean’s chest, teasing at the hem of his shirt. Dean lifts his arms, and Cas pulls it over his head, tossing it aside. Dean does the same with Cas’s shirt, and then, they’re back to kissing. Cas is still grinding down against Dean, but he suddenly stops. He gets up and walks to the bedroom before Dean has a chance to say anything. He returns quickly, placing lube and a condom on the coffee table.

Before Dean has a chance to speak, Cas is on him again, kissing and grinding away. He runs his hand down Dean’s chest and teases at the waist-band of his boxers before slipping his hand in and gripping Dean. Dean has to break the kiss to let out a moan. “Shit, Cas.” Cas smiles and, much to Dean’s dismay, removes his hand. He raises up enough to push down Dean’s boxers, and Dean kicks them off the rest of the way and flings them elsewhere. Cas quickly removes his own. Then, he grabs the lube and smears some on his fingers. Before Dean is fully aware of what he’s doing, Cas pushes a finger against his rim. He lets out a hiss. “ _Fuck_.” Cas pushes in the first finger, loosening Dean up enough for a second, which he adds quickly. Dean gasps from the pleasure. Cas pushes in a third finger and finds Dean’s prostate. “Yes!” Dean screams from the overwhelming pleasure and bucks his hips against Cas’s fingers. Cas pushes in a fourth finger, and Dean nearly loses it. “Shit, Cas, _yes_.”

That’s when Cas decides he can’t take it anymore and grabs the condom. “Help me,” he says to Dean, who lifts his head and smiles. _The kid still doesn’t know how to do this._ He takes the condom, rips it open and rolls it onto Cas. Then, he pulls up his knees, and Cas settles between them, his erection pressing against Dean’s rim. They’ve only ever done this one other time, Cas topping. Usually, Dean likes to top, then Cas pushes in all in one go, and Dean can’t deny that he _fucking_ _loves_ bottoming.

He groans and pulls Cas deeper. Cas moans and sets a punishing pace, hitting Dean’s prostate on nearly every thrust. Dean is losing control, the pleasure overwhelming all his senses. He rakes his nails down Cas’s back, and the younger man leans down and kisses him passionately. The new angle providing just the right friction, and Dean groans into the other man’s mouth. Cas breaks the kiss. “You feel so good, Dean, so fucking good...” He picks up the pace and his thrusts become erratic. Dean knows he isn’t going to last much longer. He takes one of Cas’s hands and guides it to his dick. Cas seems confused at first, but then, realization strikes, and he starts stroking Dean in time with his thrusts. Now, Dean _really_ loses it. He grips Cas’s ass and looks him in the eye as he continues to pound into Dean.

They come at the same time, screaming each other’s names.

Cas collapses against Dean, panting. Dean hugs him close. Cas turns and kisses Dean along his neck. Then, he murmurs, “This is all I’ll ever need.”

Dean’s chest tightens, and his gut twists. _This is all I’ll ever need too_. “Cas...”

Cas raises lifts his head enough to look at Dean, confusion all over his face.

“I...” he trails off. Then, without making a full conscious decision, he says, “I love you.”

A tear escapes Cas’s right eye and he leans down and hugs Dean close. “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awwwww, well, isn't that sweet? xD


	14. Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wahoo!!! New chapter!! Thanks for whoever is still reading this! Hope you all enjoy!
> 
> Happy reading!!

The next morning Dean and Cas scurry around the apartment getting ready for school in content, sleepy silence. They didn’t do much yesterday, other than homework. They eat in comfortable silence and put their plates in the dishwasher. After breakfast, Cas goes to the bedroom to get dressed, and Dean pours himself a to-go cup of coffee. Everything is nice. Dean is happy.

That is, until, someone knocks on the door. Dean opens the door, only part way to see who it is, but Benny pushes in past him. “Mornin’ Dean! You ready to go?”

Dean stands there for a second, shocked. _Dammit, shoulda remembered he was driving today._ “Uh... Benny, I, uh... I kinda... got lucky last night...”

Benny claps him on the shoulder. “Good for you, Dean! You needed it, I’m sure.”

Dean laughs nervously. “Yeah, uh, he’s kinda still here... And, I promised him I’d give him a ride to work, so... I forgot to text you, I’m sorry.”

Benny waves him off. “I don’t mind driving him too. Where’s he work?”

_No, Benny, wrong answer._ “Oh, no, Benny, you don’t have to... It’s a longer drive, and I don’t wanna make you late for work or anything...”

Benny laughs. “It’s no problem, brother, seriously.”

“But--”

He cuts him off. “What? You don’t want me to meet him or somethin?”

Dean sighs. _Not exactly_ , he thinks. “Look, I really don’t want to inconvenience--”

And, that’s when Cas steps out of the bedroom, unknowing of Benny’s presence and says, “Dean, have you seen my--” He stops cold when he spots Benny.

Dean’s heart stops. _No, no, no, nononono._

Benny turns his head and looks at Cas. “Novak?”

Cas turns the brightest shade of red. “Sir.”

Benny turns to Dean, anger written all over his face. “This is it, isn’t it? _This_ is what you won’t tell me or Charlie about?” He screams his words at Dean. Dean can’t speak. He doesn’t know what to say. _Oh, don’t worry he’s legal? Yeah, that won’t make things much better._ So, Dean just nods. Benny clenches his jaw. “How long has this been goin on, Dean? How long did you think you could fuck this...” he looks at Cas, “...this kid? He is a _kid_ , you know that, right, Dean? You know that he’s your student, right? You know you can go to jail for this, right?”

“I’m eighteen,” Cas says weakly.

Benny turns to him, and Dean wishes he hadn’t said anything. “I don’t know how much people will care about that if they find out a teacher is fucking a student.” He turns back to Dean. “How could you be so stupid?”

Dean frowns at Benny--at this person whom he considers to be one of his best friends.

Before he can respond, Benny continues. “Seriously, man, how? What are you gonna do if his parents find out? What are you gonna do if someone like Crowley finds out? Huh? What then? They’ll ruin you.” He’s quieter now, not so much as angry as disappointed. “You’ll never be able to find another teaching job.”

Dean clenches his jaw. He knows all this. He knows all the risks. And, yet, he cares less and less every day. “You think I don’t know all this, Benny? You think I just jumped in without thinking? I tried for _weeks_ to stop thinking about him. I tried to ignore my feelings. I tried to forget about it when we first had sex. I tried to end it. I did, you can ask him.” Benny shakes his head slightly, frowning. “But, Benny, I couldn’t... I can’t stop. It’s not just the sex... When I imagine myself in ten years, twenty years, _fifty_ years, Benny, you know who I think of being next to me, with me for the rest of my life? Huh? You know who I think of?” Benny shifts uncomfortably. “It’s not Sam, or Charlie, or you, or anyone else. It’s _him_. It’s the man standing behind you. Because you know what?” Dean swallows and takes a deep breath before saying, “I love him. Trust me, I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t even _want_ it to happen, but... we make each other happy, Benny. I know I may not always believe it, but I deserve that, don’t I? I deserve to be happy, right?”

Benny looks at him for a long time without saying anything, obviously debating with himself on what to say. This is a shock for him, no doubt, especially Dean’s confession of love for the young man. Dean and Benny have been friends for years, and he’s known all of Dean’s serious partners. Not once has Dean said anything about love.

Benny releases a breath, and his eyes soften. “You do. You, more than anyone, deserve to be happy...” He trails off, but Dean can tell he wants to say something else, so he waits. “So, I’m not gonna say anything. I’ll be your friend in this... But, man,” he shakes his head, “I can’t do much if someone else finds out.” Benny turns to Cas, then, and says, “As for you... well,” he shakes his head again, pausing, trying to find the words. Then he asks, out of nowhere, “You feel the same way? You love him?”

Cas makes eye contact with Dean as if for reassurance, and his eyes light up when he finds it. “Yes,” he tells Benny without breaking eye contact with Dean.

“Well... I guess you know better than me...” He sighs. “Let’s get on the road... Don’t wanna be late to school... Novak, I’ll drop you off a few blocks from school so that no one thinks...” he trails off, unable to complete his thought.

Cas nods. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”

Benny gives a curt nod and says, “Right, well, I’m ready whenever ya’ll are.”

Dean and Cas collect their things, and within five minutes, they’re on the way to school. The car ride is quiet and awkward. Today, Benny doesn’t fill the air with pointless small talk. Today, they just sit and listen to the radio.

When they’re about five blocks away from school, Benny pulls off to a nearby store parking lot, and Cas gets out. “Thanks,” he mumbles as he closes the door. He starts walking away, towards school. A few moments pass before Benny looks over at Dean and says, “So, does Charlie know?” Dean shakes his head, and Benny nods. “Course not... Well, I think you should tel her, Dean. Keeping secrets is never a good idea with you two.”

“It’s complicated.”

Benny snorts. “I get that, but man, she’ll probably react the same way I did.”

“No, it’s not that necessarily... She’s engaged.”

“She is? I didn’t know that, didn’t even know she was seeing someone.”

“Me either.”

Benny raises his eyebrows at that. “Well, damn... That explains some stuff.” Dean nods. “But, what does that have to do with your thing with Novak?”

Dean smiles slightly at his constant use of “Novak” instead of Castiel. “Well, you see, the person she’s marrying? Her name’s Anna... Novak. She’s Cas’s sister.”

“Cas?” Benny gives Dean an incredulous look. “Damn, you really _do_ like him. The only other person I’ve ever heard you give a nickname was Sam.” He chuckles a little, and Dean gives him a look. “What?”

_My nickname for Cas is the only thing you noticed from what I just said?_ “Charlie is marrying his sister! It’s a little complicated, don’t ya think?”

Benny chuckles again as he shifts the car into reverse and backs out of his space, getting back on track to school. “Sure, it’s a little more complicated, but, Dean, if you’re for real, if you really think you’ll be with this guy for the rest of your life, she deserves to know that, doesn’t she? She’s your best friend.”

“She didn’t tell me about her fiancee for _two years_!” Dean screams. He takes a deep breath to settle himself. “Look, I just don’t know how to tell her...”

Benny nods in understanding. “I’m not sayin’ you gotta do it now, but... _eventually_ , ya know?”

Dean nods. “I know, I know.”

“Until then, you let me know if you need anything, okay?” Benny pulls into the school, then and parks.

Dean looks at him for a moment before responding. “Okay.”

“Cause I’m here for ya, brother, you hear?”

Dean’s lips curl up at the edges. “Yeah, thanks, man.” Benny nods in an _of course_ manner. “No, seriously, thank you.”

Benny looks at him and nods again. “You’re welcome, Dean.”

They get out and walk to the entrance of the school. Benny chuckles again as they reach the point where they usually part ways. “What?” Dean asks him.

Benny shakes his head, a smile on his face. “Who’d a thunk a pretty little _teenager_ would steal the heart of the almighty Dean Winchester?” He chuckles and shakes his head again as he walks away.

Dean blushes as he walks to his classroom, thinking about what Benny said. He finds himself snorting at Benny’s hypothetical question as he unlocks his door. _Who’d a thunk, indeed._

 


	15. Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW!!! Ok, so I know it's been a while, and I'm sorry about that, but OMG! GUYS!!!! WE'RE AT FIFTEEN CHAPTERS!!! It feels like yesterday that I started this fic! I'm soooooooo thankful for all you guys who keep reading! Ya'll are THE BEST!!!!!!!!
> 
> So, for this chapter, I focused on Cas a little bit, just so you guys can get inside his head a little more and see what he's thinking... Hope you guys like it, and I hope it's worth the wait!!
> 
> Happy reading!!!!!!!

“Hiya, Clarence.” Meg’s obnoxious nickname usually gets Cas’s attention, but not today. He hasn’t even noticed she’s sitting next to him. All he can think about is what happened this morning. Mr. Lafitte knows. He knows about him and Dean. And, he’s freaking out. He said he wasn’t going to say anything, but how can they be sure? How can they trust him? What if--

Meg punches Cas in the arm, who yelps and looks at her confused. “What?” He yells. A few people near them turn their heads but quickly refocus on whatever they were previously doing.

Meg laughs and shakes her head. “You’re so out of it, man.”

He nods. “Yeah, sorry... didn’t get much sleep.” It’s not a total lie. He _did_ have a little bit of trouble sleeping. _Dean is quite the cover hog._ Cas smiles at the thought.

Meg gives him an odd look as the fourth period bell rings--Cas’s favorite class of the day begins.

“Hello, everyone, how’s everybody doing?” Dean addresses the class, but much to Cas’s dismay, he avoids eye contact with him. Everyone responds with a universal “good,” and he nods. “So, today, we’re going to split up, straight into book groups for discussion. We didn’t get a lot done last week, and I’d like to catch up a little. I’ll be coming around to each group to collect notes and to ask you all questions. Hopefully, you are all caught up on your reading. All right, so I’ll start with group one over here.” He walks over to table one, and Cas can’t help but follow his movements, and before he knows it, he’s daydreaming, and Meg slaps him again.

“Dude! Come on!”

“Seriously, Castiel,” that’s Balthazar talking, “this isn’t like you. Usually, you’re the one getting onto _us_.” Meg nods in agreement.

Cas looks between his friends, who are waiting for some kind of explanation. He considers smirking and saying that he got lucky this weekend and that's why he's tired, but he knows they’ll ask questions. And, he knows he’ll have to lie, so instead, he says, “Sorry, I’m just tired... Let’s just discuss the book. What’d you guys think of Birdie’s relationship with Nick?”

And, just like that, they move on and start talking about _Caucasia_. But, Cas isn’t paying one lick of attention. His eyes keep wandering, and no matter what he does, they always rest on Dean’s beautiful form. Then, Meg or Balthazar hits him on the arm, and he jumps and says, “Huh? What?” They just shake their heads and resume their conversation.

Then, next thing ya know, Dean’s sliding into the empty seat across from Cas, and it’s their turn to turn in their notes and answer their teacher’s questions. Now, Cas’s eyes settle anywhere _but_ Dean, and Dean’s do the same.

Meg hands him their notes. “Here are our notes, Mr. Winchester.”

He takes them and looks them over. “Looks good...” He marks their grade on his clipboard, and then he starts the questions. “So, tell me about Birdie’s--or should I say, Jesse’s-- relationship with Nick.”

Meg jumps in first. “Well, it’s weird. He’s fifteen, and she’s barely twelve, and he wants to... to... ya know...” Dean chuckles at her ineptitude, and Cas’s heart does a somersault. _It ought to be illegal to be that adorable._

“And, he wants to sleep with her,” Dean finishes for her.

She blushes and continues. “Yeah, and it’s kinda weird.”

Dean tilts his head to the side and pushes further. “How so? Explain. Three years really isn’t that big of an age difference.”

“Yeah, but she’s twelve! She’s so much more... I dunno, innocent? Less mature than he is?”

“Are you asking or telling me?” Cas smirks, he’s heard that one before.

“Telling you.”

Dean nods. “Then, what about when she’s older and more mature?”

Balthazar chimes in this time. “Well, I think it’s not as big of a deal because their maturity levels are more or less equal, so their age difference isn’t as big of a deal.”

Dean nods again, then, he turns to Cas. “And, what do you think, Castiel? You’ve been very quiet today.”

Cas meets Dean’s gaze, and for the life of him, he can’t help but blush. _Pull yourself together, man,_ he silently chastises himself. He clears his throat and says, “Well... um... I think their relationship is weird because Nick just seems creepy overall... I, uh, think the age difference has something to do with it at the beginning, but by the end, when she’s fifteen, their relationship is more... I dunno, it makes more sense, I guess... It’s more acceptable, I guess.”

Dean nods in approval. “Good interpretation. Does anyone have anything to add to that?” Dean shifts his gaze to the other two people at the table, and Cas releases a breath, and he feels the blood leave his face. He closes his eyes to settle himself, but he can’t really be that calm with Dean so close. _God dammit, why can’t I just be professional? Why can’t I just relax? I mean, it’s Dean for crying out loud!_

Thankfully, the bell rings a few minutes later, and he, Meg, and Balthazar start to head out for lunch. And, Cas is actually glad fourth period is over. Now, he can actually pay attention to his friends, instead of fantasizing about having Dean pin him to the wall and fuck him right then and there. _There I go again_.

“Castiel? Could I speak with you for a moment?” _And, there’s that over-professional tone of his._

Meg leans in close to Cas and whispers, “Why does he keep asking you to stay after class? Are you failing or somethin, Clarence?”

Cas just rolls his eyes at her and walks up to Dean’s desk. Dean waits until everyone is gone. Then, he says, “Cas... I am so, so, so sorry about what happened this morning.”

Cas shrugs. “It’s not the end of the world, Dean. I mean, he was bound to find out some day.”

“Yeah, but like _that_?” He shakes his head. “ _So_ not how I wanted to do it.”

Cas grunts his agreement. “Is he mad? He seemed mad...”

Dean sighs. “No... I mean, he was at first, but... I don’t think he is anymore. He’s one of my closest friends. He won’t tell anyone.”

Worry and doubt well up in Cas’s throat. “But, what if--”

Dean cuts him off. “Cas.” He gives him a stern look. “Don’t do that.”

Cas frowns and tilts his head. “Do what?”

“Overthink. Don’t worry. Benny is anything but a nark. I’d trust him with my life. Seriously. Don’t stress yourself over this. He won’t say anything.”

Cas bites his lower lip. _But, how can we be sure?_ He wants to say. Instead, he says, “If you say so.”

Dean doesn’t seem convinced--and he shouldn’t be really, that statement wasn’t very convincing. “Cas, do you trust me?”

Cas almost laughs at the question. _Do I trust you?!?_ He wants to scream at him. _Of course, I trust you! You’re about the only person, I trust!_ “Of course, I do.”

Dean smiles. “Then, trust me on this, Benny’s good on his word.”

And, just like that, the worry disappears from Cas’s throat. He nods. “Okay, I trust you.” He starts to turn and head out, but Dean stops him.

“Hey, uh, one more thing...” He turns back to look at Dean, who’s now hesitant and seemingly nervous. “Uh, what are you going to do for Christmas?”

 _Oh, yeah, that’s in a couple weeks_. He shrugs and says, “I’ll probably do something with my sister... I guess.. I dunno...” _What do I do now that I’ve been disowned by my parents?_

Dean shifts on his feet. “Well, uh, I don’t know if you’d want to, but, uh, my brother is coming down... He and I always get together for holidays, and... well, he’s bringing his girlfriend down, and we’re gonna have dinner and everything, ya know? And, uh, I’d kinda like it if he met you... Only if you want to, of course! I know we’re not public or anything, for obvious reasons, but... yeah, I think he’d like you...”

Cas grins because _come on, that rambling was adorable_. But, he can barely enjoy the moment before that worry swells back up in his chest once again. “Are you sure, Dean?” 

Dean scratches the back of his head. “Well, yeah... He’s my brother. He doesn’t know you’re my student. He’s the one person--well, aside from Benny, now--that we won’t have to hide from. And, I think you’d have a really good time with us... Just think about it. You don’t have to give me an answer right now. I get that it’s a lot.”

Cas is quiet for a moment, throwing the idea around in his head. He knows that if he waits and thinks it over for the next two weeks, he’ll overthink it, which is just what Dean is telling him _not_ to do. Because let’s face it, Cas overthinks _way_ too much. _I don’t even know if Anna would want me to spend Christmas with her and Charlie... And, how awkward would that be? Pretty damn awkward..._ “Okay, let’s do it.”

His answer seems to surprise Dean, but after he recovers from the initial shock, an ear-to-ear grin spreads across his face, and he closes the distance between them and gives Cas a tight hug. The sudden contact surprises Cas, and he takes a moment to respond. Then, he hugs Dean back. “Thanks, Cas. It means a lot, seriously.”

Cas pulls back from the hug and steps back. They have to be careful. “Of course, Dean.” He gives him one last smile before turning and walking to the cafeteria with butterflies in his stomach.


	16. Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so it's been more than a month since I last updated, and I am soooooo sorry. I hope to post more consistently, but I really can't make any promises. I hope you all had a lovely holiday, and I hope that you guys have a good New Years too. 
> 
> ALSO, if you've been reading this and paying attention and all, you'll notice that I changed the holiday Dean asked Cas about from Thanksgiving to Christmas b/c it's more along with the current time of year (and I didn't want to do thanksgiving and xmas b/c I'm lazy, tbh). Thanks everyone, hope you enjoy, happy reading!!!

The last two weeks leading up to winter break fly by. Dean doesn’t know how, but somehow, final grading, final papers, finals, everything just flies by. Cas continues to stay with him, and he’s actually getting used to it. Until Charlie calls the Thursday before break.

Dean and Cas had just walked through the door to  Dean’s apartment when his phone rings. He answers without looking at the caller-ID. “Hello?”

“Hey, Dean, it’s Charlie.”

He should be happy she’s calling. He should be happy because this probably means the police caught Anna’s stalker, and they can move on with their life. He should be happy because Charlie is his best friend, and he wants her to be happy. But, all he can think of is Cas leaving. “Hey,” he says, sounding a little defeated unintentionally.

“Um, are you okay?” He resists the urge to laugh. Even miles away, she can tell something’s up.

He lies anyway. “Yeah, yeah, what’s up?”

She drops the subject. “They caught him. She’s safe. Thank goodness. We’re coming back tonight.”

“Awesome.” He tries his best to sound excited, but it’s no use. He can’t fake it.

“Anna is really worried about Castiel. She’s anxious to see him. She hasn’t been able to talk to him very much. He’s been really busy with school-work, you know finals and everything...” Charlie trails off, and Dean remains silent. He doesn’t know what to say. He knows Cas has been busy. He’s been living with him. Cas has spent the last two weeks studying his ass off. That or getting his brains fucked out. So, yeah, he hasn’t had much time to talk to his sister. Dean feels kinda guilty about that... only a little, though. After a few seconds of silence, Charlie continues. “You wouldn’t happen to know how he’s doing, would you? I know he’s in one of your classes...”

Dean frowns. “Uh, yeah, uh... He seems fine to me... Nothing out of the ordinary that I can see.”

Charlie breathes a sigh of relief. “Good... I think he’s probably going to move in with us since his parents...” She trails off again. “Sorry, I shouldn’t be telling you this. It’s their business.” _Uh-huh, sure._

“Right... well, will I see you at work tomorrow, then?”

“Uh, yeah, probably... Got a lot of grading to do.”

Dean gives a small laugh. “Uh, about that...”

“What?”

Dean scratches the back of his head and says, “Well, uh, you don’t really have any catching up to do... If anything, _I’m_ the one who’s behind...” He trails off, hoping she gets the gist.

After a few moments, she seems to get it and squeals. “Dean! You did not!”

He laughs. “But, I did... Benny and I... we felt bad that you would have to come back and do all this work, so we graded most of your stuff for you...”

“Dean, I don’t know what to say... Thank you.”

“Any time, Charlie... I love you.”

He can hear her smile when she says, “I know.”

He smiles and says, “See ya tomorrow, Charlie.”

“See ya, Dean,” and she hangs up.

Dean turns to Cas, who’s waiting patiently on the couch for Dean to come in and sit. He takes a seat next to Cas, but he doesn’t say anything. Cas isn’t looking at him. He’s studying the floor. “They’re coming back, right?”

“Yeah...”

Cas sighs and starts nodding. “Right... well, I guess I should pack up, huh?” He gets up and starts to go and do just that, but Dean stops him.

“Cas,” is all he has to say for him to stop in his tracks. “You... you don’t have to.” _I sound so desperate, jeez._

With his back still turned, Cas responds. “We talked about this. I move out when Anna gets back.” He’s practically whispering, but his voice is strong.

“I know, but...”

“But, what, Dean? I can’t live with you.”

 _I’m used to waking up next to you._ “Things are different now.”

Cas’s shoulders sink and he turns to face him, his face sad. “I know... but you’re still my teacher. I’m still your student, and this...” he gestures between them, “... is still wrong. You could get fired, maybe even arrested... Us living together would just make things worse.”

Dean reluctantly nods. Then, he smirks. “I can’t get arrested... you’re eighteen, remember? That’s what you so nicely pointed out to Benny, remember?”

Cas blushes and rolls his eyes. “Law sewts are still real, though.” Dean just laughs, and Cas manages to huff one out too. “I really should pack up...”

Dean nods. “Yeah, I’ll help you.”

He gets up and goes with Cas to the bedroom to pack up Cas’s things. It doesn’t take them very long, and when they’re done, they start doing school-work. They’re both behind. Cas only has one more day, but he has a huge paper due in his history class tomorrow and a final to study for. Dean, on the other hand, was not lying to Charlie. He’s behind on grading. Final grades are due tomorrow by midnight, and he still has to grade the last test _and_ the final exam. So, they spend the rest of the night studying and grading. Kind of boring by their standards.

Around eleven, Dean yawns and says, “I gotta take a shower before bed. You should take a break and call it a night.” Cas yawns and nods.

“Yeah, I should--” his phone ring cuts him off. He frowns and answers it. “Hello?... Anna, oh, hi... you guys just landed?... _What_ ? Tonight? Anna, it’s almost eleven... No, no, I don’t want to wake anyone up... Yes, I know _I’m_ up, but other people in this house aren’t, so... No, no, Anna, it’s out of the question. Can’t you just pick me up from school or something tomorrow?... See? That’s much more rational...” Cas smiles and listens to his sister for a little bit before saying, “Okay, okay, Anna, we can’t do this right now. I’ve got to sleep... We’ll catch up tomorrow... Okay, good night.” He hangs up and looks at Dean. “She’s going to pick me up from school tomorrow.”

Dean looks at the floor. “I heard.”

Cas bites his bottom lip, something Dean loves but misses, and says, “This is my last night here.” Dean nods, still avoiding eye contact. “Can you think of something we could do to commemorate that?”

Dean meets his eyes and smirks. “Well, I dunno, what do you have in mind?”

Cas grins mischievously and says, “Didn’t you say you had to take a shower?”

*****

“ _Fuck_ , Cas--ah, yeah... right there...” Dean moans as Cas thrusts into him as the hot water rains down on them.

Dean’s hands are placed flat against the tile wall while Cas stands behind him fucking him hard and fast just like he likes it. He’s achingly hard, and his dick is being unfairly ignored. But, when he reaches down to relieve some of the pressure, Cas catches his hand and pushes it back against the wall. “Uh-uh... not tonight... I wanna see if I can make you come untouched,” Cas whispers into his ear in between pants, and Dean probably could have come just from that, but he really does need more stimulus.

He can’t help the whiny noise that escapes his lips. “Come on, Cas-- _hnng_.” He cuts himself off when Cas gives a particularly hard thrust and strikes his prostate straight on. Knowing that he hit his sweet spot, Cas stops thrusting. Instead, he swirls his hips and rubs that spot eliciting loud and downright profane noises from Dean.

“You make me do it all the time...” Cas says as he starts thrusting again, hitting that same spot every time. “...I know you think it’s because of my age, but...” he trails off, panting as the friction becomes too much. He has to swallow to regain control. “...but I read online about how it’s all about where the pleasure comes from, so... I decided I wanted to try it.”

Dean groans at the thought of Cas looking up new ways to please him, and he starts to move with him, pushing back as Cas pushes forward. And, soon, neither of them is capable of speech. The only noises they can make are the groans and pants and moans from the blinding pleasure they’re giving each other. Dean straightens up so that his back is flush against Cas’s front and reaches around to grip the younger man’s hair. “Come on, sugar... go on... make me come. Make me come for you.” Cas groans and thrusts faster, harder. Before long, his thrusts become erratic, and he’s so close, so close. But, he stays true and hits Dean’s sweet spot on every thrust. “Yeah, right there--ah, shit, _Cas_!” Dean comes hard, untouched.

And Cas isn’t far behind. Dean’s body vibrates from his orgasm, and after a couple more thrusts, he comes just as hard, holding Dean close.

Once they both come down from their high, Dean disposes of the condom, and they finish taking a shower. They fall into bed sometime around midnight, and just before they are about to fall asleep, Cas says, somewhat out of the blue, “I really do love you, Dean. I hope you know that.”

Dean pulls him closer, knowing this is the last night for a while that they’ll spend together. “I know, Cas, I do. I love you too.”

Cas snuggles closer to Dean and doesn’t say anything more, and eventually they drift off to sleep, tangled in each other’s arms.


	17. Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! So, here's the next chapter, hope you guys enjoy! School just started back, and I have an actual routine again, so I'm going to try to go back to posting consistently. Hopefully, I can update 1-2 times a week, or AT LEAST once every 2 weeks. I'll probably update on Fridays/weekends, but I may post during the week too. This is my fav fic, so I try to keep it updated as much as possible. Hope it works out!
> 
> Thanks to everyone who's still reading this! And, thanks to everyone who leaves kudos and comments, they make my day! And, to all of those who are just starting or have recently started reading this, welcome!!
> 
> As always, happy reading!!

The next day is pretty solemn. A somewhat sad silence hangs over them as they get ready for the day, knowing that they won’t be seeing each other much over the next two weeks, and even past that, they don’t know for sure. So, instead of talking about it, or acknowledging that fact, they just dance around the subject as if it’s as delicate as a feather. Dean’s phone rings around seven, and he answers, “Hello?”

“Hey, brother, I’m here if you all want to come on down.”

Dean smiles at Benny’s half-awake tone. “Sure, thing.” He hangs up, and he and Cas turn to leave. But, before they reach the door, Dean turns to Cas.

“Look, Cas...”

Cas raises his eyebrows and says, “I know. We’ll make it work somehow. We’re just not sure how yet.”

Dean smiles a small smile and shakes his head. “That’s not what I was going to say. I was going to say that, I was serious about spending Christmas together. I know...” he sighs. “I know that Anna and Charlie are back now, so it’ll be harder for us to spend any time together, but even if you have to sneak out... even if we _both_ have to sneak out, I still wanna see you and exchange gifts.”

Cas gives him an adorable smile before leaning forward and giving him a sweet peck on the cheek. “Sounds like a plan to me.”

Dean smiles at him, and they leave the apartment to go to school.

Benny is waiting in his car at the bottom of the stairs to Dean’s apartment, and Dean smiles to himself. Benny drew the short straw and got the Monday-Wednesday-Friday shift this week, and he’s done this all week. He usually comes up to knock on Dean’s door, but this whole week, he’s been “too tired” to walk up three flights. Dean gets it, though. Finals week isn’t only hard on the students. Do they really think they’re the only ones who procrastinate?

Dean helps Cas load his bag into the car, and then they get in. Benny nods his good mornings and drives off.

When they’re about five minutes away from where they drop Cas off, Benny speaks for the first time. “Well, aren’t you boys awfully quiet this mornin’?”

Dean huffs out a small laugh, and so does Cas, making Benny arch an eyebrow.

“Am I missing somethin?”

Dean releases a breath. “Anna and Charlie are back, so he’s going to go live with them,” he says, and Benny’s face fills with understanding.

“Ah, I see. That explains the bag.” They both nod, but no one says anything else. “Well, I’ll carry it in. We can put it in Dean’s room for the day, that way you don’t lug it around all day.”

Dean frowns slightly. “I can just carry it in, you don’t have to--”

Benny cuts him off. “Nah, I’ll do it. No one will question a gym teacher carrying a huge bag.”

Dean nods. “That’s true.”

Benny pulls off to where they drop Cas off and stops the car. “See ya around, Novak.”

“See ya,” he says as he opens the door to get out. Before he leaves, though, he says one more thing, “Thank you.”

Benny nods. “You’re welcome, kid.”

And, with that, Cas leaves and heads off to school. Dean watches him go silently.

A few minutes later, Benny pulls out of the parking lot and drives the rest of the way to school. He parks, and he and Dean get all their stuff out and start heading to the entrance. Benny stays with him when they would normally part ways, and Dean unlocks his door and flips on the light. “You can just put it over there,” he says to Benny, gesturing towards the back wall. Benny does just that and starts to leave, but he stops, looking his friend over, who is now sitting at his desk, staring off into space. He looks distracted and somewhat miserable.

“Dean?” Dean doesn’t look up, so Benny tries again, more loudly. “Dean!”

Dean looks up and meets Benny’s eyes. “Yeah, huh? What?”

Benny almost laughs at Dean’s awkward response and steps closer to his desk. “Pull it together, man. You look like an abused puppy.” Dean scoffs at the comparison. “All I’m sayin is if you don’t want Charlie to be all up in your grill, I’d try to at least _pretend_ you aren’t dying on the inside.”

Dean laughs. “Haha, okay, okay, you’re right. You can stop with the melodramatic similes, please.”

Benny cracks a grin. “You sure? I got more.”

They both chuckle at that one. “Please, I’m good.”

“Whatever you say, brother,” Benny says and holds his hands up in surrender.

Charlie walks in, then and says, “How is it possible that I find my two best friends in the same room at the same time?”

Dean stands up at her approach, and Benny turns around. Benny hugs her first before she pulls away and latches on to Dean. “Hey,” he says. “How’s it feel to be back?”

Charlie pulls away and looks them both over. “Oh, it’s great. I mean, the time off was nice, but boy, is it good to be back! How are you guys? Anything crazy happen while I was gone?” She asks, overenthusiastically.

Benny cuts a quick glance to Dean, but answers Charlie’s question without pause, much to Dean’s appreciation. He laughs and says, “We’re high school teachers, Charlie. Nothing interestin happens to us _normally_.” She giggles and nods.

“I suppose that’s true.”

Benny nods and checks his watch. “Well, I’ve got to head to the gym to set up. See ya’ll later.” He pats Dean on the shoulder and hugs Charlie once more before leaving, much to Dean’s dismay.

The silence between Charlie and Dean drags on. _Great, good to see we didn’t lose the awkwardness while she was gone_ , Dean thinks sarcastically.

Charlie is the first to break the silence. “Thank you, Dean, really, for everything you did for me while I was gone. Seriously.”

Dean shrugs. “It’s no problem, honestly.”

She smiles and turns to leave the room as the warning bell for first period rings. Students start to flow into the classroom, but Dean can still hear her when she says, “Last day. Let’s do this.”

He smiles at her as she waves over her shoulder, but his smile fades when her back is finally to him. He slumps into his desk chair and sighs.

 _It’s the last day of a lot of things_.

*****

There are only two, two-hour blocks today, Dean’s fifth and sixth periods, and they drag on and on and on. But, eventually, finally, that final bell rings, and Dean is really glad because he got a lot done today. He actually finished his grades. So, he has nothing else to do for this semester. _Fuck yeah!_

His students are excitedly leaving the classroom when Cas stops by. He goes to the back of the room and grabs his bag. Then, when everyone is out of the room, he walks up to Dean’s desk and stops in front of it. “Hello,” he says.

Dean can’t help but smile. “Hey, how was your last day?” He knows Cas was worried about today. He had his physics final, and he wasn’t sure he’d pass.

But, Cas’s face lights up. “I think I passed! Better, I think I made an _A_! It was way easier than I thought it was going to be!”

Dean smiles. He’s proud. “Good. Good job.”

Cas smiles at him, but it slowly fades. He averts his gaze before saying, “I guess I’ll see you after break...”

Dean looks past Cas to make sure no one is lurking near by, listening in. Finding the coast clear, he says, “Hey, what did I say this morning?” Cas meets his gaze and shrugs. “We’re spending Christmas together, whether you like it or not.” Cas bites his bottom lip, trying to repress the smile, but _dammit_ , he can’t help it, and he smiles bashfully.

“Okay, good... See you then, then...”

And, with that, he turns to leave. It takes all of Dean’s restraint _not_ to stop him, say _I love you_ and kiss him goodbye. Cas throws one more glance over his shoulder before disappearing beyond the door.

Dean clenches his jaw and takes a deep breath. _Christmas... only a week away. We can do this._ He nods to himself and gets up to start packing up his stuff. He’s putting some books in his bag when his phone buzzes on his desk, and he looks down to see who it is. He smiles and feels his cheeks redden.

Cas: _I love you. See you on xmas._

Dean responds, _love you too._

Dean keeps the smile this time and continues packing his stuff up with his heart a little lighter. Benny stops by a few minutes later.

“You ready?”

Dean nods. “Yeah, just about.” He slings his bag over his shoulder and grabs his other stuff. He does a quick survey of his desk and the room to make sure he hasn’t forgotten anything. Since he doesn’t see anything out of place, he follows Benny out of the room.

And, they run right into Charlie, who’s heading _into_ Dean’s room.

“Oh, sorry!” They all say in unison, and then they laugh a little harder than necessary.

“Haha, sorry, Charlie. We were just leaving. Did you need something from me?” Dean asks.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you both!” She’s very excited today, and it’s just a little too much. “What are you guys doing for Christmas?”

Dean swallows. Benny answers first. “Nothin, really. No plans.” Most of Benny’s family is dead or distant, so he usually comes over to Dean’s and celebrates with him and Sam. They haven’t talked about it yet this year, but they both assumed it was happening anyway.

Charlie moves her eyes to Dean. “What about you? Is Sam coming up?”

Dean clears his throat before answering. “Uh, yeah. He’s bringing up his new girlfriend, and we were going to have dinner and what not, but we don’t really have any set-in-stone plans.”

Charlie nods excitedly. “Good, good! Anna and I want to have you all over for Christmas! We’ll have dinner and exchange gifts and get drunk and play games, it’ll be great!”

Benny nods and whoops in agreement. “Hell yeah! Count me in,” he says.

Dean nods. “Yeah, sounds good.”

“Good! So, Anna and her brother will be there, obviously, too, but since you guys don’t know them very well, there’s no need to get them presents. They understand.”

Both Benny and Dean are quiet for a little too long, but Charlie is too excited to really notice. Dean speaks first. “We can still get them something small.” He already has an idea for Cas.

Charlie waves him off. “Oh, no, it’s totally okay. Anna actually said _not_ to get them gifts because they aren’t planning to get you guys gifts, so if you get them something and they don’t get you guys something, she’s going to feel so bad.”

Dean nods in understanding, but he wants to object. Thankfully, Benny butts in. “That makes sense... Hey, since the whole gift exchange is optional anyway, that means I can skip yours, right?” He laughs when Charlie cuts him a glare.

And, Dean’s really grateful right then to have a friend like Benny. He changed the subject so subtly and got the attention off Dean so that Charlie can’t tell something’s up. Best friend ever. Besides, what are best friends for if not to help you lie to the other best friend? _God, I’m a horrible person_. He shakes his head and laughs at himself.

Benny, Charlie, and him chat for a few more minutes, going over what time to come over and what to bring, yadda yadda yadda, and then, Dean and Benny head out.

The ride is pretty normal. They talk about the get-together and avoid the topic neither of them wants to think about, and before they know it, they’re at Dean’s apartment.

Dean gets out and says, “See you on Christmas, I guess.”

Benny smiles and waves. “Yup. See ya on Christmas!”

Dean closes the door and watches as Benny pulls away and speeds off. He walks up to his apartment and drops his stuff when he gets inside. It’s oddly quiet, compared to the past two weeks, and he sighs. _Better get used to it_. He gets a beer and drops in front of the TV. He flips it on and channel surfs until he finds something agreeable. He takes a swig of his beer and watches the show absent-mindedly.

He shouldn’t be this sad. He shouldn’t miss Cas this much. But, he does, and he can’t explain it.

He finishes his beer and gets another, wallowing in his longing for Cas.

About ten minutes later, his phone buzzes, and he looks down excitedly.

Cas: _Anna has been bugging me all day about who I stayed with and how she wants to thank them and all that shit. And i’m just like whyyyyy???? She also wants us to go to some gov office tmrw to legally switch her to be my legal guardian even though I’m 18, and i am again like whyyyyy???? but whatever, it is how it is._

Dean smiles at the text and his use of “whyyyy.” He responds, _Haha, damn, she sounds just awful. Worst sister ever... Not._

Cas: _and Charlie is kinda being weird. she’s really nice and everything but she also looks at me like a wounded puppy... i don’t like that._

Dean frowns slightly. Dean: _Hmm... maybe she thinks she knows what happened to you._

Cas: _but she doesn’t. and even if what she’s thinking is correct, she still has no reason to treat me like a two year old, wounded animal._

Dean: _That’s true_

Cas: _Like, I asked them if i could spend the night at a friend’s house tonight ;) and they BOTH_ _jumped down my throat, like “why would you want to do that?” and “i don’t know if that’s the best idea...” and “we just got back, don’t you want to spend time with us?”_

Dean’s not sure how to respond, but while he’s thinking, Cas sends another text.

Cas: _But, really, i just want to scream “I didn’t see you before you left! why do we have to act like this is how it’s always been?!?!?!” idk... i just think they’re gonna be even more strict than my parents._

Dean: _Damn._

Cas: _Yeah, but whatever. *sigh* At least we don’t have to sneak out to see each other for xmas, right?_

Dean: _So they told you?_

Cas: _Yup. what exactly are we going to do? pretend that we don’t have gifts for each other and then meet secretly to give them to each other? like????_

Dean laughs at Cas’s ability to send an entire text of just questions.

Dean: _uh-huh_

Cas: _glad to see we’re on the same page_

Dean: _me too_

Cas: _so, are you as bored as i am? cause i’m sitting here watching tv, but i’m also like this is lame. i have no one to cuddle with._

Dean ~~laughs~~  giggles... whatever.

Dean: _same_

Cas: _this is gonna be a loooonnnnngggg week._

Dean: _agreed_

Cas: _i wish they’d just let me leave b/c i really don’t feel like sneaking out... too much work. and i wouldn’t be able to stay the whole night._

Dean: _yeah, then what’s the point?_

Cas: _Exactly!_

Dean snorts.

Cas: _i gtg. they’re calling me for dinner... i’ll ttyl_

Dean: _talk to you later, sugar_

Dean smiles and shakes his head. _That is the man I fell in love with... how? I may never know._


	18. Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a bit of fluff and angst! Woot woot! So, I'll try to post the next chapter tomorrow b/c I'm already working on it, so keep your fingers crossed and hope that I don't have too much school stuff to do tomorrow!
> 
> Thanks, as always, for reading! Enjoy!!!

It’s December 23, and Dean is freaking out. Why? He really doesn’t know, but he is. Maybe it’s because Sam and his girlfriend are coming today, and they plan to stay with him, and even though he was expecting them, he made plans with Cas to exchange gifts today because he thought Sam and his girlfriend were going to stay in a hotel. And, it’s not like Sam’s not welcome, he just really, _really_ wants to see Cas and give him his gift because he isn’t sure if they’re going to see much of each other after Christmas, and he misses him and he hasn’t been laid in over a week, and he can’t relieve himself because nothing feels as good as--

_BZZZZZZZ_

“Fuck,” he mutters under his breath. _That would be Sam_. He buzzes them up, and before you know it, Sam’s knocking on the door.

Dean takes a deep breath to settle himself before going to answer the door. He plasters a smile on his face and swings it open. And, once he sees his little brother, he no longer has to fake his smile because it’s been too damn long since they’ve seen each other. “Well, hiya, Sammy!”

“Hey, Dean,” Sam says as he brings Dean in for a tight embrace. They pull apart and clap each other on the shoulders before moving the rest of the way inside. “Dean, this is Ruby, my girlfriend.”

The girl standing next to Sam holds out her hand and smiles. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Dean shakes her hand and nods. “Nice to meet you too.”

After they release each other’s hands, an awkward silence falls around them. Dean shuffles on his feet, uncomfortable. _This never happened with Jess_.

“So, uh, I’ve got you guys set up in the guest-room, just down here.” He starts walking down the hall and motions them to follow. Sam knows where it is, but Dean leads them to it anyway. He opens the door next to the half-bath and says, “I put some fresh sheets on there, and I bought some new pillows, so... yeah, everything should be good to go.”

“Thanks, man,” Sam says. He takes their bags into the room and sets them next to the dresser.

“No problem.”

Again, another awkward silence falls.

Ruby clears her throat. “So, I’m starving. We’ve been travelling all day. You know of any good burger joints around here?”

Dean smirks. “Sure, there’s a great place up the road that I’m sure Sam would love to go to. Harvelle’s. Best burgers and fries in town. And, the best whiskey, if I do say so myself.”

Sam smiles. “How are they doing?”

“Haven’t really talked to them in a while, but I think they’re doing well.”

Sam nods. “Good... Let’s go there. Sound good, Ruby?”

“Sure thing, but do you guys mind if I freshen up a bit? I am in dire need of a shower.”

“Yeah, no problem,” Dean says. “The shower is in my bathroom down the hall, you have to go through the master to get to it. There’s fresh towels in the cabinet next to the sink.”

“Okay, thanks. Give me twenty minutes.”

Ruby goes off to shower, and Sam and Dean settle on the couch to catch up. They don’t talk about much at first. They just do the normal, _how’s school? how are classes? how’s teaching? how’s Charlie? how's Benny? blah, blah, blah..._

It’s only when they pause to catch their breath from laughing that Sam asks, “So, are you seeing anyone?” If Dean were drinking something, he would have choked. And, before he has time to respond, Sam continues. “You’ve just been checking your phone as if you’re expecting someone to call or text. The only other time I saw you do that was when you were first dating Cassie, and even then, it wasn’t _that_ much.”

Dean can feel the heat rising to his cheeks. _God damn, my fucking cheeks are going to betray me._  “Am I that obvious?” He doesn’t bother denying it. It’s _Sam_ for crying out loud.

Sam laughs. “Ha! I knew it!” Dean’s cheeks redden even more. “Why don’t you invite her for dinner?”

“Him,” Dean corrects.

“Fine. Him. Why don’t you invite _him_ to dinner?”

Dean smiles sadly and shakes his head. “I can’t.”

Sam frowns. “What? Why not? You don’t want me to meet him?”

Dean snorts. “No, no, you’d like him. It’s just...”

“Just what?”

Dean sighs. “He’s busy today, okay?” Sam gives him a wary look. “It’s true!”

“Fine. Will I get to meet him on this trip?”

Dean closes his eyes. _Technically, yes... you just won’t meet him as my boyfriend._

Sam takes Dean’s silence as a no and sighs. “I guess I can meet him next time. But, who the hell knows when that will be?”

“It’s new, Sam... we’re not really... _out_ yet, as a couple, I mean, so I can’t really ask him to meet my family yet... It just--it wouldn’t be fair.”

Sam nods. “Okay. I get that.”

Dean gives him a small smile when Ruby walks out of the master bedroom, ready to go. “All right, this is as primped and pampered that you’ll ever see me, Dean, so don’t get used to it.”

Dean chuckles because she’s really not all that dressed up. She’s wearing a nice pair of dark jeans with black boots and a nice gray shirt. She’s wearing just a smidge of makeup, but she really doesn’t need it. “Okie dokie, princess.” Sam cuts him a playful glare, and Dean laughs. “You guys ready to go?” They nod, just as Dean’s buzzer goes off. He frowns and pushes the speaker button. “Hello?” He’s not expecting anyone. He cancelled with Cas.

“Hey, Dean. It’s me and Anna, can we come up?”

_Shit, why?_ Dean is thinking of something to say when Sam answers for him. “Hey, Charlie!”

She squeals on the other end. “Eeeeeek! Sam! I didn’t know you were coming in today!”

He laughs. “Well, I aim to surprise. We’re actually heading to dinner, so we’ll be down in a sec.”

“Awesome!”

Dean turns off the speaker and gets his keys.

“Is it okay if they come with us? I haven’t seen Charlie in ages,” Dean hears Sam say somewhere off in the distance.

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” he says dismissively. Without another word, they head downstairs to meet Charlie and Anna...

And Cas. Of _fucking_ course.

“Hey, guys!” Charlie squeals and hugs Sam tightly. Anna and Cas wait patiently to be introduced. Cas avoids Dean’s eyes, and Dean does the same. “Sam, this is Anna, my fiancee, and her brother, Castiel.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Charlie has told me so much about you.” They shake hands and smile and exchange how-do-you-do’s.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you. This is my girlfriend, Ruby.”

“Hi,” Ruby offers a wave and a smile.

“You guys want to come to Harvelle’s with us?” Sam asks.

Charlie’s eyes light up, and Cas and Dean’s meet. They’re both thinking, _please say no_. But, she excitedly says, “Yes, of course! I haven’t seen them in forever!”

“Awesome,” Sam says.

Everyone has a smile on his face except for Cas and Dean. Cas looks uncomfortable and a little annoyed, and Dean is trying to look unaffected but he’s failing. He also looks uncomfortable and a little annoyed. “Hey, why don’t you and Ruby ride with us? I’d love to catch up!”

_Seriously, it’s as if I’m not even here_.

“We can’t fit five people in your car,” Cas’s voice surprises everyone, not only because it’s deep and resonating, but because he sounds almost condescending. Dean has to fight not to laugh. Cas could be a real ~~s~~ ass sometimes.

Charlie and Anna both cut him glares, and Dean sees what Cas was talking about the other night. Thankfully, Sam, ever the peacekeeper, offers up a solution... that makes everyone happy. He shrugs. “You could always ride with Dean.”

Dean doubts anyone else notices because his facial expression doesn’t change in the slightest, but Cas’s eyes light up at that suggestion.

Charlie, however, is quick to say, “I don’t know... maybe, we should just ride with how we were originally.”

“I don’t mind riding with Mr. Winchester.”

Dean bites his tongue before saying something stupid like, _yeah, I don’t mind if he rides me either..._

“No need to get all polite, kid, you can call him Dean,” Sam says.

“Castiel is actually Dean’s student, force of habit,” Anna says for him.

“Oh, well, he said he was fine with it,” Sam says. Charlie and Anna still looks doubtful, so Sam says, “I really want to catch up with you, anyway, it’s only a ten minute drive.”

Anna nods. “You’re right, he says he’s okay with it.” Charlie nods too, and they all start to walk off to their cars.

Dean is half-way to the Impala when he stops and says, “I forgot my phone. You guys go on, I’ll only be a minute.”

“Okay, meet you there!” Sam yells after Dean starts jogging back to his apartment. He runs up the steps, goes inside, grabs Cas’s gift, stuffs it in his coat pocket and jogs back to the parking lot. Charlie, Sam, and the rest of them are just then pulling out onto the road as he returns. Once they’re around the corner, Dean smiles at Cas, who raises his eyebrows suspiciously. “Your phone was in your pocket.”

Dean smirks. _He was checking me out_. “Yeah, that’s not what I went to get.”

Cas raises an eyebrow. “Oh, really?”

“Really.” He doesn’t say anything else and unlocks the car. They get in, and Dean starts it up because it’s freezing, but he doesn’t go anywhere, not yet.

He turns to Cas and grabs his coat collar and pulls him in close and smashes their lips together. Cas sinks against him and returns the kiss happily. They pull apart only a few seconds later, breathing heavily.

“God, I missed that,” Dean says.

Cas smiles bashfully and looks away. “Me too.”

Dean’s heart does a flip-flop as he looks him over. Then, he says, “I have your present.”

Cas faces him again. “I have yours too.” Dean smiles and pulls it out of his coat pocket. He hands it to Cas as Cas hands him his.

“It’s not the best thing in the world... but I thought you’d like it.”

“I’m sure it’ll be great. Why don’t you open yours first?”

Cas doesn’t say anything, just looks down at the small present in his hand. Carefully, he unwraps it to find a small box. He opens it, and Dean watches as his eyes light up. “Dean... I...” he trails off, not knowing what to say.

“It was my mom’s dad’s. I never met him, but that was his. She always said that it was her lucky charm. He gave it to her when he died, and she left it to me when she died, and... I just... I wanted you to have it.”

“Dean, I can’t take this. It’s a family heirloom, and--”

Dean cuts him off. “My mom told me to give it to the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with. She said to give it to the person I love.” Dean looks down at the upholstery as he finishes. “And, it just so happens that that person is you, so I want you to have it. Whether you like it or not.”

Cas doesn’t say anything else. He just takes the necklace out of the box and admires it. The single charm hangs off a silver chain, big enough to fit over Cas’s head. He puts it on and smiles at Dean. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Now your turn.”

Dean smiles and opens his present. He’s not quite as gentle as Cas was, but he gets the job done, just the same. He, too, has a small jewelry-like box to open, and when he does, he gasps. Inside are two silver-plated cufflinks, encrusted with his birthstone. He shakes his head. “Cas...” _It’s too much, too expensive_...

“I had some money saved up, _and_ I found those on sale, so you don’t get to say they’re too expensive.”

Dean looks up at him with a relaxed smile on his face. “Do you always know what I’m thinking?”

Cas chuckles. “Do you like them?”

Dean looks down at them again. “Cas, I love them. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Dean leans over and gives him another kiss. Then, he pulls away and closes the box. “All right, we’ve gotta get going, or we’ll be late.”

Cas settles back into his seat and buckles up as Dean pulls out of his space and heads off in the direction of Harvelle’s. Cas turns the radio on and the volume up, and they drive the rest of the way singing loudly and off-key with smiles on their faces.


	19. Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here is the next chapter! I had a busy week, sorry I couldn't get it to you sooner!
> 
> Happy reading!

Ten minutes later, they pull into Harvelle’s parking lot, and Dean cuts the engine. He and Cas are both smiling, ear to ear as they get out of the car and walk inside. Jo hollers when she sees Dean. “Dean’s here, everyone!”

“Ayy!” is everyone’s response. Dean blushes and gives a small wave, then finds where Sam and the rest of their group is sitting, and he and Cas make a bee-line for them. Sam waves him over.

“I saved you a seat.”

Dean sits down next to his brother and says, “Thanks.”

Cas sits across from him in the seat Anna saved for him. “What held you guys up?” Anna asks.

Dean frowns and subtlely checks his watch. _We were careful, thought we only spent a few minutes exchanging gifts..._ Cas comes to the rescue. “He couldn’t find his phone. Took him a few minutes.”

Everyone nods in understanding when Dean hears, “Well, well, well, if it isn’t Dean and Sam Winchester.”

Dean and Sam both turn around with smiles on their faces. “Ellen! How are you?” Sam asks excitedly.

Ellen smiles and comes over to their table. “I’m good. How are you? I hear you’re in law school now.” Sam nods. “I’m glad. Dean’s been talkin you up, woulda been a shame if he were lying.” They both laugh when Ellen catches a glimpse of Ruby. “And, who might this be?”

Ruby offers her hand and says, “I’m Ruby, Sam’s girlfriend.”

Ellen takes her hand and shakes it. “Firm grip you got there, girl... Nicely done, Sam.” Sam blushes and turns back to the table. Ellen smiles ruefully and looks out at the rest of the table. “Is that Charlie? Boy, how I’ve missed you.”

Charlie smiles brightly. “I’ve missed you too. I’d like you to meet my fiancee, Anna, and her brother, Castiel.” Ellen leans over the table to shake their hands.

“Look at this, everyone’s got a girlfriend, isn’t that something?” She smiles at them all as if they were her own kids before she addresses the table as a whole. “All right, well, let’s get food and drink orders, shall we?”

Ellen goes around the table getting everybody’s order, coming to Dean last. “I’ll have the usual, Ellen.”

She shakes her head and says, “Honey, I wasn’t getting your order, I had it written down first.” He smirks at that. _Of course, she did_. “I’m here for a hug. It’s been too damn long, honey.”

He laughs and stands up to give her a hug. It’s quick and loose, but it’s comforting and warming all the same. And, just as they are about to disentangle themselves from each other Jo sneaks up behind them yelling, “Dean sandwich!” and crushes him between her and her mother.

He laughs and mockingly says, “Can’t... br-breathe...” He inhales weakly a few times for effect, sending Jo into a fit of giggles and she releases him.

He’s still smiling when he sits down, and Ellen and Jo leave them be. Dean feels Cas’s gaze on him, and when he meets it, he smiles wider. They hold the gaze for a few seconds before remembering they’re in public and averting their eyes.

Then, the small-talk ensues. Lots of questions go back in forth between Sam and Anna, and Charlie and Ruby, and for the most part, Dean and Cas remain quiet. Dean pipes up and asks questions occasionally, but for the most part, he just listens. He knows a lot about Anna already, and most of it is from what Cas told him. And, as far as Ruby goes, he doesn’t have many questions for her. Sam has mentioned her to him before. She’s been a friend of his for a few years now, but they only recently started dating, which he knew. So, he’s really not that curious.

After about fifteen minutes, the food finally arrives, and Dean digs into his burger as soon as it’s placed in front of him.

“This one got the same thing as you, Dean. Never thought I’d see the day when I made two of those orders,” Ellen says as she puts Cas’s plate down.

Dean looks up, and Cas gives him a half smile. Dean swallows his food before saying, “Bacon cheeseburger with a slice of cheese both under and on top of the bacon, ketchup on the top bun, bbq on the bottom, and two slices of tomato, one on top of the burger and one below?”

Cas smiles as he explains it to be sure and nods. “Exactly how I like my BLT’s, bacon, extra cheese, tomato, and--”

“Hold the lettuce,” Dean finishes with a _who’da thunk it_ snort.

Ellen chuckled. “Ash thought you had made a double order.”

Dean chuckles. “Apparently not.”

Ellen shakes her head and asks, “Anyone need anything else?”

Everyone shakes their head, and Ellen leaves. They all dig into their meals. Dean savors the taste of his juicy burger. He _loves_ a good burger.

But, when Sam says, “So, Charlie, do you know this guy Dean’s dating,” he nearly chokes. Sam pats him on the back as he hacks up a lung and avoids Cas’s eyes at _all_ costs. “You okay, Dean?”

Dean gives him a small glare and sips his whiskey. “Yeah, just didn’t realize the dinner conversation switched to my love life.”

Charlie chuckles and answers Sam’s question. “I wasn’t aware he was dating someone.”

Dean groans internally as Sam gives him a playful _oh really?_ look. “It’s new...” he admits.

Charlie squeals. “Dean! You could have at least told me!”

The anger Dean has been able to beat down over the past few weeks was ignited by her excitement. “Yeah, well, at least it hasn’t been two years yet.”

A thick, tense silence falls over the table.Charlie tries to defend herself--and Anna--but it’s no use. “I told you why--”

“Ever think I might not _want_ to tell you? Either of you?” He looks at Sam too because, _fuck him, he brought it up_. They look back at him with confused, slightly pained expressions, and he just can’t take it. He throws his napkin on the table and stands up. “I need some air,” he says as he leaves the table. He walks out of the bar, the crisp air feeling like a warm embrace. He takes a deep breath and walks a few paces down the sidewalk and sits down, his head falling into his hands.

 _Why, why, why does she not see the hypocrisy?_ He shakes his head and sighs. Honestly, he feels like crying. But, he’s not going to. Not in public, he hasn’t done that in years. Instead, he just sits there until he simmers down, and then he sits there some more as the guilt washes over him. _I’m an idiot_.

He jumps when he feels a warm body sit next to him. He looks up and to his left and who he finds there, surprises him.

“For the record, I’m on your side,” Anna says. She doesn’t look at him. She’s looking out over the dim parking lot with her hands in her pockets.

He frowns and shakes his head. “Why?”

She shrugs. “I’ve never liked living in the shadows. Sure, I didn’t come out to my parents until three weeks ago, but I was out to all my friends, and in day-to-day life, I never lied about my sexuality. But, when he...” She trails off, and Dean understands what she’s talking about. “I was _forced_ into the shadows. And, when I met Charlie, we just... fell in love. We didn’t plan it. We never even dated, not really.” She pauses for a moment and brushes some hair out of her face. Dean stays silent because he’s pretty sure she’s not done. “And, once we became official--I guess, that’s the right word--I really wanted to meet her friends. I wanted to go on dates and have fun, but Charlie... she was a little over-protective. A little paranoid. So, I waited for her to be comfortable to tell our friends.” Anna looks over at him, then. “I’m sorry that it put so much weight on your friendship with her. And, I get it. I get not wanting to tell anyone yet... Just... when you get to that point, where you _do_ want to tell people, tell the world. Because, Dean, when you love someone, it’s hard to keep it a secret.”

He nods slowly and looks away from her. She pats him on the shoulder and stands up. Then, she’s gone. Dean closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He stands up, brushes off his jeans, and walks back into the bar. When he gets back to the table, Anna and Charlie are whispering in hushed, slightly angry tones, but they shut up as he sits back down. Dean leans over to Sam and says, “I’m sorry... I just got a little upset. I overreacted.”

Sam looks at him and gives him a small nod of acceptance, then goes back to his food. Dean turns back to his food and starts eating again when he notices Cas is gone. He frowns slightly but doesn’t say anything, _probably just went to the bathroom_. Then, he feels his pocket buzz a few times. He pulls his phone out and looks at it discretely.

Cas: _Are you ok?_

Cas: _I’m sorry that happened_

Cas: _I wish I could have gone after you..._

Dean smiles down at his lap, and Sam says, “That him?”

Dean looks up quickly and locks his phone. “What? Huh?”

Sam chuckles. “If you don’t want me to meet him yet, that’s fine, Dean. I’m sorry I brought it up.”

“It’s fine, Sammy.”

Sam huffs out a laugh and goes back to eating and making small talk while Dean responds to Cas’s text.

Dean: _I’m fine. Come back to the table... I’m missing that pretty face._

Not thirty seconds later Cas slides back into his seat. He and Dean lock eyes for a moment before averting their eyes and returning to their meals.

From there, the night goes relatively normally. Everyone tries to forget and ignore the little disturbance, and they all end up having a good time. They stay past closing, and Ellen, Jo, and Ash all join them for dessert. Around midnight, Sam suggests a drinking game. To which everyone joyously agrees. Except Cas, that is. “I, uh, can’t drink, remember?”

Anna raises an eyebrow at him. “You’re telling me you’ve never drank any alcohol before?”

Cas’s cheeks redden. “I’m not saying that... I’m just saying.”

Everyone laughs at his adorableness. Or, at least that’s what Dean was laughing at. 

“Besides, someone has to be sober enough to drive you home,” he says. Anna and Charlie giggle drunkenly and nod.

“I guess you’re right,” Anna slurs out.

Jo starts setting up for the game, and Dean waves her off when she puts a glass in front of him. “Count me out,” he says, and she pouts mockingly.

“You don’t want to play? You’d wipe the floor with this lot.” She gestures to the rest of the table, who are mostly halfway between drunk and completely wasted. And, normally, he  _ would _ play and wipe the floor with them. But, tonight, he had to drive. Sam and Ruby were too far gone to even think about driving. So, Dean had to be the responsible adult in all this.

“Yeah. Cas is right. Someone’s gotta be sober enough to drive.”

“Cas?” Charlie pipes up.

_ Oops, I slipped up, shit. _ “He doesn’t like nicknames,” Anna chimes in. 

“I don’t--” Cas starts to speak up, probably to defend Dean’s nicknaming, but Anna cuts him off. 

“Castiel, you don’t have to be polite about it. We all know you hate nicknames. It’s okay to tell people you don’t like being called something.”

Cas opens his mouth to say something else, but Charlie beats him to it. “Your sister is right. Plus, Dean’s gonna be like family once we get married, so you’ll have to get comfortable with him at some point.”

Cas stands up suddenly, red in the face. “Ugh! Will you guys stop pretending that you knew me before all this happened?” He screams at them, and everyone goes quiet. “I barely spoke to you, Anna, and Charlie, Ms. Bradbury, whatever I’m supposed to call you now, I’d never spoken more than three words to you! So, would you please stop acting like you know me?” The two girls look up at him with hurt expressions, but they have no effect on Cas. He shakes his head and walks away. “I need a minute, sorry,” he mutters. He walks out of the restaurant, much like Dean did earlier, and Dean watches him go, wishing he could run after him and pull him into his arms and tell him it was all okay, and that they were just looking out for him. But, he stays glued to his seat. 

“He’s a bit of a handful, huh?” Dean isn’t sure who said it, but he heard it. And, then he hears Charlie and Anna’s grunts of agreement. 

“He’s going through a rough time,” Dean blurts defensively.  _ Cool it,  _ he thinks to himself. 

Anna and Charlie look up at him and frown slightly, not suspiciously, just confused. Charlie has told him a little bit about his situation, just not all the details, because she doesn’t know all of them. And, she doesn’t know that he does... “You don’t know the half of it,” Anna mutters. 

“I’ve got some idea.”  _ Dammit, you’re just gonna dig this hole a little deeper huh? Why don’t you just go the whole six feet, why stop here? _ He chastises himself and bites his tongue.

“You really don’t know what you’re talking about, Dean. Why don’t you just lay off?” That’s Charlie and her nice way of saying shut up. But, of course, he can’t.

“I know more than you think.” He gets up and, while thinking  _ oh, fuck it _ , goes to find Cas. 

He goes outside and looks around until he spots Cas not too far from where he was sitting earlier. He walks up to him and sits next to him. Cas doesn’t look at him, but he says, “You shouldn’t be out here.”

Dean shrugs. “What can I say? You’re stronger than me in the  _ let’s-watch-the-person-we-love-storm-off-and-act-like-we-don’t-care  _ department.”

Cas chuckles softly but still doesn’t look at him. “I’m serious, Dean.”

“I am too.” That gets Cas to at least turn his head. 

“Why’d you come out here? Really?”

Dean sighs. “They started talking about you... not necessarily in a bad way, just that you were a handful... I kind of jumped to your defense. Said you were going through a bad time. And, then I was told I knew nothing about the matter when really... I’m the only person in that room who knows what really happened. I’m the only person in that room who knows what he did to you, and I’m the person who was there for you... And, they looked me in the eyes and told me I didn’t know what I was talking about, so... I walked out. Because I just couldn’t take it anymore.”

Cas sighs and scoots closer to Dean. “Yeah, well, I am a handful. It’s not fair to them that I--”

Dean cuts him off. “Yeah, well, boo-hoo. They didn’t have to take you in. But, they insisted. They should have known it wouldn’t have been easy.”

“Exactly.” Cas sighs again and rests his head on Dean’s shoulder. “What were they expecting from a hormone-crazed teenager such as myself?”

Dean huffs out a laugh. “I’ll tell you one thing. I didn’t know what to expect when I took you in... I mean, sex three, sometimes  _ four _ times a day? _Sheesh_ , you were exhausting!”

Cas laughs and sits up, pushing Dean’s shoulder lightly. “I wasn’t  _ that _ bad!”

“Oh, there’s nothing bad about it, sugar.”

“And, you wanted it.”

Dean smiles because Cas could be really cute when he was on the defensive. “I did.”

Cas smiles and finally meets Dean’s eyes. “I’m sorry about what happened in there.”

Dean sobers up a little and says, “Oh, Cas, it wasn’t your fault. You just lashed out. I get it, trust me.  _ I _ get it.”

“I should say sorry to everybody else, though.”

“Yeah.”

Neither of them move, not at first. After a few moments, Cas scoots even closer to Dean and rests his head on his shoulder once again. He takes a deep breath and breathes in Dean’s scent. Dean subconsciously wraps an arm around him as the wind picks up. “But, that can wait for a minute,” he mutters as he snuggles into Dean’s warmth.

And, Dean sighs happily and pulls Cas tighter to him, thinking,  _ yeah, it can wait a few more minutes _ . So, they sit there and gaze at the stars until their eyes start to droop and before either of them know it, they’re fast asleep, tangled in each other’s arms underneath the stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all are enjoying the fluff and angst! One of the next few chapters will bound to be smutty again, but it may take a little time before they have a chance to get to it again...
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading!!!


	20. Twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! So, I know it's been more than a week since I last updated, but I've been SUPER busy with school and stuff. I've had two quizzes and a test already this week and it's only Wednesday :/ and I have another test on Friday, bleh... But, some of you are getting antsy, and I feel bad for not updating so here's a chapter! It's a little short, but it's better than nothing. I was planning on making it longer, but I didn't get a chance to work on it over the weekend, so I'll just post a longer chapter this weekend! 
> 
> Thanks for reading and enjoy!!

Dean wakes up when it starts to rain. He blinks his eyes open as a few drops fall on his face. Then, it picks up and it’s pouring, so he nudges Cas, who groans and curls in closer to Dean. And, as much as Dean wants to stay just like that forever, he doesn’t want to get pneumonia. So, he nudges Cas again and says, “It’s raining.”

Cas groans again but sits up. He wipes his eyes and yawns. “What time is it?”

Dean shrugs as he sits up and scoots back out of the rain. He takes out his phone and looks at it. “It’s almost two.”  _ Damn, it’s late _ .

Cas sighs and stands up. “Well, we should probably go back inside.”

Dean nods and gets up. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Slowly, they make their way back into Harvelle’s. Inside, they find Charlie and Anna curled up together on a couch, sleeping; Ash is passed out on top of the bar, Ellen is pouring shots for the people still in the game. Jo, Ruby, and Sam are still playing. Looks like Ruby might even be winning.  _ I didn’t give her enough credit _ . Sam looks up at their approach. 

“Heyyyyyy!” He screams and wakes up Charlie and Anna in the process. “Were wondering when you’wud beback,” he slurs out loudly. Dean fights not to laugh.

“I think it’s time, we go, little brother.”

Sam pouts and says, “Noooooo, we were justabout to win!” Ruby and Jo giggle at his whiny tone.

Ellen caps off the liquor and shrugs. “I think Dean’s right. Time to stop for the night.”

The three of them--Jo, Ruby, and Sam--groan, but they don’t protest anymore. Ruby and Sam stand up and hug Jo and Ellen goodbye. Dean’s surprised they can stand, to be honest, with how wasted they both are. But, they both manage to walk and they make their way to the Impala. Dean helps them into the backseat and helps them with their seatbelts. Then, he closes the door. He’s about to leave when Ellen yells from the door, “Come help this boy with the other two!” 

He chuckles and does as he’s told. Apparently Charlie and Anna can’t walk as well as Sam and Ruby when they’re drunk. He goes inside and finds Charlie sitting in a chair pouting. “What’s the matter, Charlie?”

She looks up at him and scowls. “I don’t remember how to walk.”

He tries not to laugh, but he’s unsuccessful, and she scowls even more. “I’m sorry. Why don’t I help you?”

“That would be nice.” 

He snorts again but doesn’t say anything else. He just picks her up, and she throws her arms around his neck. He takes her out to her car and puts her in the backseat. He buckles her seatbelt and goes back in for Anna. Cas is trying to help her walk, but he’s struggling. Dean rushes up and takes Anna’s other side. “Let me help you,” he says.

“Thanks, Dean,” Cas says, very much relieved. 

Anna giggles as they help her out to the car, but no one really knows why. They ignore it and put her in the back with Charlie. They do her seatbelt and close the door. Then, they stand and face each other, both wanting to say goodbye properly but knowing they can’t.

“See ya on Christmas,” Cas whispers.

“See ya on Christmas,” Dean whispers back. 

They give each other a cute small smile and go their separate ways. Cas gets in Charlie’s car, starts it up, and drives off. Dean watches him before walking back to the Impala. But, before he gets there, Ellen beckons to him again. “Dean! One more thing before you go!”

He jogs up to her and asks, “What’s up?” 

She steps out of the bar and says, “You caught a good one.”

Dean frowns and shakes his head confused. “What?”

“He seems nice, seems good for you.”

“Ellen, what are you--” he stops talking when realization hits.  _ How did she know? Am I that transparent? _

“I saw you two sleeping out here. I came out to see if you guys were okay because ya’ll had been gone for a while, and you two were just... sleeping.” She smiles at him. “I didn’t say anything to anybody else, just came in and sat down, but Dean... I could tell the moment you walked out something was different between you two. That there was more.”

Dean sighs. “Ellen, please, don’t--” she holds up a hand and cuts him off.

“I’m not going to go gossiping about who you’re screwing, Dean. That’s not what I do. But, why haven’t you told them?”

Dean bites his lip before saying, “He’s, uh, he’s in one of my classes... he’s eighteen, but...”

Ellen nods. “I see... how did that happen?”

Dean laughs and shakes his head. “Hell if I know... the first time we... it was just sex, but then... then, all this stuff happened with his family, and I helped him out, and... I don’t know, Ellen, I fell for him.”

It was her turn to laugh. “Haha, oh, boy. Never thought I’d see the day when the mighty heart of Dean Winchester would be stolen.” He chuckles with her nervously. Then she says, “Nor did I think I’d think he was worthy of you, Dean.” He meets her eyes, and she smiles sweetly. “You’ve had some rough times, Dean. And, I wasn’t sure you’d ever meet someone who was... equal to you. Who was as deserving of your love as you were of theirs.”

Dean chuckles. “You just met him.”

She smirks. “I could tell, Dean. I could just tell.”

He hugs her tightly and whispers, “Thanks, Ellen, it means a lot.”

She hugs him back and then pulls away. “You’re welcome, Dean. I love you, you remember that. Now, get on home. Have a good Christmas.”

He smiles at her again and says, “I will. Love you too.”

With that, he turns and walks across the parking lot in the rain to his Impala. He starts it up and drives away.  _ Maybe telling Anna and Charlie won’t be so bad... Everyone else has been okay so far... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for it being short! Check back on Saturday/Sunday for the next chapter, which is hopefully much much longer! XD


	21. Twenty-One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovelies!!! I hope you all like this chapter, and I hope it makes up for my lazy updating as of late. I hope this week will be better. I don't have a billion tests like I did last week, so I should be able to update some time either during the week or on schedule on the weekend. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Enjoy!!!!

“Ah, yeah, right _there_...” Dean pants against the bed spread as Cas pushes his fingers deeper. He’s _so_ close. “Come on, just-- _hnng_.” He cuts himself off as Cas’s fingers brush against his sweet spot.

“What do you need, Dean?” Cas asks, voice raspy. This is affecting him as much as it is Dean.

“I need you to fuck me.”

Cas groans and removes his fingers. Dean hears the condom wrapper rip as Cas rolls it on-- _since when doesn’t he need me to help him?_ \--and then he slams into Dean in one go. Dean groans and his eyes flutter closed from the pleasure...

“Dean!” Sam yells.

_What the--?_

“Dean! Are you ever going to get up?” Sam knocks on his door.

Dean opens his eyes and groans out of frustration. _Just a dream..._ He sits up and tries to will away his half-erection.

“Dean?” Sam says again.

Dean looks over at the clock, wondering why the fuck Sam is waking him up, and then jumps right out of bed and rushes to his closet. _Dammit, we’re gonna be late. Shit, shit, shit..._ “Gimme a second, Sammy. I just gotta get dressed... I didn’t mean to sleep that long.”

“Okay, I lost track of the time too... Sorry I didn’t get you up earlier.”

Dean rummages through his closet for a nice dress shirt and some dress pants. He throws them on quickly and decides against a tie. _I mean, it’s just Christmas dinner... no need to be fancy_ . Once he’s dressed, he puts on his shoes and grabs his suit jacket. He looks himself over in the mirror. _Damn, I look good_. His eyes linger on his wrists... He walks over to his bed and sits on the edge and takes the small jewelry box from the nightstand. He opens it and admires the cufflinks Cas gave him. He hasn’t had a chance to wear them yet, but he thinks tonight would be as good a night as any. So, he puts them on and then reassesses himself in front of the mirror. He looks even better now. He smirks and goes out to meet Sam and Ruby.

“Sorry,” he says. “I really didn’t mean to take that long of a nap.”

Sam chuckles. “It’s totally fine, man... Since when are we _not_ late for things anyway?”

Dean rolls his eyes and laughs as he grabs his keys. “All right, well you guys ready?”

They both nod, and they head out to the parking lot. Dean’s phone rings as they walk down the stairs and he answers without looking at the caller ID. “Hello?”

“Hey, Dean, are you at Charlie’s yet?” Benny asks.

“Pfft, nope. I just woke up from a five hour nap that was only supposed to be two.” Benny chuckles on the other line. “Why do you ask? You want a ride?”

“Yeah.. I’m plannin’ on drinkin’ so...”

Dean nods even though Benny can’t see him. “Yeah, yeah, I get it. We’ll pick you up. We’re leaving my place now.”

“Okay, see you soon.” Dean is about to hang up when Benny says, “Oh, Dean, did you, uh, get a chance to see Novak at all this break?”

Dean smiles softly. He just can’t get over the fact that Benny can’t call him by his name. “Yeah, we already exchanged gifts too...”

Benny sighs, seemingly relieved. “Oh, good. I was afraid I was going to have to create some kinda diversion for y’all to do that later.”

Dean chuckles. “What makes you think I won’t have you do that anyway?” Dean asks suggestively.

“Oh! Ew! Dean! I didn’t need that picture in my mind!”

Dean just laughs as he unlocks the Impala and gets in. “Benny, don’t worry, I’m just teasing.”

“You better be,” Benny says.

Dean shakes his head. “Look, we’re on our way, I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Okay, see you soon.”

They hang up and Dean starts the car. He pulls out of the lot and drives off towards Benny’s house. “We’re going to give Benny a lift.”

“Okay,” Sam and Ruby say in unison from the back.

The ride is pretty quiet, save for the music blasting from the radio, and they  get to Benny’s in a matter of minutes. Dean honks, and Benny comes out carrying a dish. He was assigned to bring some Louisiana dish that Charlie really likes, Dean couldn’t remember the name of it for the life of him. Dean and Sam were assigned to bring liquor, so he’s bringing a couple bottles of wine and a bottle of top-shelf whiskey. “Merry Christmas,” Benny says as he slides into the passenger seat. He buckles up before Dean pulls out of the driveway and heads to Charlie’s apartment.

“Merry Christmas,” Sam and Dean respond somewhat late.

“How you doin, Sam? I heard you got into law school.”

Dean can see Sam blush in the rearview. “Did you tell everyone, Dean?”

Dean shrugs. “What can I say? I’m proud.”

Sam snorts and shakes his head. “Thanks. And, I’m doin, well, Benny. This is my girlfriend, Ruby.”

Ruby waves as Benny turns to look. “Hi,” she says.

Benny nods to her and says, “Nice to meet you.”

From then on, the car ride is mostly small talk and Dean singing along badly to the music. About fifteen minutes later, they pull into Charlie’s apartment complex and park in front of her building. Sam and Ruby get out, and Benny starts to get out, but Dean’s stomach suddenly drops. And, he’s nervous. He’s fucking _nervous_. For a dinner party with his best friends. Benny stops and looks at him. “Dean? You okay?”

He takes a deep breath and nods. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”

Benny looks him over with concern. “You can make it through this.”

Dean takes another deep breath and nods. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m good. Let’s do this.” Without looking at Benny, he gets out and shortly after, Benny follows. Dean locks the car, and they walk up the stairs to Charlie’s apartment. Dean knocks on the door, and the four of them wait for the door to open. They hear some voices--and a bit of yelling--before the door is finally yanked open by Cas, who’s yelling over his shoulder at his sister, “I told you, I’m getting it!” He’s dressed up. He’s wearing a pair of dark jeans that hug him in all the right places, and he’s wearing a black button-up that just-- _umpf_. The top few buttons were left undone, and Dean swears he can’t stop looking at him. Then, Cas turns to face them. “Sorry for that, we just--” He breaks off as he catches sight of Dean. He swallows before continuing. “Come in, merry Christmas,” he gestures into the apartment and smiles. The four of them walk in, Benny first so that he can set his dish down and Sam and Ruby follow him. Dean enters last even though he was standing at the front of the group. Cas catches his arm before he can follow the rest of them around the corner to the kitchen. “You’re wearing them.”

Dean smiles. “Of course.”

Cas runs his hand down Dean’s arm and lifts his wrist so that he can admire the cufflinks. “They look good... _You_ look...” Cas shakes his head as he trails off.

Dean chuckles softly. “Right back at you, sugar.” He looks around quickly to make sure no one is around and gives him a small peck on the cheek. “Come on, let’s join the party.”

Cas smiles and follows him around the corner to the kitchen, and Dean knows, he knows he can get through the night.

*****

 

The night starts off in the kitchen. They all stand around as Charlie and Anna finish cooking, and they chat about anything and everything that comes to mind. It’s really just a bunch of small talk, but they’re all enjoying each other’s company and that’s what’s important. Then, they sit and have dinner. And, that goes well too. After that, they sit around the table and drink and chat a little more. As the night goes on, the knot in Dean’s stomach slowly unravels, and he lets go and enjoys himself. 

“Who’s ready for presents?” Charlie squeals about an hour after everyone finished they’re dinner.

Everyone nods and voices his agreement, and they move to the living room to exchange gifts. Dean ducks into the bathroom before the reach it because  _ god damn _ , he has to pee. He hears them all moving around and handing out presents as he washes his hands, and he smiles to himself.  _ Why was I so nervous? These are my best friends _ . He throws some water on his face and dries his hands and face before heading back out there. When he joins everyone else in the living room, there’s only one space left for him. Next to Cas. 

He walks over to him as Anna says, “I put your presents in a pile next to Castiel.”

He smiles at her as he sits next to Cas. “Thanks.”

“So, who’s first?” Charlie asks.

Dean smirks as he comes up with an answer. “Well, ya know how we do it in the Winchester household... Youngest first.” He gives a pointed look to Cas, who blushes just the slightest bit and averts his eyes.

“Sounds like a plan! Castiel, you’re up first!”

Cas mutters, low enough so that only Dean can hear, “Screw you, Dean,” and then mockingly says, “Yay!”

He reaches for his first present that’s from Anna and Charlie. Just like he did with Dean’s present, he carefully unwraps it, trying desperately not to rip the paper. When he’s finally done with unwrapping it, Dean frowns. Charlie and Anna gave him a box set of  _Project Runway_.

Dean looks at Cas, who he can tell is trying very, very hard not to show disappointment. “Do you like it?” Anna asks softly.

“Um... yeah, yeah. Thanks,” Cas says with as much enthusiasm as possible. No one really seems to buy it.

Dean nudges Cas. “Why don’t you open the other one?” Cas puts his first gift aside and picks up the other one.

Again, he carefully unwraps it, but this time, his face lights up when he sees what’s inside, and it makes Dean’s heart do a flip-flop. “I... I don’t...” Cas trails off and looks over the box in his hand with awe. “Lord of the Rings... extended... on Blu-ray...” He looks up at Charlie and Anna, who have perplexed looks on their faces, and he says, “Thank you!”

“But, we didn’t...” Anna trails off.

Cas frowns and looks down at the label. “It says from Santa...” He frowns before turning to Dean. 

Dean shrugs. “I saw it, and I had to...” He looks at Charlie and Anna and says, “I know we agreed not to get each other anything, but he wrote a paper about it in my class, and I saw it... and I thought why not?”

Anna smiles and says, “Well, thanks.”

Dean nods and looks back to Cas who’s still beaming at him. “Yeah, thanks, Mr. Winchester.”

Dean nods again and looks away. “All right, Sammy, your turn!”

And, they carry on. Sam opens his gifts like Dean: like an animal. Charlie and Anna got him law books, and Benny got him a pair of scissors. Dean dies when he sees Sam’s confused face.

Benny chuckles and says, “Trust me, you need em.” He makes a snipping gesture with his fingers around his forehead, and everyone else laughs. 

Ruby nudges Sam playfully and says, “They are very nice scissors. I could cut your hair for you.” 

Sam shakes his head. “My hair isn’t going anywhere!” He proclaims, and again, everyone laughs. “Who’s next?” He asks, ready to get the attention of his too-long hair. 

“That would be me,” Ruby says. She also opens her gifts like a true Winchester, and smiles when she gets a small necklace. “Aw, this is really nice, thank you,” she says, and Charlie and Anna nod their  _ you’re welcome _ s. 

Next up is Charlie. She opens her present slowly, but rips through the paper. Dean’s really starting to think Cas’s habit is some sort of OCD thing. She smiles and does a little happy dance when she sees what Dean got her. “Dean! You shouldn’t have!”

Dean smiles and says, “Should, shouldn’t, what’s the difference anyway?”

She slides the silver bracelet on as she says, “Thank you.” She admires it before saying, “Well, it’s you and Benny’s turn.” Dean chuckles because he forgets they’re the same age sometimes.

“You go first, brother,” Benny says.

“Okay, then.” Dean picks up Benny’s present first. It’s pretty light which is odd, the size of the present implies it would be heavier, but whatever. He opens it quickly and frowns when he clears the wrapping away. The box says it’s waffle iron, but Dean can tell it isn’t. It’s way too light. So, he opens the box, clears away tons of packing peanuts and finally finds his small gift sitting at the bottom of the somewhat large box. He can’t believe his eyes. He takes the box out and looks at it closely. “This isn’t...”

“Oh, but it is,” Benny says with a smile in his voice.

“What is it?” Sam asks.

Dean looks up with a child-like look in his eye. “It’s a guitar pick... It’s on of Jimmy Page’s... It has his initials on it, and... it’s framed... and...” He trails off as he looks back down at the frame in his hand. He still can’t believe it. 

“Damn,” Sam says.

“Award for best gift goes to Benny,” Charlie announces.

Dean chuckles and puts it aside. “I haven’t even opened yours yet, should I lower my expectations?”

Charlie tilts her head. “I dunno, how high are they?”

He laughs. “Not high.” He picks up her gift and opens it quickly too. It’s a book by his favorite author. “Cat’s Cradle... Nice. It’s one of my favorites by him.”

“Oh, really? I meant to get you something by him that you’d never read.”

He waves her off. “Nah, this is great! I’ve read all his books anyway.”

She chuckles. “Well, glad you like it.”

“Thanks.” He puts it aside and looks at Benny. “Your turn.”

Benny nods and opens his presents. He smiles widely at the vinyl album Charlie gave him, and he laughs and thanks Dean for the top-shelf Kentucky Bourbon. “Thanks, guys, these are great!” 

Now that everyone has opened their presents, they all stand and hug each other, thanking everyone again. Dean starts with Benny and works his way around the room. He hugs Charlie tightly, and she whispers, “Thanks for that surprise gift for Castiel.” He smiles and pulls back. 

“Any time,” he says. Then, he makes room for Sam to hug her, and he turns to the last person in the room. Cas smiles at him as he walks over to him. 

“This is the best,” he says holding up the box-set of LOTR movies. 

Dean smirks. “Even better than the other one?”

Cas chuckles and touches the chain around his neck. Dean hadn’t noticed it tucked into his shirt. He smiles. “It’s different.”

“I didn’t notice you were wearing it...”

Cas laughs. “What? Too busy checking out my ass in these jeans?”

Dean feels his face flush with color.  _ Yes _ . He bites off his response as Benny comes over and gives Cas a somewhat awkward, yet brotherly, hug. Then, he pulls away and hooks on arm around Dean’s neck and one around Cas’s and pulls them into him. “I’m glad we could all spend Christmas together,” Benny says as he rubs their heads as if they’re children.

Dean laughs and wiggles out of Benny’s hold. Cas does the same. “Me too,” Dean says, making eye contact with Cas, who smiles before looking away. 

“Sheesh, you guys need some alone time,” Benny mutters. Dean shoots him a playful glare, but he only laughs. He holds up his hands in mock-surrender. “I’m only teasin’.”

Dean rolls his eyes, and he’s about to say something else when Charlie announces to the room, “Who’s ready for dessert?”

They all go back to the kitchen to get dessert. Dean loads his plate up with all the different pies--four slices. He takes his plate back to the dining room table and digs in. He tries the apple pie first, and  _ ohmygod this is the best pie ever _ . He closes his eyes and savors the taste.  _ Mmm, just too good. _ He swallows and takes another bite, and soon enough, that piece is gone. Cas slides into the seat next to him as he takes a bite of the cherry pie. “Oh my god,” he mumbles around the pie. He chews and swallows before turning to Cas. “Who made this?”

Cas looks at his plate. “Which pie are you referring to, Dean?” He asks with an amused glint in his eyes.

“The cherry.”

Cas smiles. “Anna and I made that one. Family recipe.”

Dean takes another bite and shakes his head. “Well, it’s delicious.”

“Thanks,” Cas says as he digs into his dessert.

The others join them at the table as Dean finishes his second slice of pie. Benny laughs and says, “You’ve already eaten  _ two _ slices, Dean?” Dean glares at him as he takes a bite of the pumpkin pie. Benny laughs again. “Gotta be some kinda record.”

The rest of them laugh, but Dean doesn’t care. He loves pie, sue him. The pumpkin pie is nothing special. It tastes like all other pumpkin pies, and he finishes it quickly. Then, he starts on the last slice of pie, but before he actually takes a bite, he pauses. He frowns.  _ What the hell is this? _ He nudges Cas. “What is this?” He thought it was apple-cranberry, but it’s not. He can’t tell what it is.

Cas swallows his food before responding. “Oh, that’s just a generic fruit pie.”

Dean does an  _ oh okay _ face before taking the bite. He’s stunned. The fruit is a little sour and tart, but it’s counteracted by some kind of honey-creme liqueur mixture. It’s the most delicious pie he’s ever eaten. He savors every bite, and he actually resists a whine when he takes the last bite. Once he’s done, he leans back in his chair and rubs his stomach. He’s  _ full _ . “Who made the fruit pie?” He asks, loud enough for everyone to hear.

Charlie answers. “Oh, the generic one?” He nods. “Castiel made that one.”

Dean looks at him. Cas smiles. “You made that?”

Cas nods. “Yeah, I even came up with the recipe.”

Dean snorts. “That was the best damned pie I’ve ever had.” Cas beams at him. “Forget writer, you should be a baker, have your own business. Sell these and you’ll make a fortune.”

Cas blushes, and Ruby speaks up. “You want to be a writer?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m not sure what I want to do... Someone suggested writer to me, though, and I dunno. I could be, but I doubt I’d make money.”

Ruby laughs. “I feel you man. I’m a writer. Well, I’m working on becoming one, anyway. It’s a tough business. But, if you make the right connections and you got the talent, you will do well.”

“Thanks,” he says. “I don’t know if I have that talent.”

Dean speaks before anyone else can. “Yes you do.” Cas looks at him and opens his mouth to object, but Dean raises a hand to cut him off. “Come on, we both know you do. Remember what I told you about that essay? It was really,  _ really  _ well written.”

“That’s just one essay...”

Dean resists the urge to sigh. “All of your writing is like that, though.”

Cas locks eyes with him with insecurity, but it fades as he sees the sincerity in Dean’s eyes. He smiles slightly. 

“And, he’s your teacher, so he’d know,” Anna chimes in.

Dean looks away from Cas’s eyes.  _ Thanks for pointing that out, Anna _ . Benny coughs to cover a laugh, and Dean glares at him. 

Cas shocks him by saying, “You’re right, Anna, he’d probably know better than anyone.” 

“Well, I have been grading your papers, so...” Dean trails off. Suddenly, that knot of nerves is back, twisting his insides like a pretzel.

“You know that’s not what I mean, Dean.” The room goes silent, and all Dean can hear is the blood pumping in his ears. He closes his eyes.  _ Are we seriously going to do this now? _

“Cas,” he says more as a breath than anything else.

But, Cas pushes forward. “Dean knows more about me than anyone else in this room. He has a better idea about me and what I’ve been through than anyone else... So, yeah, you’re right, Anna. He would know. But, not because he’s my teacher.”  _ Oh god, here it comes... _ Dean waits and waits for Cas to drop the bomb, but he doesn’t continue. He doesn’t say what he thought he was going to. He opens his eyes and looks at Anna and Charlie’s confused faces, and he knows what he’s doing. He wants them to piece it together. He wants them to ask him what he means. Dean cringes internally.  _ Why does he have to be such an angsty teen? _ That’s one thing he loves about him, but it sure does make him unpredictable. Their current situation is a perfect example of that. 

Surprisingly, it’s Sam who speaks first. His voice is quiet and almost hesitant. “What do you mean?”

Dean clenches his jaw, but he stays quiet. He wants to let Cas do this. “I mean that Dean was there for me when no one else was, and he cared for me and helped me when I didn’t...” He trails off. Dean recognizes that tone of voice, and instinctively, he places a reassuring hand on Cas’s shoulder. He feels Cas straighten under that hand, and he feels him regain his confidence. “You’ve known me my whole life, Anna, my  _ whole  _ life, but you don’t even know what my favorite movie is.” Anna’s frown deepens, but she doesn’t say anything. “I told you I was gay, and you took that to mean that I love Project Runway and going shopping with you for hours...” He shakes his head. “Anna, I’m not a walking stereotype.”  _ How did this conversation turn into this? _

“Castiel, I don’t think you’re--”

“Anna, I don’t want to hear it.” Anna looks shocked but closes her mouth. “I want you to be close with you like we used to be, and I want to hang out, but Anna, you have to get to know me again. And, I’ve got to get to know you again.” 

Charlie’s been quiet the whole time, and Dean hasn’t had the courage to look at her. “And, how exactly has Dean been there for you, Castiel?” She asks, almost coolly. Dean wants to shrink back into his seat and disappear. 

Cas pauses before saying, “He took me in after I... had trouble at home.”

Anna gasps. “Castiel! You said you were at a friend’s!”

Cas stands up angrily. “I was! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, Anna. I was at a friend’s house. I went to the place I felt the safest... And, it just so happened to be Dean’s.”

Dean works his eyes over to Charlie’s just as understanding fills her eyes. Her eyes widen, and she opens her mouth, closes it, and opens it again. “Dean Winchester.” That’s when the room  _ really  _ goes silent. No one so much as breathes. “ _ This _ is  _ not _ what you’ve been so reluctant to tell me.” Dean keeps eye contact, despite every fiber in his body yelling at him to look away. His silence answers her statement. She shakes her head. “I don’t know what to say, Dean. He’s  _ eighteen _ , Dean!”  _ That’s  _ when full realization hits Anna, and she gasps again. 

“Castiel!” 

Dean clenches his jaw and stands up, preparing to give them a speech, but Benny speaks before anyone else can. “All right, all right, everyone, calm down.”

Charlie and Anna turn their nasty gazes on him, but they don’t phase him. “Benny, you can’t  _ seriously  _ be okay with this!”

Benny, unlike everyone else apparently, keeps his cool and responds calmly. “Charlie. Just sit down.” He motions the sitting down motion with his hand, and she reluctantly does what he says. Anna does too. Then, he looks at Dean and Cas. “Novak, Winchester, sit.” Dean rolls his eyes at Benny’s use of his last name and sits. “All right, now everyone take a breath. Calm down, and let’s hear all the sides.”

Charlie erupts again. “Benny! There’s nothing to say! Castiel is his student!”

Benny raises his hand and gives her a pointed look. “Charlie, calm down, or you’re going to end up sayin somethin you regret.”

Sam chooses this moment to clear his throat and say, “Um, I don’t think we need to be here for this, so Ruby and I are going to--”

Benny cuts him a look and says, “Uh-uh, you stay right where you are. All of you are gonna sit and listen to what each other has to say.” Sam and Ruby remain seated and play with the food on their plates. “Good. Now, who’d like to go first?”

Dean rolls his eyes. 

“Dean! You volunteer, great!” Dean shakes his head and glares at Benny. 

He sighs and looks at Charlie. Her eyes are filled with anger, pure unadulterated anger, and he thinks about where to start. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Charlie.”

“I want you to tell me what the  _ fuck _ you were thinking.”

Dean bites off a cynical laugh and shakes his head. “You see? That,  _ that _ right there is why I never told you.  _ That’s _ why I was too scared to tell my best friend about my life. I was scared to share my life with you. I never felt like that before. Never. But, this time, I knew this is how you’d react.” He swallows and catches his breath. “Look, you can tell me all you want that this is wrong and that I can get fired or sued or whatever. You can tell me whatever you want, Charlie, but you can’t tell me anything that I didn’t obsess over for  _ weeks _ ,  _ months _ . I’ve thought about it all. I’ve considered it all. I even tried to do the right thing, and I tried to break it off. To end it... But, Charlie... that wasn’t the right thing to do. Cause you know what happened when I did that?” Charlie shifts under Dean’s scrutinizing gaze. “I hurt him. I hurt Cas. And, he left school, and he went home, and he... had some trouble. And, then, because he had nowhere else to go, because every safe place he knew wasn’t safe anymore, he came to me. What did you want me to do? Turn him away and pretend I didn’t see anything? I couldn’t... Charlie... I did enough of that growing up.” Her eyes widen, and they quickly fill with sympathy. “I wasn’t about to do it again...” He shrugs. “What was it you said to me about Anna? You never really dated but you spent time together and you just... fell in love?” He asks rhetorically. He nods and drops his eyes. “That’s what it was like. I fell for him long before I realized that’s what I was feeling.” He works up the courage to meet Charlie’s eyes, which are watery. “You know, Charlie, you _ know _ that I’ve never felt like this. I’ve never uttered the words ‘I love you’ to anyone but family... But, Charlie... That’s what he is. Cas is my family now, and he’ll be my family ten, twenty, fifty years from now.”

A sad/happy laugh escapes her lips. She shakes her head. “You really think you’re gonna make it to 78?”

Dean laughs in spite of himself and says, “Well, I plan to.”

She shakes her head again, but there’s a smile on her face. “And, Castiel... you feel the same way?”

Cas looks at her and then at his sister. “Yeah. I love him.”

Anna nods and bites her lower lip. “I’m sorry,” she whispers. 

He shakes his head. “It’s okay, Anna... I love you, you know that.”

She smiles and gets up, walking around the table to hug her brother. Then, Charlie stands and walks over to Dean to hug him tightly. “I love you, Dean,” she whispers.

He smiles. “Shh, he might hear you.” Cas playfully hits his shoulder, and Charlie giggles. 

Charlie and Anna return to their seats, and Dean looks across to Sam and Ruby who seem very uncomfortable but happy that the fighting seems to be over. “No confessions of love from you guys?” Dean teases.

Sam blushes and glares at Dean. Ruby, however, chuckles. “Oh, Dean, I forgot to tell you... I love your brother so, so much, and I know it’s wrong but fuck it. I love him,” she says sarcastically. “I mean, I do, but I’m not about to announce it to the room.”

Sam smiles and gives her a peck on the cheek. “That’s my girl,” he says.

Dean chuckles and shakes his head. Sooner or later, dessert conversation picks back up. Benny pours Dean and himself a glass of the bourbon Dean got him. He sips it and sits back, looking out at the room with a grin on his face. “See, that’s what I’m here for, Dean.” Dean frowns and raises an eyebrow curiously. “Keeping friends together, and makin it a night to remember.” Dean narrows his eyes and thinks about it.  _ That is what his role is... _ Dean looks back at his friend with a new understanding. He smiles as Benny downs his drink in one go. Then, he stands and yells out at the room, “Who’s ready for shots?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an fyi, in case you aren't sure, Jimmy Page is the guitarrist for Led Zepplin!
> 
> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed!


	22. Twenty-two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! So, I know it's been a while and I'm really sorry, but I just have been SUPER busy with school stuff. That mixed with some writer's block, and here we are. So yeah, I'm sorry, BUT I think this chapter is pretty good and it gives a direction for me to go with for this new phase of the fic. Hopefully, you all like it too!!
> 
> Happy reading!! Enjoy!!

Dean wakes up on January 3rd and sighs as he sits up and wipes his eyes from yet another sleepless night. Sam and Ruby went home yesterday, Dean took ‘em to the airport and everything. Sam told him he was happy for him because he could tell Cas made him happy, yadda, yadda, yadda... 

But, the thing is, things really haven’t changed. Sure, Dean and Cas kind of announced their relationship-- _ I guess that’s what you’d call it now? _ \-- at Christmas, and Dean thought something would come of that... But nothing has happened. He still hasn’t seen Cas all break. Charlie and Anna claim it’s because they just want to spend time with him, get to know him, blah, blah, blah, but Dean knows it’s bullshit. Cas hasn’t even texted him since Christmas, which is odd because he was texting him nonstop the days leading up to Christmas...

And, now, he can’t fucking sleep through the night. Sure, he  _ sleeps _ , but he wakes up periodically throughout the night and tosses and turns constantly. And, today is no different. He gets out of bed groggily and puts a pot of coffee on. While that’s brewing, he takes a quick shower to wake himself up, but it doesn’t help much. He gets dressed and makes a cup of coffee. He leans against the counter and sips it as he checks his phone. He nearly chokes when he sees he has eighteen texts, twelve missed calls, and three voicemails. All from Cas.

He opens the texts first:

2:12 AM:  _ are you awake? _

2:13 AM:  _ why would you be? It’s the middle of the night... _

2:19 AM:  _ sorry _

2:28 AM: _ i’m sorry, dean _

2:32 AM:  _ if you’re awake, please answer me, dean _

2:33 AM:  _ i just need... fuck idk _

2:35 AM:  _ i really do love you, dean, you know that right? _

2:41 AM:  _ idk why i’m texting all this to you right now... _

2:49 AM:  _ you’re probably sleeping anyway _

2:51 AM:  _ i can’t sleep here _

2:53 AM:  _ i hate it here, dean _

2:54 AM:  _ i wish i wasn’t here _

2:56 AM:  _ i’m sorry _

2:57 AM:  _ you shouldn’t have to wake up to this _

2:58 AM:  _ i shouldn’t have sent all this to you _

2:59 AM:  _ i didn’t want to tell them that way, you know? I just couldn’t stop myself from saying it. It just came spilling out of me... sorry _

3:06 AM:  _ there i go, apologizing all the time... i know you hate that _

3:09 AM:  _ i wish you’d wake up _

Dean is more confused than ever. He dials his voicemail before calling Cas, he needs to know everything so that he knows what to say. 

“You have three new messages,” the robotic voice says. “First message:  _ “What are you--... why--... no, you--...”  _ End of message. To delete...” Dean skipped to the next message. “Second message:  _ “Dean... I justneed sumthin... Dean, please...” _ End of message.” Dean replays the second message and winces.  _ Yup, he was drunk _ ... _ what the hell happened? _ Worried, Dean skips to the next message and listens with his heart in his throat. “Last message:  _ “I can’t live with him, Dean. I can’t do it. Please, don’t let him do this. I can’t live with him, Dean. Please, please, please. Dean, I need help, Dean... please...” _ End of message.” Dean closes out of voicemail and dials Cas as he simultaneously grabs his keys and jacket and heads to the parking lot. The phone rings six times and goes to voicemail. Dean hangs up and calls again... and again and again and again and again and again until finally  _ finally _ he gets an answer. 

“Hello?” Cas sounds tired and even though it’s hard to tell over the phone, a bit hungover. 

“I’m on my way to wherever you need me to be, Cas. Just tell me where to pick you up.” Dean wastes no time getting to the point as he starts up the Impala and pulls out of his space.

Cas sighs on the other end. “Dean...”

“Cas, I got your texts and your voicemails and everything. Don’t tell me it’s okay. Don’t tell me you’re okay, Cas. You’re not. You asked for my help and you’re fucking getting it, so tell me where the hell to pick you up.”

He hears Cas sit up in bed on the other end. “I’ll send you an address.”

“Okay.” And before Cas can hang up, he says, “And, Cas?”

“Yes, Dean?”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there... that I didn’t respond.”

Dean can almost hear the sad smile in Cas’s voice. “But, don’t you see? You  _ did  _ respond.”

And, with that, the line goes dead.

*****

Dean waits in the parking lot to an elementary school, nervously tapping the steering wheel to the Metallica song playing on the stereo. Despite the music’s usual effects on Dean’s nerves, the song is doing nothing to calm him. He’s worried sick about Cas. Another song starts and ends before he sees him in the rearview, approaching the Impala.

Cas gets in the passenger seat, and Dean, needing to desperately calm his nerves, pulls Cas to him. Cas seems surprised at first but quickly relaxes against him. 

“What happened?”

Cas sighs, sits up and looks out the window. “Can we just drive for a while?”

Dean looks at him, waiting for the younger man to look his way  _ just once _ , but he doesn’t, so Dean nods to himself and says, “Whatever you need.”

He pulls out of the parking lot and does what Cas suggested: he just drives.

*****

Dean drives for hours. He doesn’t even leave the city limits. He just drives in big looping circles. Then, he can’t stand it anymore and he has to stop to pee. So, he pulls over at a gas station to do his business. When he comes back, he puts the car in gear and starts driving again. Just as he’s pulling back onto the main road, Cas speaks for the first time since they first started this adventure. 

“My dad made me move back in with him.”

Dean nearly swerves off the road. “ _ What _ ?”

“Anna couldn’t do anything. He just came by and... yeah. I’ve been with him since yesterday afternoon.” Cas speaks robotically, without feeling. Dean hates that he’s driving. He wants nothing more than to reach out and comfort him.

“Why?”

“Beats me... He said he was sorry. I don’t believe him, though. He still spews homophobic bullshit and he acts like my “slip-up” was just that. He thinks I was just acting out because of the divorce... he thinks I was just trying to piss him off.” Cas sighs. “So, I’m kind of back to square one there.”

“Why didn’t you call me yesterday afternoon?”

Dean looks over at Cas long enough to see him bite his cheek. “I didn’t want to bother you.”

Dean nearly explodes. He clenches his jaw and pulls off the main road onto an off-road. He seriously doesn’t even know where he’s going, but he drives until the road dead-ends and he turns, parks on the side, then cuts the engine. He turns to look at Cas, who’s still looking out the window. “Cas. Look at me.” Cas doesn’t make a move. “Please, Cas, look at me.” Cas reluctantly moves his eyes to Dean’s. “You would never  _ ever _ bother me. No matter what you call me for. You could call me up and say,  _ hey! I just saw a monkey! _ And I wouldn’t be the slightest bit annoyed. Please,  _ please _ , know that you are always welcome to bother me, okay?”

Cas nods. “I know, I just...” He shrugs. “I don’t know.”

Dean’s eyes soften. “I know it’s rough.”

Cas, for whatever reason, smirks. That’s right,  _ smirks _ .

“What?”

“Oh, nothing.” Dean raises an eyebrow at him. “It’s just I want nothing more than to kiss you right now.”

Dean smirks, and his tone turns playful. “Well, then, what are you waiting for, sugar?”

Cas leans forward and kisses Dean, not gingerly, not gently. No, he full out  _ kisses _ Dean, hunger burning through him to Dean. Dean groans and deepens the kiss by pulling Cas closer. They kiss like that for a long time, pulling at each other’s hair, nipping each other’s lips, and they only pull apart when they need to catch their breath. Dean breaks the kiss but keeps his forehead pressed to Cas’s, each of them panting slightly from the wild kiss. Dean smiles softly and whispers, “You know we’re not done talking about this, right? This little... distraction won’t work forever.”

“Oh, really?” Cas says playfully as he runs a hand up Dean’s thigh and teases the button of his jeans. 

Dean’s breath catches. “Yes, really,” he manages to utter. “But, I’ll allow it for now,” he growls before pulling Cas back in for another kiss. This time, they start shedding clothes as they devour each other. They move into the backseat, where it’s more comfortable, and Cas struggles with climbing over the front while still trying to stay lip-locked with Dean, but Dean manages to pull him over, and they collapse on the backseat in a fit of laughs. Cas relaxes against Dean and catches his breath. Dean holds him and strokes his bare back with the tips of his fingers. They stay like that for a few minutes as the seriousness of their earlier conversation washes over them again. 

“I’m scared,” Cas whispers against Dean’s neck, and Dean’s chest tightens.

Dean hugs him tighter and presses a kiss to the top of his head. “You’re safe here. You’re safe with me.”

Cas turns his face into the crook of Dean’s neck and presses a kiss just below his ear. He moves down Dean’s neck and across his collarbone, tracing it with his lips. Then, he moves lower and dips his tongue into Dean’s navel. Dean gasps as Cas works open his jeans. Cas shoves Dean’s jeans and underwear down around his ankles, freeing Dean’s cock. Dean looks up and watches Cas suck him down. 

“Ah,  _ shit,  _ Cas...” His eyes flutter closed, and he drops his head back onto the seat. Cas torturously brings Dean to the edge, stops, and lets him fall back down. Once Dean has come down some, Cas sucks him down again and repeats the process all over again. Before long, Dean is panting and begging for Cas to let him come. “Come on... Cas, come  _ on _ , plea-- _ ah, fuck _ ...” He trails off as Cas circles his head with his tongue, light as a feather. “Come on, Cas,  _ please _ ...”

Cas chuckles and releases Dean, and Dean, in his pleasure-clouded state, whimpers from the loss of contact. Meanwhile, Cas is rummaging through the glove compartment for a condom and lube. He finds what he’s looking for and does away with his own pants. He releases a groan when he finally frees his erection. Then, he lubes up his fingers and prepares himself for Dean. Dean comes back to reality enough to notice that Cas is panting and moaning as he pumps three fingers inside himself. “ _ Shit _ , Cas...” Cas meets his eyes and throws him the condom.

“Put that on,” he grumbles.

Dean smirks and rolls the condom on himself. Almost immediately after he’s done that, Cas is straddling his hips and sinking down on him. “ _ Fuck _ !” They both groan as Cas sinks lower and lower until finally sitting flesh-to-flesh against Dean. Cas pauses and leans down to kiss Dean hard on the mouth. Dean kisses back hungrily and shallowly thrusts up into Cas. Dean hits Cas’s sweet spot, and Cas breaks the kiss, panting. 

“Right  _ fucking _ there, Dean.  _ Right  _ there.”

And, from there, Cas takes over. He sets a fast, rough pace and within minutes, they’re both on the edge of release... But, then Cas slows down again, rolling his hips _just_ _enough_ to keep them on the edge but not slow enough for them to lose the pleasure. Dean pants and reaches for Cas’s hips, but Cas snags his wrists and pins them against the back of the seat with a smirk. 

“ _ Come on _ , Cas. You’re killing me here.”

Cas slows his hips but increases the pressure, and Dean just about loses it. “That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?” Dean grunts as a way of response, and Cas chuckles. “Very well, Dean...”

Then, he speeds up his pace once again, rising quickly before shoving himself back down onto Dean. Once again, they’re on the edge within minutes, and this time, Cas keeps going. Dean catches his eyes and keeps eye contact until his eyes flutter closed as he finally reaches his release. “ _ Fuck _ , Cas!” He screams as he finishes, Cas just a few strokes behind.

“ _ Shit _ !” He stills as he comes and collapses onto Dean. 

Dean holds him as they come down from their high. After a few moments of silence, Dean slips out of Cas, and he rummages around for something to clean themselves up with. He finds a towel under the passenger seat, and he uses it to clean himself and Cas. Then, they both get dressed, which they both find pretty difficult to do in the back of the Impala. Once they’re both dressed again, they move back into the front seat, and Dean starts the engine. He turns around and drives back to the main road. 

Cas chuckles, and Dean looks over at him with a frown. “What?”

Cas shakes his head and looks over at Dean. “Just reminds me of the, uh, first time...” He blushes as he says it as if he’s ashamed to be remembering their first time together. 

Dean thinks back to their first time, and he smiles and chuckles too. “Yeah... it was a little bit better than that time, but yeah...”

Cas laughs. “Haha, yeah, it was  _ way _ better this time.” Then, he turns on the radio and leans back against the seat, looking out the window. 

Dean smiles to himself as he turns up the song and focuses back on the road. He takes Cas back to the school from where he picked him up and parks. He cuts the engine and turns to Cas. “You call me if you need anything, okay?” Cas nods. “And, I mean,  _ anything _ .”

Cas smiles a sad smile. “I know, I know. I will.” He smiles somewhat more brightly and leans in to give Dean a small sweet kiss on the mouth.

Before Dean gets a chance to really enjoy it, Cas pulls away and says, “I guess I’ll see you on Monday.”  _ Oh, right, school, work... fun. _

“Monday,” Dean says. Cas gets out of the car and trudges across the parking lot and heads home. Dean waits until he’s out of his line of sight before starting up the engine again and driving home, worry for Cas growing every minute they’re apart.


	23. Twenty-three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my dears! It's so long, and I'm so sorry! I hope you'll forgive me, and you like this chapter! 
> 
> Happy reading! :)

Dean’s rushing around his apartment, trying desperately to get dressed before Benny shows up. His tie is around his neck but not tied. He’s got one sock on but not two. And, to top things off, his toothbrush hangs out of his mouth as he tries to do everything at once. He manages to put his other sock on and his shoes before Benny bangs on his door, but just as he finishes, Benny’s signature knock rattles Dean’s apartment. 

Dean walks to the door, resuming his brushing. He opens the door and grunts a good morning to Benny as he comes in. Benny laughs and closes the door after him. “Haha, oh, Dean, what’s the matter?” He chuckles again. “Forget we were startin’ back today?” 

Dean flicks him off as he ducks into the bathroom to rinse and spit. Then, he decides to say  _ fuck it _ to wearing a tie today and takes it off. He emerges from the bathroom and grabs his bag, phone, and keys. “Had a long night,” he grumbles to Benny. He stuffs his pocket with all his little items and starts for the door. “Let’s just go.”

Benny’s smile fades before he follows Dean out to his car. Dean slumps into the front seat and closes his eyes. Benny frowns as he slides into the driver’s seat and starts the car. “Got you some coffee.” That makes Dean perk up a little and reaches for his cup.

“Thanks.”

Benny pulls out of the lot and heads to school. Once he’s on the main road, he says, “What’s the matter, brother? You seem... I dunno. Just off, I guess.”

Dean sighs and sits up a bit more, the coffee waking him up. “I was up late, that’s all.” Benny gives him a  _ come on, I know you better than that  _ look , and Dean shrugs, looking out the window. “Cas’s dad made him move back in with him... it’s been pretty rough for him the past few days...”

Benny narrows his eyes. “But, isn’t Novak eighteen? You know, an adult? Legally speaking anyway... Can’t he just...?” Benny trails off, not really sure what his question is. 

Dean shakes his head. “It’s complicated. Yeah, he’s eighteen, but he’s not exactly independent from his parents yet, you know... Financially speaking, he might as well be a child.” He sighs again and shakes his head. “I know what it’s like. Wanting to get away but not being able to just because of fucking money...” 

Benny frowns slightly, waiting for Dean to elaborate, but when he doesn’t, Benny asks, “What do you mean?”

“One thing people don’t think about is that abuse isn’t always physical... Financial abuse can be worse because--” Dean breaks off, shaking his head. “--because sometimes it’s the only thing keeping you right where he wants you.” 

“And, that’s what Novak’s dad is doing?”

Dean nods. “Basically. Cas has no way of supporting himself without his parents’ help... at first, anyway. And, his dad knows that. He’s using it against him to keep him where he wants him.” Dean pauses, then, unsure if he should tell Benny this last part, but he decides to anyway. “He also told him that he won’t help with college if he continues to be gay.”

It takes all of Benny’s self control  _ not _ to go on a forty minute rant about how much he hates this guy, despite having never met him. Instead, he clenches his jaw tightly and grits out, “And, what did Charlie and Anna have to say about all this?”

Dean shrugs again. “They tried to stop him from taking Cas, but they couldn’t. There really was nothing they could do. He doesn’t talk to Anna, and he won’t even acknowledge that Charlie exists.”

Benny shakes his head, exasperated, as he pulls into the school parking lot. “That’s ridiculous.”

Dean scoffs. “Tell me about it.”

Benny parks, and they each get out of the car somewhat groggily. “Well, I hope you guys work it out,” Benny says as they part ways. 

Dean nods and waves him goodbye. He walks into the building, sipping his coffee, and he’s surprised to find Balthazar standing outside his door, waiting on him. “Good morning,” Balthazar greets him.

Dean resists the urge to frown at Balthazar out of surprise. Balthazar is a good student, but he doesn’t like that he is a good student. He actually goes out of his way to look like the opposite, so the fact that he’s here waiting outside Dean’s door well before school has started is just odd. “Morning,” Dean says as he opens the door and turns on the lights. He walks to his desk and sets his things down. “What can I do for you, Balthazar?”

Balthazar takes a quick look outside as if to make sure no one is around to hear and shuts the door. Needless to say, Dean’s curiosity has peaked. “I was wondering if I could talk to you...” He trails off, looking wary.

Now,  _ this _ is extremely odd for Balthazar. He never looks unsure of anything. Dean gestures for him to take a seat next to his desk as he takes his  _ own  _ seat, instinct telling him to sit down. “Sure, take a seat.”

Balthazar sits down and chews his bottom lip before saying, “I know it may not seem like it, but you’re actually my favorite teacher, and I really like your class... and, I think...” He takes a deep breath “Can I talk to you about something? It’s kind of... personal, but I don’t think I can talk to one of the counselors. I’ve never spoken to either of them for longer than two minutes.”

Dean frowns, confused, but says, “Of course, whatever you need.”

Balthazar seems to sag with relief. “Oh, thank you, Mr. Winchester. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, now what’s up?”

Again, he looks wary, but he eventually says, “It’s one of my friends... He’s--well, I think he’s going through some stuff at home.” Dean’s stomach drops. “And, I think he should tell someone, but he won’t hear of it. Won’t even consider telling an adult... I don’t know. I’m just worried about him, and I think he’s... well, he’s got a history--like, he used to, you know,  _ hurt  _ himself.” Dean’s gut twists. “He never really told me about it, but he didn’t have to. I saw it... And, now--now, I’m afraid he might start again. And, I think it could be worse this time.” Balthazar releases a breath and shakes his head. “I don’t know what to do.”

Dean takes a few breaths to steady himself before responding to Balthazar. “Does your friend go here?” Dean is about 99% sure he knows who it is, but he has to be sure.

Balthazar nods. “Yeah... it’s, uh, it’s Castiel... Look, I really don’t want him to know that I told you all this. It’s really personal, but I just... I just felt like it needed to be done. Like someone had to know.”

Dean nods. “I understand, Balthazar.” He pauses, thinking over everything. “I actually know Castiel--” it almost pains him to call him his full name “--a little bit. His sister is marrying my best friend, so we actually interacted some over the holidays, and I can talk to him if you want. If you really are worried about him, and it seems that you are, then I think he’ll understand why you told me. I’m sure he won’t mind.”

Balthazar looks up at him and nods slowly. “Yeah... yeah, maybe that’s best.” Dean nods and gives him a soft smile. Then, Balthazar says, “His sister is marrying Coach Benny?”

Dean can’t help but laugh--loudly, very loudly. “Hahaha, oh! Thank you for that, Balth, I needed that...” He trails off, letting out small laughs until he finally has enough composure to say, “No, she’s marrying Ms. Bradbury.”

Balthazar frowns slightly out of confusion before his eyes widen. “ _ Ohhh _ .”

All Dean can do is smile and nod. “Yeah, plot twist.”

Balthazar chuckles and stands up. “Haha, yeah... thanks, Mr. Winchester for listening. I hope Castiel is okay.”

Dean nods one more time as Balthazar leaves and the warning bell for first period rings. Students flow into his room and take their seats, looking bleary-eyed, and all Dean can think as he watches each student wipe his eyes or try to get an extra five minutes of shut-eye is:  _ me too, guys, me too. _

*****

The first few periods seem to drag by for Dean. The first day back after a long break is always hard to get through, but it’s even worse when he’s not focused. All Dean can really think about is Cas, which really is not that different than the last few days. Since their little meeting on the third, Dean hasn’t been able to do anything for longer than five minutes before worried thoughts of Cas distract him. 

The warning bell for fourth period rings, and Dean takes a seat as he watches his third period students leave and his fourth period students enter. A few of them greet him as they come in, asking about his break and all that stuff, and Dean smiled and answered them nicely. To them, it probably seems like normal conversation, but for Dean, it feels forced, formulaic. Before he knows it, the bell rings, and then starts fourth period. He gets up to close the door, scanning the room for Cas. When he doesn’t see him, the knot of nerves in his stomach tightens. Then, he hears, “Ow!”

Dean turns to the door and jerks it back open wide. Cas stands half-way in the door frame. Apparently, Dean was too distracted and nearly closed the door on him. “Sorry,” Dean mumbles. But, really, he is just so relieved to see him, and he looks okay. He seems a little better, even, than a few days ago. 

Cas’s face reddens and gives him a small forgiving smile. “It’s okay. You didn’t see me.”

Dean nods, and then, thinking that this little encounter is taking  _ way _ too long, he says, “Well, come on in and take your seat. We gotta get started.”

Cas doesn’t say anything else, just scurries off to his seat next to Balthazar and Meg, his face still burning the brightest shade of red. 

Dean returns to the front of the classroom and starts his lesson. “How’s everyone doing today?” There’s a collective  _ good  _ from the class, and he continues. “Good. Well, guys, it’s on to the final stretch. Y’all are almost done.” There’s some cheers. “Now, all I ask is that you guys don’t let it get to your head. You all have to finish strong, okay?” He gets a collective grunt of agreement, and he smiles. “Right, so let’s start off this semester with an essay assignment!” Now, he gets a collective groan of annoyance, and he can’t help but laugh his evil-teacher laugh as he starts handing out the prompts. “Now, before anyone gets their panties in a twist, why doesn’t someone read the fine print at the bottom for the class?” He waits for someone to volunteer.

A girl in the front blurts, sounding relieved, “It’s all in-class. Three weeks to work on it, no homework.”

Dean smirks. “Exactly. This project is designed to be done in-class, and if you use your class time wisely, you shouldn’t have to do a lick of it at home.” The class seems a bit happier about this, but they still don’t like that they have an essay. Because who likes essays? “All right, well, I’m giving you guys this today so that you can get started on it. If you have questions or anything, you know where I am.”

From there, the class goes by somewhat quickly. When the lunch bell rings, Dean bids his class farewell and calls to Cas. “Castiel, can I talk to you for a second?” Balthazar meets his eyes and nods a  _ thank you _ , to which Dean nods back. 

Once the room has emptied, Cas approaches Dean’s desk. “What’s up?” He asks.

“Balthazar came to see me this morning.”

Cas frowns. “Why?”

Dean shrugs. “He’s worried about you.” Cas sighs. “He said he thinks you’re going through some stuff at home.”

“Where would he get that idea?” Cas asks, seemingly angry.

Dean raises an eyebrow. “Cas, he’s your friend. Friends notice things.” Cas closes his eyes and slumps against the desk in front of Dean’s.

“I wish they wouldn’t.”

Dean frowns. “Cas... it may not be the worst idea to talk to someone else about it. Balthazar seems like a good friend, and I think it’d be good to talk to him.”

“You didn’t talk to anyone and you turned out okay,” Cas points out weakly.

Dean shakes his head. “No, I didn’t, Cas.” Cas looks up at him, frowning. “I didn’t tell anyone about what my dad did to me, and it ate me alive. It affected everything I did, whether I realized it or not. When I was in college, I partied a little too hard. I did one too many drugs. I slept with one too many people. Cas... I struggled for a long time because of him, and I still do.”

“But, you seem... fine.”

Dean smiles sadly. “I’ve learned to cope. I learned how to shove it aside. But, Cas, that’s not healthy. The way I dealt-- _ deal _ \--with it... it’s not the best way. Hell, it’s not even a  _ good _ way of doing it.”

Cas sighs again, but he nods. “I guess you’re right.” He chews his bottom lip as he thinks. “I’ll tell Balthazar... not  _ everything _ , but I’ll tell him.” Cas pauses, smirking. Dean raises an eyebrow. “I’ll just tell him I’m fucking my English teacher. You think that’ll clear things up for him?”

Dean laughs dryly. “Ha, right, that’s a good idea.”

Cas smiles wider, and he looks like he’s about to say something else when Charlie ~~walks~~ runs in and hugs Cas, nearly knocking him over in the process. Cas is so shocked, he doesn’t react right away, but he quickly hugs her back tightly. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” She says. “We were so worried. We were so scared.” She pulls back from him and looks him over. “Are you okay?”

Cas nods. “I’m okay. I promise.”

Charlie turns to Dean. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt you guys.”

Dean shakes his head. “It’s fine, Charlie.”

She smiles at him before refocusing on Cas. “If you need anything, Castiel, you know we are just a phone call away, right?”

Cas nods. “I know.”

Charlie nods as if settling herself down. “Good, good... Come on, why don’t we go get lunch?” She starts to head out the door, but Dean has one more thing to ask Cas. 

“We’ll be along in a minute,” he says. She nods and leaves the room, leaving them alone. Dean pauses and considers how exactly he should phrase his thoughts. “Cas,” he begins. “Balthazar said something else that made me a little worried...” He trails off, unsure of how to approach the subject.

Cas raises an eyebrow and says, “What did he say?”

Dean decides to just say it. “He said he was worried you’d start hurting yourself again... Have you--”

“No, Dean,” Cas says with conviction. “It’ not that bad. I’m okay. I promise.”

Dean searches Cas’s eyes for the truth, but even when he finds it, he can’t shake his wariness. “Okay, but you’ll let me know if that changes, right?” Cas nods. “Cause one phone call, and I’ll be there to pick you up and take you to wherever you need to be.”

Cas smiles a small smile and nods. “I know, Dean. I know... Come on, we don’t have an infinite lunch period,” he says as he starts backing out of the room. 

Dean nods and starts to follow him to the cafeteria, his mind a little bit more at ease but he can’t help but continuing to worry. 


	24. Twenty -four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So, I've been thinking about giving you guys a look into the past to see how it all started for these two lovebirds, and I had someone ask about it the other day, so I decided to write it! This chapter is mostly a filler/flashback. Not a lot of plot stuff, BUT there is some, so don't worry!
> 
> Hope you all like it!
> 
> Happy reading!

Dean makes it through the week, and he somehow manages to do it without over-worrying about Cas. After the last bell on Friday, Dean bids his last class good-bye and leans back in his desk chair, rubbing his eyes. He’s still having trouble sleeping, and he’s planned to spend the weekend doing nothing more than reading. He needs to make up for some lost time with his bed.

A knock on Dean’s door brings him back to reality and he opens his eyes to find Cas.

“Hey,” he says. “I have to run and catch my bus in a second, but I just wanted to talk to you... I talked to Balthazar yesterday...”

Dean raises his eyebrows. “Oh, really? How’d that go?”

Cas shrugs. “It went okay, I guess... I, uh, told him everything. Like, uh,  _ everything _ .”

Dean frowns before realization hits and his eyes widen. “Seriously?” 

Cas nods. “Yes. I started telling him about the stuff with my dad and when I told him I ran away he asked where I went and I was nervous so I told him the truth and... yeah. Sorry.”

Dean huffs out a laugh. “Ha, it’s fine, Cas, really... Uh, what did he say?”

Cas smirks. “He laughed... thought I was joking. Then, he laughed twice as hard when I told him I wasn’t. Once he could breathe again, he said and I quote, “Well, look at you, Castiel, fucking the hottest man in town.” Haha, I can’t believe he said that...”

Dean feinted hurt. “What? I’m not the hottest man in town?”

Cas purses his lips. “Well...”

“Hey!”

Cas laughs. “Haha, I’m kidding! Well, I’ve got to go or I’ll miss my bus! I might be able to sneak out on Saturday, I’ll let you know!” He waves and leaves Dean’s classroom at a half-run to catch his bus.

Dean smiles and shakes his head, he’s really glad Cas talked to someone. He knows it would have been so much easier on him if he had just told Charlie or Sam when he was growing up, but he never did. And, like he told Cas, it tore him up. It’s good Cas decided not to do the same, so of course, he was smiling. For the first time the whole week, he can stop worrying about Cas because he has a support system. It’s good, really good. Wow, he really can’t stop smiling. Not only because he’s happy for Cas, but his little drop-by meeting also brings another memory to Dean’s mind...

_ September, 5 months ago _

Dean slouched into his chair as yet another day ended. He checked his phone, no messages. He shook his head. He shouldn’t care if Jason’s texted him or not, it’d been almost six months... he made his choice. It was over. Dean groaned and started packing up his stuff. Benny had called in sick today, so he was on his own, and he wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of--

A knock on his door frame made Dean jump, and he mumbled, “Shit!” as he looked up to see one of his students at his door. Dean swallowed the lump that always seemed to form in his throat when he met those pretty blue eyes.  _ Dammit, he’s a student. _ “Hiya, Castiel, what can I do for you?”

Castiel shrugged and stepped into the classroom. He looked nervous. “I, uh, had a question about the assignment you gave us today...”

Dean waited for him to continue, but he didn’t, so he said, “Okay, shoot.”

“Well, I was wondering what you meant by our favorite classic? Like, do we have to choose something we’ve read in school, or...?”

Dean shook his head. “Oh, no, no. You can choose any book from any genre that has in some form or another been dubbed a classic.”

Castiel frowned and tilted his head, and  _ dammit _ , that lump formed in Dean’s throat again.

He cleared his throat. “That was kinda confusing, wasn’t it?” Castiel nodded. “Right, well... here, take it this way. You’ve got your classics like  _ Romeo and Juliet _ and  _ Frankenstein _ and  _ Lord of the Flies _ , but you’ve also got  _ Carrie _ \--horror classic--and the  _ Hannibal _ series--mystery classics. You see? It can really be anything, as long as you can find at least three adaptations to compare.”

Castiel’s eyes seemed to have lit up. “That makes a lot more sense! Thanks, Mr. Winchester!”

Dean nodded. “Any time.” Castiel nodded but didn’t make any move to leave the room, and as much as Dean liked looking at him, he just... needed him to leave. “Anything else I can do for you?”

Castiel bit his bottom lip--and if that wasn’t the hottest thing,  _ hmmpf _ \--looking hesitant. “I, uh, I saw you drive into school this morning. I really like your car,” he said sheepishly. Dean, for whatever reason, felt his  _ own _ cheeks fill with heat. “What kind is it?”

He wanted to talk about baby?  _ Fuck, yeah, I can do that. _ “67 Impala. She’s quite a beauty, isn’t she?” Castiel nodded. “And, drivin’ her is the most peaceful thing.” He shook his head, smiling. “It was my dad’s, but he, uh, gave it to me when I went to college. He wanted a way for me to get back and forth.”  _ It was too much for him to drive back and forth _ . Why was he talking about his dad? He hadn’t talked about him in years. 

“I don’t think I would have been so nice to you. I wouldn’t have let that thing out of my sights,” Castiel said. 

_ Nice?  _ Dean thought. “Right,” he said.

Castiel continued to stand there awkwardly, rolling back and forth on his heels. “Anyway, I should go... I have to catch my bus. Thanks, again!” He called as he half-ran out of the room.

Dean watched him go, smiling and shaking his head. That guy was one adorable man...  _ kid, he’s a kid, man _ , he chastised himself. Dean finished packing up his things and left the building. Buses were gone, and the car-rider line had vanished as well. Dean smiled and got in his car and drove off to his apartment. 

About five minutes down the main road, Dean noticed a familiar silhouette with a trench coat walking on the side of the road. Dean got over, put on his flashers and slowed. He leveled with Castiel and rolled down the window. “What are you doing?” He yelled out.

Castiel turned his head and frowned. “What are  _ you _ doing?”

Dean chuckled. “Giving you a ride home, apparently. Get in.” He pulled off, and Castiel slid into the passenger side. 

“Thanks. I missed my bus, and my dad told me to walk, so...” he trailed off. “Whatever.”

Dean merged back into traffic and said, “How far do you live?”

“About fourteen miles from here.”

Dean’s eyes bulged. “What the fuck?” He said without thinking. “Pardon my French, but--”

“You’re right. What the _fuck_?” Castiel shook his head and looked out the window. 

Dean frowned, looking over the younger man sitting next to him. He knew  _ that _ feeling, he knew  _ that _ look. That was a look of a kid who didn’t want to go home, not yet. So, Dean changed the subject and asked, “You like pie?”

Castiel raised an eyebrow and said, “Sure, why?”

Dean smirked and said, “You’ll see,” as he drove off to his favorite pie shop.

*****

Dean got two slices of cherry pie to go and took them back to the Impala where Castiel was waiting. Then, he drove off a little ways down the road before turning off and parking. 

“Pie?” he asked. 

Castiel eyed him warily. “What are you doing?”

Dean took out his slice and a fork. “I’m cheering you up, Cas. Looks like you need it.”

“Cas?”

Dean stopped chewing.  _ Did I give him a fucking nickname? _ “Sorry, your name can be a mouthful, I didn’t mean--”

“No, I like it,” he said. Then, he took out his pie and started eating it. Dean watched him eat half of his pie before he continued with his own. He still finished it before Cas. It was quiet until Cas finished his pie and threw the package back in the bag with Dean’s. Then he said, “Thanks, Dean.” Dean gave him a surprised look, and Cas replied with a sarcastic tone. “It’s just your name can be  _ such  _ a mouthful, I mean, Win-ch-est-er,” he said slowly, “it’s just too much.”

Dean laughed and punched Cas lightly and playfully on the arm before he realized what he was doing. It was easy to forget he was his student...  _ too easy _ . Cas laughed and sighed. 

“Seriously, though, I needed that.” 

Dean nodded. “Me too,” he confessed. It’d been a while since he’d joked with someone like that...

“So, what music do we have in here?” Cas asked, turning on the radio. Led Zeppelin blasted through the speakers. And, much to Dean’s surprise, Cas started singing along. Quite well, actually...

“You like Zeppelin?” Dean yelled over the speakers. 

Cas smiled.  _ Damn, that’s a beautiful smile _ . “Love ‘em!”

_ Fuck yeah _ , Dean thought just as he started singing along with Cas. 

About forty minutes later, with their voices raspy and their throats dry, they managed to bellow out the last few chords of  _ Houses of the Holy _ , and they erupted into a fit of giggles. Why? They didn’t know, but they did. Then, their laughs died down, and they caught their breath, each still smiling. 

“Now,  _ that _ is what I needed,” Dean said, still slightly panting from singing.

Cas nodded. “Definitely.” He looked over at Dean, and Dean couldn’t stop his eyes from travelling down to Cas’s lips. They looked... beautiful, and he wanted nothing more than to reach out and pull Cas to him and kiss him. 

Apparently, Cas had the same idea because he leaned forward and kissed Dean gently on the mouth. Dean, too shocked to really do anything, kissed back before realizing what was happening. Then, he pushed Cas away--but only just barely. “Wait, wait, wait,” Dean said. His eyes were closed, and he opened them and saw Cas’s eyes staring back at him. “We--we really shouldn’t...” But, even Dean didn’t sound convinced. “I mean, you’re how old, exactly?” Dean asked.

“Eighteen,” Cas said.

_ Oh, you’re legal--NO! THAT DOESN’T MATTER _ . “Right, well... you’re my student too, so...”

Cas’s eyes dimmed, and he started to pull back, looking dejected. Then, Dean, thinking  _ fuck it _ , pulled Cas back. Their lips smashed together. It was messy and urgent and not the best he’d ever had. But, he couldn’t deny, he could  _ not _ deny their was something there, a desire or a hunger, if you will, something that drew him into Cas. 

Before he knew it, they were in the backseat, pulling at each other’s clothes. Next thing, Cas was laid out on the backseat, panting Dean’s name,  _ begging _ for him to do something-- _anything_. And, Dean, despite his usual stamina and love for foreplay, couldn’t help but oblige. He rummaged around the glove compartment for lube and a condom. Then, he lubed up his fingers and pressed one against Cas’s tight ring of muscle. 

Cas threw his head back and gasped.  _ Fuck, that’s hot _ . Dean pushed in a finger slowly, giving Cas time to get used to it before moving it in and out slowly. Before long, Dean had four fingers in him, and Cas was begging again. “Please,  _ please _ , Dean, I need-- _ hnng _ \--please.”

Dean pulled out his fingers. “Shh, sugar, I got you,” he said, rolling on the condom. Then, he settled himself between Cas’s legs and pressed into his tight heat. Cas’s entire body went slack. 

“ _ Yes! _ ” He nearly screamed. Dean gave him a few moments before he started moving. 

It only took a few thrusts before Cas was screaming out Dean’s name and clenching down upon him as he came. Dean lost his pace and gave two more hard thrusts before stilling on top of him and grunting, “Fuck,  _ Cas _ .”

They laid there for a good ten minutes before Dean sat up, took off the condom and wiped him and Cas clean with his T-shirt. They were both avoiding each other’s eyes as they redressed and climbed back into the front. Dean started up the car again and drove off, wondering what the hell just happened--

“Dean?”

Dean blinks a few times, Charlie’s voice bringing him back to the present. “Yeah?” he says.

She laughs. “Distracted?”

“Tired,” he lies. “What’s up?”

She smiles at him again. “I’m just heading out, looked like you were about to leave too... want to walk me out to my car?”

Dean nods and stands up, collecting his things. He turns out the lights and closes the door, and then he follows Charlie out the the parking lot. They make small, meaningless talk on the way and part ways to go to their separate cars. Dean unlocks the Impala and gets in. He pauses, then, as something catches his eye. It was the bag from the pie shop, pushed up under the glove compartment on the passenger side floor-board. He smiles and shakes his head. Five months, that’s how long that’s been there. It should gross him out, but instead, it brings a smile to his face, and he pulls out of the parking lot, feeling a lot better than he has in a long while. 


	25. Twenty-five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so on top of this updating thing right now, aren't I? Go me! Woo! So, next chapter, hope you all enjoy!
> 
> Happy reading!

Dean--thanks to the fact that he feels a lot better about Cas--falls asleep easily on Friday night. He sleeps so well that he doesn’t dream, just sleeps for a nice long--

_ Brrrriiiiiiinnnnnnnggggg! Brrrriiiiiiinnnnnnnggggg! Brrrriiiiiiinnnnnnnggggg! Brrrriiiiiiinnnnnnnggggg! Brrrriiiiiiinnnnnnnggggg!  _

“God dammit,” Dean grumbles and reaches for his phone, answering without looking at the ID. “Hello?” He says with his eyes closed.

“Dean! Waaassssuuuuup?” 

Dean sits up quickly, the sound of the other man’s voice jolting him awake.  _ No, no, no _ . “Jason?” 

The man on the other end laughs drunkenly. “Haha, long time, I know,” he slurs out.

Dean resists the urge to groan and rubs his eyes instead. Then, he looks over at the clock.  _ 3:30?!?! What the hell?  _ “Jason, do you have any idea what time it is?” He screams.

Jason’s quick to defend himself. “I know, I know, and I’m sorry, it’s just... I kinda need someone to--”

“No,” Dean says defiantly. “No, I’m not coming to pick your ass up from some dive-bar. I’m not your boyfriend anymore--hell, I’m not even your  _ friend _ .”

Jason sighs on the other end. “I know, I just... Dean, you’re the only person I can call.” Dean closes his eyes. “Please.”

_ Dammit--fucking asshole--mother-- _ Dean puts the phone down and groans a loud groan of frustration. Then he puts the phone back to his ear. “Where are you?”

“The Double Barrell, it’s off--”

“I know where it is,” he says as he gets out of his covers.

“Dean, thank--”

“Shut up, I’ll be there in ten minutes.” He hangs up before Jason can say anything else. He sits on the edge of his bed, shaking his head. He clenches his jaw, and then, he throws his phone against the wall and yells in anger. 

_ WHY? WHY, AFTER ALL THIS TIME DOES HE HAVE TO CALL? WHY CAN’T HE JUST LET ME MOVE THE FUCK ON? _

Angry as hell, Dean gets dressed, grabs his keys, and slams the door on his way out to go pick up his ex.

*****

Dean pulls into the dive-bar, seething. He spent the whole ride over here, thinking over everything Jason put him through, how he spent  _ months _ telling himself he was better off and then secretly hoping for a text or a call from him, how Jason toyed with every emotion Dean had, and how he thought he had  _ deserved _ it.  _ Well, fuck that shit, _ this is going to be the last time Dean sees Jason if he has anything to say about it. 

Jason sees Dean and walks up to the Impala. He slides into the passenger seat, and the scent of cigarettes, alcohol, and piss waft over Dean. He rolls down the windows--just like he used to--and drives off toward Jason’s place. 

“You live in the same place?” He asks, disdain dripping from his voice.

“Yep, need a refresher on how to--”

“I know how to get there.” With that, Dean turns the radio on and the volume up, killing the prospect of further conversation.

The ride to Jason’s apartment is tense, to say the least. Dean can feel Jason looking at him periodically, and resisting every urge to do otherwise, Dean keeps his eyes on the road. He doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction of looking at him. Not after all this time. It’s been almost a year, and he’s never called, texted, or anything, and now, when he needs something, that’s when he decides to call. It’s just like him to do this. Dean shakes his head and presses the gas, trying desperately to get this ride over with as quickly as possible. 

They’re five minutes away, almost there, when Jason fucking turns down the music, and Dean has to fight every urge _not_ to punch him. “You always did like your classic rock, huh?” Dean grunts as a way of response, and he can feel Jason’s disappointment. He wants to talk, but Dean doesn’t, and that’s just how it’s going to be. He just has to deal with it. “What’s this?” Jason asks, holding something up. Dean looks over quickly and frowns. Jason is holding up a solid blue tie, but it isn’t Dean’s. It’s Cas’s.

Dean looks away and says bluntly, “It’s a tie, dumbass.”

Jason nods and says, “But it isn’t yours.”

Dean clenches his jaw. “No?”

Jason shakes his head. “Nope, it’s not your size. This tie would be too short on you.”

_ Damn him for being stereotypically knowledgeable about fashion _ . “Yeah, well, it’s none of your business whose it is, so.” Dean reaches out and rips the tie from his grasp and puts it in the driver-side door. 

Jason laughs. “Ooooh, touchy, are we?”

Dean rolls his eyes and pulls into Jason’s apartment complex. “This is it. Get out.”

Jason cuts Dean a look. “You know you’ve been very rude this evening.”

“Well, maybe that’s because I was dragged out of bed by a man who hasn’t spoken to me for a year.”

Jason  _ tsk _ ’s his tongue. “Oh, Dean, that’s a two-way street, honey.  _ You _ haven’t spoken to  _ me _ either.”  _ No, it’s not my fault _ . “I’m not leaving this car until you look at me.”

Dean sighs, and knowing that he isn’t bluffing, looks at Jason. He looks the same as he did a year ago: blonde, pretty, and slightly drunk. Looking at him now, Dean doesn’t understand why he was ever attracted to him.  _ I mean, he’s just a pretty face, there’s nothing else there, it’s just-- _

Dean’s inner monologue is cut off by Jason smashing his lips against Dean’s. Dean is too shocked to move at first, and all he can do is taste the revolting taste of Jason’s musk mixed with alcohol and cigarettes. Then, once the initial shock has worn off, Dean pushes Jason off him. Jason just laughs, though, not taking Dean seriously. “Haha, oh, Dean, wanna play rough, now do you?” Jason laughs again and reaches for Dean’s belt. 

Without thinking it through, Dean punches Jason. Jason looks up at him with his lip bleeding. Seething with anger, shaking with a mix of fear and disgust, Dean yells, “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY CAR!” Jason doesn’t move immediately, and Dean yells again, “NOW!”

Jason blinks, and then, he’s scrambling out of the Impala. Dean doesn’t even wait for him to close the door to speed off. He does a quick turn-around in the parking lot and speeds out of there as fast as he can. He doesn’t go the speed limit again until he’s a good ten minutes down the road. Then, he lets off the gas and slows back down to normal speed. He drives back to his apartment and parks. He cuts the engine and sits there, trying to regain his breath. 

He’s angry. He’s so, so, so, angry. So angry, he’s shaking. Or is that the fear? Once he’s regained his ability to breathe, he climbs out of his car and goes back up to his apartment. He goes straight to his liquor cabinet and pulls out a bottle of whiskey. He uncaps it and takes a long swig, leaning against the island in the kitchen. He closes his eyes, and he sees Jason reaching out, his eyes flash open. He takes another swig. He closes his eyes, sees Jason’s bleeding lip and pleading eyes. He blinks his watery eyes open. Takes a swig. Dean slides down the side of the island and sits on the kitchen floor. 

Keeping the whiskey close, he spends the rest of the night there until he finally drifts off. 

*****

The buzzer to Dean’s apartment wakes him up and sends an instant dagger into his brain. Groaning, he gets up, knocking over the empty whiskey bottle as he does. Then, he buzzes up whoever it is downstairs. A few seconds--yes,  _ seconds _ \--later, someone bangs on the door frantically, meaning that they ran up the stairs. Frowning, Dean opens the door, and he immediately feels his frown relax. 

“Dean!” Cas flings himself onto Dean, hugging him tightly. Dean takes a second before he relaxes and pulls Cas to him, burying his face in the crook of his neck and breathing in his clean, warm scent. “I was so worried, I came as soon as I could, are you okay? Oh, god, I was so worried.”

Dean blinks away his tears and just hugs Cas tighter. He’s not ready to tell Cas about last night yet. He just wants to feel the comfort of his arms. 

After a few minutes, Dean finally pulls away, closes the door, and walks into the kitchen. Cas follows and watches Dean as he takes two aspirin and picks up the empty whiskey bottle from the floor. Dean huffs out a laugh when he sees his cracked phone on the other side of the island. “So, I drunk-dialled you?”

Cas’s eyes, full of worry, meet his, and he nods. “Yeah, you called at like four o’clock this morning, I answered, but you weren’t making any sense at all.”

Dean swallows a lump in his throat. “Sorry about that, didn’t mean to worry you.”

“It’s okay, Dean. But, do you maybe want to tell me why you were drunk at four in the morning?”

Dean licks his dry lips and nods. “Yeah, let’s, uh, sit down.” He walks over to the couch and takes a seat. Cas follows and sits next to him. Dean avoids eye contact, deciding to just say it. “Last night, I got a call from an ex. He asked me to come pick him up from a bar because he was too drunk to drive, and because I’m too good of a fucking person, I went. I’m not going to lie, I felt sorry for him.” He shakes his head. “I dropped him off, and... he kissed me and... tried to do some other things, but I, uh, punched him and yelled at him to get out of my car. Then, I drove home and got drunk.” Dean sighs and drops his head into his hands. “Cas, I didn’t want to do anything and--”

“It’s okay, Dean.” Dean looks up into Cas’s eyes. “It’s not your fault. Are you okay?”

Dean smiles a small smile. “Yeah, I’m good. Especially now that you’re here.”

Cas smiles at him. “Well, that’s why I’m here, to make you feel better.” He pauses before saying, “Do you, uh, do you want to talk about him?”

Dean frowns. “Why would I want to do that?”

Cas laughs dryly and rolls his eyes. “Because that’s what people do, Dean. He obviously isn’t one of those exes that you’re friends with, but it also seems like he still has some kind of hold on you, so... do you want to talk about it?”

Dean bites his lip, then, nods. “Okay. His name is Jason. I met him about two years ago, and we dated for a year, off and on. Now, he isn’t really my usual type. He’s very... I dunno, just not the kind of person I usually go after, but for whatever reason, I liked him. He also happens to be a drunk, so a lot of our relationship consisted of me picking him up at strange hours of the night from random dive-bars and then we would fight and then, we’d have really, really  _ bad _ make-up sex that was just--bad.” Dean shakes his head. “Then, he got sober, or at least, sober enough that he wasn’t in a dive-bar every other night, and he said he was doing it for me. He said he wanted to be better for me. We were together like that for six months, and things were going well, I started thinking we could make it, I thought he got better.” Dean clenches his jaw before saying, “But, I was wrong. Just when I thought our relationship was going well, just when I thought that past year was actually worth it, he dumped me. No explanation, nothing. He did it over a fucking _text_! I was beyond pissed. He hasn’t talked to me or made any attempt at talking to me in a year. And, then, last night, he just--” Dean cuts himself off and swallows that lump in his throat. He shakes his head. “I don’t know why, but he’s always had this--this  _ power  _ over me, and even if I didn’t want to do something, he could get me to do it. And, I thought that after a year, after a  _ fucking  _ year, I’d be able to say no, I’d be able to kick him to the curb once and for all, on my own terms, but apparently not.”

Cas doesn’t say anything right away. Dean sighs and slouches back against the couch. Cas reaches out for Dean’s hand and grips it tightly. “I’m sorry he put you through that.” Dean shrugs. “But, I think you  _ did _ kick him to the curb, quite literally the way you tell it.” Dean looks over at Cas and finds him smirking. “I mean, you got to punch your asshole ex, do you know how many people wish they could do that and can’t?” Dean laughs and shakes his head. “I’m serious, Dean,” he says with a smile on his face. 

Dean kisses him gently on the mouth. He breaks the kiss and rests his forehead on Cas’s. “Thanks, Cas.”

Cas smiles sweetly up at him. “Of course.”

“You know, you, uh, left your tie in my car. Your blue one.” Cas frowns. “Jason teased me with it, wanted to get a reaction out of me.”

“Did you give him one?”

Dean smirks. “I couldn’t help it. It’s your tie. I didn’t want his slimy hands all over it.”

Cas laughs. “Ha! Right, well, can I get it back? It’s my favorite.”

Dean purses his lips, feining disappointment. “But, it’s _ my _ favorite... I don’t wanna give it back.” Dean playfully nips Cas’s bottom lip. 

Cas chuckles. “But, it’s mine, Dean.”

Dean pushes Cas back so that he’s lying flat on the couch, and he pins him to it. He kisses him roughly, making sure it’s a good one, one of his best. When he pulls back, Cas’s eyes are clouded with lust, his lips red and swollen. 

“Fine you keep it.” Then, Cas pulls Dean back down, smashing their lips together eagerly, and Dean gets lost in the taste of Cas’s lips, the events from last night fleeing his mind the longer he’s with Cas.


	26. Twenty-six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good, god, I am so sorry for taking so long to update. I just keep getting busier and busier, and these chapters just keep getting longer, it seems. So, thanks for your patience and thanks to everyone who leaves kudos, comments, and just anyone who's still reading this! I never expected this kind of reception on this fic, and I'm so glad you all like it and continue to enjoy it. Sadly, I think this fic has three to four chapters left in it (maybe a bit more) before it ends. I really love this fic, it's my favorite to write, but it's time for it to come to a close. 
> 
> Happy reading, hope you enjoy!

Nearly a month passes, and it almost feels normal to Dean. Yeah, everything is totally normal. Everything except for the fact that he’s sleeping with a student, who was kicked out and then forced back into living with his abusive father, who Dean has never met but is sure he wouldn’t be able to control himself around. Everything is normal except for the fact that he’s currently sitting on the couch of a police detective, who is about to start asking him questions about assaulting his ex.  _ Yeah, everything is great... _

“Thanks for coming in Mr. Winchester. Please take a seat.” The detective--Lieutenant Michaels, if he remembers correctly--gestures for him to sit on the couch in her office. He nods and takes a seat, wringing his hands together in front of him. He waits for her questions to begin. “All right, let’s get started.” She opens a file on her desk and reads some stuff over before saying, “Do you know a Jason Masters?”

“Yes.”

“And, how would you classify your relationship?”

“He’s my ex.”

She scribbles something down and looks back up. “And, how long did you date?”

Dean shrugs. “About a year, on and off. We broke up almost a year ago now.”

She makes another note. “And, since you’ve broken up, have you talked at all? Are you friends?”

Dean suppresses a laugh. “No. We haven’t spoken since he broke up with me over a text.”

She raises an eyebrow at that and asks, “Did that anger you?”

“Of course it did!” Dean says a little too loudly. He takes a deep breath before saying, “Look, yes, it made me mad, but I got over it.”

She nods with a skeptical look on her face and made a note. “Okay, then. The night of the eighth. What happened?”

Dean sighs. “I was sleeping when my phone rang. I answered it without looking at the caller ID because it was 3 o’clock in the freaking morning and I wasn’t awake... It was Jason. He asked me to come pick him up from a dive-bar. I felt sorry for him and so I went. I picked him up and dropped him off at his apartment.”

“What happened when you got to his apartment?”

Dean stays quiet. He’s not about to confess.

Lieutenant Michaels looks at him, awaiting a response. She sighs when she doesn’t get one. “Okay, Mr. Winchester, let me tell you what stage we’re at right now. Mr. Masters--Jason--filed assault charges against you. Now, it’s my job to figure out if there is enough evidence to support those charges  _ and _ to make them stick. It is also my job to discern whether or not they are legitimate. You telling me what happened will only help your case.”

Dean sighs, rubbing his eyes.  _ Is this really happening? _

“With your record, this kind of incident is not unusual for you...” 

Dean’s head snaps up. “That was expunged. I was a kid, those were minor charges. I did my time for them. Not to mention I grew up, and I don’t just go around beating up everyone who pisses me off! Trust me, Jason wouldn’t be the first stop if that were the case.”  _ Dammit, shut the fuck up! _

The lieutenant raises an eyebrow, but all she says is, “All I’m saying that if this reaches the court, it wouldn’t be hard to convince a jury you’re capable of hurting Jason. So, if you tell me what happened,  _ exactly _ what happened, maybe that won’t be the case anymore, Mr. Winchester.”

Dean sighs and thinks for a long few moments.  _ What should I do? Ask for a lawyer? No, that’d seem guilty, wouldn’t it? ... Maybe I should just tell her, I mean, it was self defense for the most part, right? So that’d help me... _ “Okay,” he says. “We pulled into his building. I told him to leave, but he wanted me to look at him for some reason, I dunno... I knew he wouldn’t leave until I looked him in the eye, so I did. And, he, uh... he kissed me. I pushed him off because I didn’t want to do anything. He just laughed, thought I was playing it rough.” Dean swallows as his throat grows thick. “But, I wasn’t. I didn’t want to do anything with him. I told him to leave, to get out of my car, but he didn’t... He tried to unbuckle my belt... And, I punched him because I didn’t know what else to do. The guy was not stopping. I had to do something, and after I did that, he got out. Then, I drove home.” He decides to leave out the part about him getting blackout drunk afterward. 

Lieutenant Michaels’s eyes fill with sympathy before she looks down and makes a note or two. She looks back up a few moments later and says, “Okay, you’re free to go.”

Dean frowns. “Um...”

“Nothing is official yet, but you can leave for now. And, I’m pretty sure the DA won’t continue with this case. There’s not much evidence on either side, to be perfectly honest. So, we have to rely mostly on oral statements from the “victim” and the “aggressor,” but even if we did that, you’d most likely go free because it seems you were acting in self-defense. Give it a day or two, it may even be sooner, and you should get a call either from me or the DDA, and we’ll tell you how to proceed. But, like I said, these charges are likely to be dropped. Just... don’t leave the state or anything like that until then, okay?”

Dean nods as he stands up. “Yeah, definitely will not. I have some minds to mold.” Dean shakes his head at himself.  _ What am I even saying?  _ She raises an eyebrow. “I teach.”

“Oh, really? Where?”

“Up at Central.”

“Really? My son goes there!”

Dean raises his eyebrows. “What grade is he?”

“He’s a senior. His name is Balthazar, you don’t happen to know him, do you?”

Dean blinks a few times. “Uh, yeah, he’s in my fourth period. Smart kid.”

She smiles. “Yes, well, he can be a bit of a smart _ ass _ sometimes. I hope he doesn’t give you that kind of trouble in class, though.”

Dean smiles. “No, no, he’s a good kid. Pays attention, looks out for his friends.” He nods. “He’s a good kid,” he repeats. 

She smiles again and nods. “Yes... So, I guess I’ll see you at parent-teacher conferences tomorrow night, then?”

He nods. “Definitely... Thanks, I’ll see you around.” He gives a small wave as he retreats from her office. She smiles and waves back. 

_ Well, that went better than I expected.  _

*****

Dean and Benny have decided to stay until the conferences are over, and then they’ll leave. Dean still doesn’t understand why they have parent-teacher conferences in  _ high school _ , but whatever. It’s just part of the job. They start in a few minutes, and for the most part, he’s ready. There’s a few parents he thinks will be a bit high maintenance, but other than that, it should go well.

And, that’s how the night starts: well. He starts out with parents who care about their kids but who aren’t overbearing, so their conferences are really easy. Currently, however, he’s dealing with Mrs. Tran, who is about the opposite of easy to deal with. She’s a nice lady, but she is very, very invested in Kevin (not a bad thing), but it makes Dean’s life all that much more difficult. 

“You say he’s one of, if not the best, student, yet he doesn’t make 100s, I don’t get it.”

Dean resists the urge to roll his eyes for the millionth time. “Ma’am, he’s very smart. He’s doing really well in my class, there’s really nothing else I have to say. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask, but if not, I’m afraid our time is up.”

Mrs. Tran grimaces but nods and stands up. “Thank you for your time,” she says, holding out her hand. 

Dean shakes it and says, “No problem, please tell the next parent to come in when you leave.”

She nods and leaves the room. Dean goes to his desk and gets the next student’s file as two parents walk in. He smiles at them and takes his seat across from them. He looks down at the file to get their surname, and he freezes. The file in his hands reads,  _ Castiel Novak _ . Dean looks up. He looks down. He blinks, and then, trying the best as he can to keep an air of professionalism, he says, “Mr. and Mrs. Novak, nice to meet you.”

“It’s actually Ms. Milton,” Cas’s mom says.

Mr. Novak scoffs. “Right,” he mutters under his breath. 

Dean clenches his jaw. It’s taking every ounce of his self control  _ not _ to leap across the table and beat the shit out of Cas’s dad. He takes a deep breath and opens Cas’s file--as if he needs a summary. He knows exactly how well Cas is doing. “Your son is doing well. He has an A in my class right now, and I think that will continue for him. He’s a very strong writer.”

“And, how is he doing behaviorally?” Ms. Milton asks.

“Really well, he’s one of the best behaved students. Why would you ask that?”

“Just because he doesn’t call you doesn’t mean he isn’t behaving himself. How do you think we raised him?” Mr. Novak spits out the rhetorical question.

“ _ I _ know how  _ I  _ raised him. I’m surprised you know, seeing as how you were rarely there!”

“Right, it’s my fault.”

“Of course it is. Had he had a stable, constant father-figure, a manly figure, this  _ never _ would have happened.”

“I suppose Anna’s my fault too, then? Huh?” Ms. Milton stays silent. “Yeah, I guess that one was your fault wasn’t it?”

“You’re just an ass--”

Dean can’t take it anymore. “All right, you know what? Shut up.”

The two parents look up at him as if they’d forgotten he was there. Once they notice his seething, their expressions turn curious. 

“We’re here to talk about how your son is doing in his classes. Do either of you even give a crap?” They stare back at him with blank expressions on their faces. “Castiel is one of the smartest kids in my class. He is a very strong writer, he pays attention in class, he keeps his nose out of trouble, he has good friends. Everything. He has everything... At least, that’s how it looks, doesn’t it? That’s just how it seems. Underneath all that, what’s he got, huh? Two parents who sit here arguing about which one turned him gay. One who beat the crap out of him and one who sat in another room and just let it happen.” Dean breaks off, breathing raggedly. He’s getting too worked up. And, as his adrenaline fades slightly, he realizes what he just said.  _ Shit, shit, shit. _

Mr. Novak gives him a level look. “What did you just say?”

Dean clenches his jaw and avoids the other man’s eyes. “We’re done here. Please send in the next parent on your way out.”

“No! You tell me right now--”

Dean stands and towers over him, cutting him off. “I said we’re done. Now, get out.”

Cas’s parents look up at him as he backs away. They stand and leave separately, leaving Dean angry as hell. He wants more than anything to chase after them and give them both a piece of his mind, but he can’t. Two more parents are shuffling into the room and taking their seats, wanting to hear about their kid. So, Dean only has one option. He puts Cas’s file down and picks up the next one. He takes a seat and gets started. It’s all he can do.

All the while, he’s thinking about Cas and what he just sent home to him. 

*****

Cas is upstairs sitting in his bed reading when his dad comes home. He hears the loud garage door as it slides open, and moments later, he hears his dad enter the house, slamming the door as he does. Cas immediately shuts off his bedside lamp and throws the covers over himself, pretending to be asleep. He waits. He strains his ears, waiting for his dad to move, to do  _ anything. _ It’s quiet for a long time before he finally hears his father climbing the stairs. He’s walking neither quickly nor slowly, just steadily, and as much as that shouldn’t make Cas nervous, it does. His dad knocks on his door before walking inside. Cas keeps his eyes shut tightly, determined to avoid conversation. His dad sits next to him on the bed and touches his shoulder. “Son, I know you’re awake,” he says, flipping on the lamp. 

Cas sighs and turns to his father. Looking up at him now, he wonders where he got the title. For most of his life, his dad hasn’t been around much, always working and doing “more important things,” and Cas loved him anyway. Because that’s what you’re supposed to do, right? You’re supposed to love your parents, no matter what, _right_? It doesn’t matter how little you know them or how little they know you, you’re supposed to love them. But, after his dad  _ hurt  _ him, Cas decided that maybe just because it was what he was  _ supposed  _ to do didn’t mean he had to love his father. In fact, he despises him more than anything right now. “What do you want, Dad?” He asks with a bitchy tone he doesn’t intend.

His dad quirks an eyebrow. “Watch your tone,” he says. “I just got back from parent-teacher conferences.” Cas’s stomach drops. He completely forgot about them. “Your teachers all seem to think you’re doing well. They say you’re behaving and you have good grades.” Cas doesn’t say anything, knowing his dad is building up to something. “But, one of your teachers was a bit odd,” Cas’s gut twists. “He seemed to think he knew something about our home life, about our family.” His father fixes him with a penetrating stare. “Now, why would that be?”

Cas shrugs. “I don’t know.”

He  _ tsks _ his tongue. “I know you wouldn’t go talking to teachers, who are  _ strangers _ really, about what goes on in our family, now would you, Castiel?” 

Cas shakes his head. “No, sir. Of course not.”

His dad nods. “And, what about that  _ slip-up _ the other day?”  _ The other day? _ Cas thinks. It’s been much longer than that. “That’s over with now, correct? It was just a slip-up, right? Something you were saying to piss me off because of the divorce?”

Cas stays quiet for a moment too long. 

“Because if not, Castiel, I hate to say it, but I don’t know what to do. I won’t be able to help you. Not with college or finding a place to live or anything.”

Cas huffs out a nervous laugh. “It was just a slip-up. Nothing to worry about.” He’s partially telling the truth. It was a slip-up, just not in the way his dad is thinking. He hadn’t planned on telling his father that day that he was gay, it just... slipped out. 

His dad nods once more. “Good.” He gets up, then, and says, “Well, you should get some sleep. You have school in the morning.” And, with that, he leaves the room, closing the door behind him. 

Cas waits to hear his footsteps fade into the room down the hall and for his father’s door to close. Once it does, Cas knows he’s in for the night and won’t be coming out. Cas pushes his covers aside and gets out of bed. He dresses quickly, slips on his shoes, and turns off his light. He opens the window and climbs out onto the conveniently-located tree next to it. He slides the window closed and climbs the rest of the way down. With his head down, he makes his way to the bus stop. He needs to see Dean. He needs to see him  _ now _ . 

*****

Cas gets to Dean’s apartment around nine. Sadly, today is not Cas’s lucky day, and the door to his complex is locked. Today of all days. He buzzes Dean’s apartment, but there’s no answer. Cas sighs, his throat tightening.  _ What am I supposed to do now? _ He looks around, and luckily, he sees an old lady struggling with some bags from the grocery store. He approaches her. 

“Hey, excuse me, ma’am? Do you need help?” He asks, turning on his politeness charm. 

The lady smiles at him. “Well, that would be lovely,” she says, handing him two bags. He takes them, and he helps her all the way to her apartment. She thanks him profusely and forces him to stay for a cup of tea. He drinks it quickly, and then excuses himself. 

He goes down one flight and finds Dean’s apartment. By now, it’s 9:40. He knocks on the door. No answer. So, he knocks again, and he decides to keep knocking until the door opens. After about a minute, he hears someone round the corner, and he almost stops. 

Then, he hears, “Cas?”

Cas turns to look at Dean, who is at his side in seconds. Cas latches onto him. “Hey,” he says, the sound getting lost in Dean’s shoulder.

Dean hugs him tightly before pulling back and examining Cas’s face. “You’re not hurt, are you?”

Cas shakes his head. “No, I just need to not be at home right now.”

Dean’s eyes fill with sympathy and he lets him into his apartment. “You want anything to drink?” Cas shakes his head. “You want to talk about it?”

Again, Cas shakes his head. 

“Well, what do you need, Cas?”

“You.” Cas hates that desperate tone, but  _ dammit _ it’s true. 

Dean crosses the room and pulls Cas into another embrace. Cas relaxes against him, breathing in his familiar, calming scent. He pulls back just enough to kiss Dean. It starts out tentative, but it quickly grows into something more passionate--needy. It has only been a few days, but  _ damn _ , did Cas crave Dean. Dean hauls Cas up, and Cas wraps his legs around Dean’s waist, grinding down against him as Dean carries him to the bedroom. Once there, he drops him on the bed, staring down with lust filled eyes. “Oh, Cas...” He starts on his shirt, and Cas quickly undresses himself. Dean walks over to the nightstand, retrieving lube and a condom. He places them next to Cas on the bed before straddling him. He leans down and kisses him, taking Cas away to a place he’s never been. It’s amazing what Dean can do with his mouth. He releases his mouth and works his way down to his neck and torso, leaving Cas panting. He takes his time, nibbling at Cas’s nipples and slowly but surely working his way down. He gives Cas’s cock a gentle kiss on the head, and he’s about to protest that that’s all he gets when Dean sinks lower and licks a stripe across his hole. Cas gasps and lifts his legs up more, allowing Dean further access. Dean circles the rim a few times before pushing inside. Cas groans loudly. He’s forgotten how much he loves this. Dean picks up his pace, thrusting his tongue in and out quickly. Cas thrusts his hips up into the empty air. Then, Dean adds a finger in with his tongue, and Cas nearly screams. 

“Oh,  _ shit _ !” Dean chuckles, the vibrations making Cas shiver. Soon enough, Dean has another finger in him, and Cas can’t take much more of this. “ _ Fuck _ , Dean, please...” he trails off, unsure of what he’s even begging Dean to do. Then, one of the fingers hits his prostate, and he really loses it. He lets out a long, guttural moan as Dean continues to prod his sweet spot, adding another finger as he does. He’s not going to last much longer. “Dean--ah,  _ shit _ \--I’m not gonna last...”

Dean doesn’t relent. In fact, he works his tongue and fingers faster, egging Cas on, wanting him to come from just his fingers and tongue. Cas closes his eyes, the pleasure becoming too much, and as Dean presses three fingers against his prostate one last time, he comes. He lets out a long, very loud groan and arches his back off the bed. 

Once he’s come back to reality, he sees Dean as he rolls the condom on and presses against Cas’s entrance. He meets the older man’s eyes and says, “Come on,” pulling him inside, “come on, it’s your turn.”

Dean pants and pushes the rest of the way inside. He swivels his hips before pulling out and slamming back in. Cas is sensitive after his orgasm, but it feels good all the same. Dean’s thrusts are long, hard, and fast, and before long, he’s gasping, moaning, and Cas knows it’s not going to take much longer for him to finish. So, he starts thrusting his hips up to meet Dean’s downward thrusts, and Dean’s thrusts become erratic. He’s close, Cas can feel it. 

“Shit, Cas,” he grunts out. “Almost, there, almost...  _ Fuck, Cas _ !” He yells as he slams forward, hard, one last time and comes. Cas rubs his shoulders as the shivers work through his body. Dean collapses on top of Cas and gives him a chaste, lazy kiss. Then, he pulls out, disposes of the condom, and cleans Cas up. 

After that, they cuddle. Dean hugs Cas close, and Cas rests his head on Dean’s chest, drawing circles on his pecs with his finger. 

“I fucked up tonight, Cas,” Dean says. 

Cas frowns and looks up at Dean. “What do you mean?”

Dean sighs. “I said some things to your parents that I really shouldn’t have... I’m sorry if it caused anything... I just got worked up.”

Cas lays his head back down. “It’s fine, Dean, nothing happened. My dad came home, told me not to go telling “family secrets to strangers” and went to bed. You didn’t cause anything, trust me.”

Dean hugs him closer, Cas likes to think, out of instinct. “Well, I’m just glad you’re okay.”

Cas smiles. “I am too.” He looks back up at Dean and leans up to give him a sweet kiss. He breaks it after a few seconds and rests back against Dean, yawning. “I’ll stay for a little bit.”

Dean kisses the top of his head and says, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” he replies as his eyes droop closed and he falls into a deep sleep.


	27. Twenty-Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone, so here's the next chapter! Thanks to everyone who's still reading, commenting, and leaving kudos! It means the world to me!!!
> 
> Thanks, everyone! Happy reading!

Dean wakes up to the sound of a phone ringing. He thinks it sounds a bit odd, unlike his usual ringtone, but he reaches for it anyway in his sleep-addled haze. He answers the phone with his eyes closed. “Hello?” He rasps out, his throat dry. 

“Who is this? Where is my son?”

Dean shoots up, pulling the phone away from his ear.  _ No, no, no _ ... He answered Cas’s phone.  _ Shit! _ He looks over at Cas, snoozing softly. Dean rolls his eyes and nudges Cas. Cas groans, annoyed at the fact that he was being woken up. But, Dean can’t keep talking to his father. So, he nudges Cas again, who blinks his eyes open and says, “What?”

Dean holds out Cas’s phone. He blinks up at it for a moment, confused, but then realization strikes and he sits up quickly. He gives Dean a frantic look and takes the phone. “Dad?” He asks. 

His dad starts yelling, so loud Cas brings the phone away from his ear, wincing. Dean closes his eyes and turns away.  _ I fucked up. I fucked up badly _ . He sighs. He felt like an idiot. 

“Look, it’s just--” Cas starts to defend himself against whatever his father is saying, but Dean can hear the yell that cuts him off. 

Dean swallows, feeling guilty as hell. He stands up and goes to the bathroom. He can’t listen to this right now. He can’t listen to his...  _ whatever _ Cas is being lectured by an angry parent, especially when it’s because of a stupid mistake that he made. He closes the door to the bathroom, but instead of actually using the facilities, he just splashes some water on his face. He can’t believe he did that. He can’t believe he actually forgot Cas was lying in the bed next to him and that the phone that woke him up could have been either of theirs and that he answered the phone without looking because he knows that if he had seen the word “Dad” lighting up a phone he wouldn’t have answered because his dad was dead and this whole thing just reminds him of his dad and what happened and despite everything how much he misses him.

Dean can’t breathe. His throat feels as if it’s collapsing, as if it has been squashed like a bug. He tries his best to regain control of his breathing, but that doesn’t help much because as soon as he does start to breathe again, he starts breathing too fast. And, that’s worse. Before he knows it, he’s collapsed against the vanity, shaking like a leaf.  _ What the hell is happening? _

There’s a knock on the door, and then Cas pokes his head in. His eyes widen when he finds Dean on the floor hyperventilating and shaking. He rushes over and takes Dean’s hands in his own. “Look at me,” he says. Dean immediately searches for those blue eyes. “Breathe with me,” he says. He takes a long, deep breath, holds it for what seems like forever to Dean, and then releases it slowly. “Again.” And, Cas does it again, Dean copying him. They do that until Dean can breathe again. 

Once he’s stopped hyperventilating, Dean takes a shaky breath and says, “What the hell was that?”

Cas eyes him, releasing his hands. “Panic Attack.” Then, he stands up and leaves the room. Dean frowns and stands up to follow him. 

Dean joins Cas in the bedroom, who is fully dressed and is currently putting on his shoes. “Are you sure you should go home?”

Cas shrugs but doesn’t say anything, avoiding Dean’s eyes. 

He tries again. “You can stay here if you need to. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“Shoulda thought of that before you answered my phone.”

Dean frowns so deeply his eyebrows hurt. “Excuse me?”

Cas stands up, turning his back to Dean as he collects his phone and watch. “He knows.” Dean’s stomach drops. “Recognized your voice.” Then, he turns back to Dean and walks past him toward the door. 

Dean blinks before turning and going after him. “You can’t go back home! He’ll hurt you!”

Cas stops just short of the door. “I don’t have choice. He said he’d tell the school if I didn’t come home, so...” 

“Cas, please--”

“Don’t call me that.”

Dean swallows as his throat grows thick. “What?”

“It’d be best if we just... dropped it. This was never going to work long-term anyway.”

And, with that, Cas leaves. Shock washes over Dean, stunning him and keeping him from running after Cas. Keeping him from grabbing him, forcing him to look him in the eye and tell him that it was really over because this,  _ surely _ , is a dream. 

*****

Dean wakes up late the following day, extremely hung-over. He takes a few advil before getting dressed and going to school. He and Benny aren’t car-pooling today because Benny has some appointment after school, so Dean has the whole ride to school to mull over what happened last night. Everything replays in his head in an infinite loop, everything that happened, all that Cas said... 

Frustrated, Dean turns on the radio and turned the volume up nearly as loud as it could go, hoping that will drown out Cas’s voice ringing in his ears.

He gets to school ten minutes to the first bell. He walks to his classroom and is surprised to see Vice Principal Wilkinson waiting for him. He stops before her, smiles, and says, “Good morning.”

But, she does not smile, nor does she return his greeting. “I’m afraid this is anything  _ but _ a good morning. Please come with me.” She turns and motions for him to follow, and his stomach just drops out of his body altogether. This can’t be happening. Not now. Not after everything they’ve been through. 

He sighs and follows her, his heart racing. They go all the way up to the front office and beyond to Principal Mills’ office. VP Wilkinson allows Dean to go in ahead of her, saying, “Take a seat.”

Principal Mills looks up as Dean takes a seat in front of her desk, her face grim, her eyebrows drawn together in a mixture of sadness and worry. “I thought you would have been here sooner,” she says.

“Bad traffic,” Dean lies, and she nods.

“Well--Dean... The reason why we’ve brought you down here is to address some... complaints against you.” Dean, upon finding himself incapable of speech, nods for her to continue. “First--” _ there’s more than one? _ “A parent from the conferences last night--a Shelia Milton--says that you yelled at her and her ex-husband and accused them of beating their son. And, interestingly enough, said ex-husband, John Novak, says that you and his son are... intimate.” 

Dean doesn’t know what to say, so he stays silent.

“Did you yell at them?”

“Yes.”

Mills shakes her head. “Why?”

“Lost my temper.”

“I hate to ask, but... what exactly is your relationship with Castiel Novak?”

Dean clenches his jaw. “He’s my student.”

Mills nods. “Yes, fourth period, correct?” Dean nods. “Do you have a relationship with him other than that?” Dean stays silent. “Do you know how old Castiel is?”

Dean meets her eyes.  _ Please do not tell me he lied... _ “Eighteen.”

“Well, he’s actually nineteen.” Dean frowns. “So, you know that if you, say hypothetically, had a relationship with him, it wouldn’t be illegal.” He raises an eyebrow. Where exactly is she going with this? “However, you, hypothetically, having a relationship with Castiel is highly inappropriate as his teacher, and you will be asked to resign if you admit to a relationship. You’ll be given a week to find something to tell the students and other teachers, and all will be good.” Dean’s frown deepens. There’s more to this deal. “But, if you do not admit to anything, we will launch an investigation, asking every student in your fourth period class about your relationship, asking Castiel about you and how he’d describe your relationship, asking his parents, his friends,  _ your  _ friends, everyone. And, by that point, your face--and Castiel’s--will surely be painted across news headlines and TV screens, and everyone will know the truth--whether you two actually had a relationship or not, it won’t matter. Your name and the name of this school will be dragged through the mud because we cannot ignore this kind of suspicion, especially a parent’s.” He’s cornered. “So, I ask again, what  _ exactly _ is your relationship with Castiel Novak?”

Dean closes his eyes. “It’s true,” he says. He hears the VP gasp. “We were--we’ve--” Dean breaks off, trying to find the words. “We never did anything at school. I never gave him special treatment in class or in assignments.” He sighs. “That’s it, then? Can I go? I’ll hand in my resignation this afternoon, and I’ll be gone by the end of the week.” 

Principal Mills frowns for a moment before nodding. “I appreciate it, Dean. Please trust that we will be discrete with this information.” Dean gives a harsh laugh. “Because he is a legal adult, we do not want this to affect your possibilities of getting another job.”

Dean nods. “I really don’t give a crap if people know, just... if anyone finds out that it was Cas--” Dean breaks off again, his throat closing up. “No one can know.”

Mills nods again. “Of course. We won’t go spreading rumors, Dean.”

Dean stands, then. “I appreciate that... Well, I’ll just go teach for one last Thursday.”

No one says anything else, and Dean leaves just as the first period bell rings. He doesn’t want to do this. He doesn’t want to face his students and make up a lie about why he’s leaving in such short notice, but he has no choice. He has to do this. He has to leave because he broke the biggest school rule he could break. 

He finds his first period class waiting outside the room, chatting idly. But, they quiet down as he approaches. He unlocks the door and walks in, flipping on the lights as he does. The students follow. Once everyone is settled at their desks and Dean has found a suitable lie to tell them, he leans on his desk and looks out at everyone. His heart is heavy. He really doesn’t want to leave, he really doesn’t want to lie to them. But, he has to.

“Sorry I was late. I had a meeting with the principal this morning and it ran long,” he says as if it were a planned thing. “Last week, my family kind of fell into chaos, and it is starting to get to be a bit much for my brother to handle alone, so... I had to make the decision to leave my job.” A sad sigh sweeps through the room, making this all the harder. “Tomorrow is my last day... I wish I could have finished out the year, but I have to go. My family needs me.” His students all look up at him with sad, sympathizing eyes, and his heart breaks. “For today, I just want you guys to keep working on...” he trails off, what the hell is he doing? “Just do whatever the hell you want, just don’t get too loud.”

Then, he sits at his desk and sighs. He logs onto his computer, time to type up his letter of resignation. It doesn’t take long as he decides to keep it short and write:

_ Principal Jody Mills, _

_ I, Dean Winchester, hereby resign as a twelfth grade English teacher for personal reasons. I also agree to the terms previously laid out verbally during our meeting on the morning of the 22 _ _ nd _ _ of February. _

_ Sincerely, _

_ Dean Winchester _

He prints it and signs it. Then, he leans back in his chair, wondering what in the hell he’s going to do now.

*****

As fourth period rolls around, worry starts to well up in Dean’s stomach. He wonders if he’ll see Cas--whether black and blue or at all... Students file in one by one, and each time he doesn’t see Cas, his worry grows. But, finally, Cas walks in with Balthazar, looking quite unharmed. Dean lets out a breath, more than a little relieved. Cas ignores his eyes despite Dean’s being glued to him. The bell rings, and it jolts Dean out of it. He looks out at the rest of the class, who, unlike his previous three, were looking up at him in an anticipating silence.  _ They already know _ . Oh, well, he has to tell them anyway. 

“So, you’ve all probably heard by now, huh?” Most of the class nods. “All right, well, let me get the story straight... Last week, my family fell into chaos, and it’s starting to get to be a bit much for my brother to handle alone, so... I had to make the decision to leave my job. Tomorrow is my last day... I wish I could have finished out the year, but I have to go. My family needs me.” He pauses, looking out at the class. This is where he tells them to do whatever they want, but this class was different. This class is his favorite, and he can’t just give them the same old speech. “I want you all to know that your class has been outstanding this year. It truly has. All of you are strong readers and writers, and I  _ know _ that you can  _ all _ go on to do something great with your lives. All you need to do is keep at it, keep trying, keep learning, and you can do anything.” As if feeling his gaze, Dean locks eyes with Cas--who was already staring at him. “And, believe me when I say, that although this year has been tough, and you may not know where you’re going from here, I will always believe in you, and  _ I _ will support you. Even if no one else will.” Cas is crying now, silently, but there are definitely tears. He stands up abruptly and leaves the room. No one says anything about it, whether they don’t notice or they simply don’t care, Dean doesn’t know. “And, for today, you can just do whatever. Don’t get too loud.”

And, with that, Dean sits, watching the door for when Cas comes back in. He never does.

*****

Sixth period ends, and Dean can’t believe he only has one more day. Some students drop by on their way out, saying their goodbyes. Dean nods at all of them and smiles sadly. Charlie and Benny had talked to him during lunch, and even though they were angry and sad he was leaving, they both admitted that they all knew this could happen. Dean had also called Bobby during lunch and asked if he could start working full-time at the garage. Bobby was more than pleased to say yes. At least he has a job lined up.

A knock on his door startles Dean. He’s even more shocked when he sees Cas standing there. He beckons for him to come in. “I’m sorry. I’m so so so sorry.”

Dean frowns but doesn’t say anything. He wants to hear this. 

Cas shakes his head. “For everything I said last night. I didn’t mean any of it, I just--Gah, I feel like such an  _ idiot _ ! I can’t  _ believe  _ I was actually mad because you made a mistake and answered my phone. I mean, jeez... I’m just so sorry... My  _ dad _ just--UGH!--he  _ said _ he wouldn’t say anything if I came home. He said that if I came home, he wouldn’t tell the school. And, the only way I was sure you’d let me leave was if I said those things...” He shakes his head. “But, when I got home, he just smiled, saying that he had just finished writing an email to the principal.” He wipes angrily at his eyes. “I’m moving out tonight. For good.” Dean smiles sadly,  _ good news at last. _ “Anna and Charlie said I could stay with them for the time being.”

Dean nods. “Good...” He trails off, not sure how to form his thoughts into comprehensible sentences. “I wish I could say that I don’t blame you for what you said. I  _ wish _ I could say that we’re all good, but Cas--” He breaks off, shaking his head. “Those words stung. I thought you had really ended it, Cas... I thought I lost you for good.” 

“Shit,” Cas mutters. “Dean, please, I’m sorry. Really, I didn’t--shit. I love you so much. I love you more than anything. Please believe me when I tell you that.”

Dean meets his eyes, and  _ dammit _ , he can’t help but give in because he loves him too. “I love you too... Just, don’t you ever,  _ ever _ do that again, you hear me?” Cas nods fervently, and Dean nods matter-of-factly. He doesn’t know what to say now, but then he remembers something from this morning. “Are you really nineteen?” He asks out of the blue.

Cas flushes a deep shade of red. “What?”

“The principal said you’re nineteen, is that true?”

Cas shifts on his feet, blushing still. “I--uh--” he sighs heavily. “Yes.”

Dean laughs. “Why did you always say eighteen? To me, to Benny?”

Cas shakes his head as if embarrassed. “I... had to retake seventh and eighth grade. We moved into this school district when I started high school, and I dunno... It’s just easier to say that I’m a year younger than I am than telling people I was too “ _ emotional _ ” to finish middle school on time.”

Dean nods in understanding. “So, when do you turn twenty?” 

“June. It helps having a summer birthday.” Dean nods again, still thinking about how all this works when Cas changes the subject. “What are you going to do? Like, for a job?”

“Oh, uh, I’m going to work for Bobby. I think it’s best for me to stop teaching for now.”

“Good, I’m glad you have a job.”

Dean laughs. “Me too, Cas.” Cas smiles and opens his mouth to say something else when Balthazar walks in. 

“Ready to go, Castiel?” He nods to Dean. “Sorry to see you go, Mr. Winchester.” 

“Well, what’s done is done.” 

“Still too bad. You were only the best bloody teacher in this place, they didn’t really have to sack you, did they?”

Dean frowns amusingly. “Who said I’m being sacked?”

Balthazar raises an eyebrow. “No one, it’s just... well, I know that that story you told us is probably bullsh--” Cas hits him in the arm. “What? He’s not really our teacher anymore! Not like he’s going to give me a detention!”

Cas and Dean just laugh. “It’s kind of true, Cas.” Cas shakes his head. “You guys should probably get going... Beat the traffic.” 

Balthazar and Cas nod as they head for the door. “See you tomorrow,” they both say, and Dean waves goodbye.

Not five minutes later, Principal Mills knocks on his door. “Do you have your resignation?” She asks without so much as a hello.  _ Polite _ , Dean thinks.

He nods and hands her the short letter. “Here you go. Tomorrow will be my last day. I don’t need any more time than that. I’ve already found a job, so don’t worry about that.”

She looks over the letter, nodding. “Okay, sounds good to me.” She holds out her hand, then, and he shakes it. “It was a pleasure working with you, Dean. I hope that, despite what’s happened, you succeed in your next endeavor.”

Dean frowns, thinking,  _ even though you’re currently tanking any possibility of me teaching? _ “Thanks,” is all he says. Principal Mills releases his hand and, without a second look, leaves him to finish packing up to leave. 

It takes him about an hour to pack up all of his stuff that he has to take home with him. Once he’s done that, Dean takes everything out to his car. He goes back to the room to do one last walk-through to be sure, but he seems to have gotten everything, so he heads out for the day. As he’s leaving, he looks out at the classroom... He knows he’ll be back tomorrow for his last day, but he still can’t shake the fact that this is still one of the last times he’ll be here. He’s taught at this school for almost five years now, and leaving is a tough decision.  _ I’m doing it for Cas _ , he thinks.  _ I have to do this... then, we can actually have some semblance of a life together.  _ Dean takes a deep breath and leaves the classroom to go home. 

Hoping that, soon, “going home” will mean being with Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning for you all, this is the second to last chapter of this fic... The next chapter will, sadly, be the last :( So, again, I just want to thank every last one of you who has read this, whether it's been since the beginning or if you've just stayed up for hours past your bedtime to read it, I really, truly appreciate it, and I hope that you guys like the ending to the story and come back to re-read it later. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
> 
> ~thesherlockianwhjustcant


	28. Twenty-Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, we go, last chapter! THANK YOU FOR READING YOU ALL ARE THE BEST!!!!
> 
> Enjoy!

_ Eight Months Later _

“DEAN! Get your ass out here, boy!” Bobby yells from the garage, and Dean sighs. _ I just sat down to eat, can’t I just have ten minutes? _ Deciding to get this over with as quickly as possible, he goes to see what Bobby is yelling at him for.

“Yes?” He asks as he approaches Bobby, who is currently looking over the car he just finished fixing.

“What did you do to this car?”

Dean frowns. “What do you mean? I fixed it.”

“But, it says here that they only needed the brakes fixed and you’ve gone an’ fixed  _ everything. _ ” 

“Oh, I, uh, must have gotten carried away...”

Bobby shakes his head and looks at him. “I don’t think I’ve ever had such a willing employee.”

Dean laughs. “Sorry for being good at my job.”

Bobby rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, don’t get too cocky... Look, you finished up this car, and the other two on your list, so as far as I’m concerned, you can go on home.”

“But--” Dean starts to protest, but Bobby holds up a hand.

“Don’t worry, I’ll pay you as if you worked till five. Just thought you could have the afternoon off.”

Dean blinks a couple of times before excitedly thanking Bobby. “Thanks! I’ll see you tomorrow, right? Dinner at Harvelle’s?”

Bobby nods. “I’ll be there.”

“Great! See ya!” He yells over his shoulder as he practically runs to his car and leaves to go home, forgetting all about the sandwich waiting for him in the breakroom.

*****

Dean drops himself down on his couch around eight o’clock, just after he finished eating, with a beer. He grabs for the remote to the TV when the front door opens, and he abandons his idea of watching TV. 

“ _ Three _ midterms and two  _ eight _ -page papers, all due this week. How the fuck am I supposed to do that? Not sleep for five days? Get a time-turner?  _ Ughhh _ .” Cas groans out of frustration as he drops his bag and keys at the door, oblivious to Dean watching him. Then, he walks into the kitchen, rummages through the fridge, and closes it upon finding something to eat. He takes a bite of whatever it is when he catches Dean staring at him. He nearly chokes on his food, and he swallows quickly so that he can say, “Holy shit, Dean, I didn’t see you there.”

Dean smiles and walks over to him. He wraps his arms around his middle and gives him a kiss on the back of his neck. “Long day?”

Cas nods. “Just the beginning of a week from hell, that’s all.” 

Dean chuckles. He remembers the hell college can bring. He gives Cas another lazy kiss on the back of the neck. “Anything I can do to make it a little less hellish?” 

Dean can’t see his face, but he knows Cas’s face just turned the deepest shade of red. He’s not getting the confident Castiel today. Dean takes advantage of this knowledge and grinds his hips slowly, teasingly against Cas. Cas groans. “Dean... I shouldn’t--I mean... I have too much to do.” 

Dean kisses the crook of Cas’s neck, his weak spot. “Come on, sugar, that can wait till the mornin.” Cas sighs and turns in Dean’s arms to give him a hungry kiss on the mouth. Dean smiles into the kiss and deepens it. Then, he hoists Cas up into his arms and carries him to his--no,  _ their  _ bedroom. He drops him on the bed, and Cas looks up at him with lustful eyes and starts shedding his clothes. Dean quickly does the same, and before he joins him on the bed, he grabs a condom and lube from the nightstand. Once Dean’s on the bed, Cas pulls him down for another kiss. They end up kissing for a long time, their tongues dancing together in perfect harmony. When Cas breaks the kiss, panting, he smiles at Dean and shakes his head. 

“I love that... Kissing you... it’s almost as good as actual sex.” Dean laughs. 

“Right back at you.” Dean leans back down and kisses him again, but he doesn’t stay with his mouth for long. Lazily, he trails his lips down the younger man’s jawline, down his neck, across his collarbone, and finally, down his chest. Cas gasps when Dean reaches his hips. He gently pushes Cas’s legs back so that he can get to what he really wants. Cas complies more-than-willingly, knowing what’s coming next. Dean licks a quick stripe across Cas’s hole, and he shivers. Dean loves this, making Cas tremble with want, need, pleasure. It drives him insane. He dives in with his tongue, using it as a substitute for his cock. He adds a finger, and Cas nearly screams when Dean finds his prostate. Dean smiles against his ass because  _ damn _ , does he love that sound. Dean keeps working Cas open until he’s begging--incomprehensibly--for Dean to fuck him. 

“Dean-- _ fuck _ \--please, Dean... just... just get on with it.”

Dean chuckles as he pulls away. He rolls the condom on, lubes himself up, and then pushes himself into Cas’s tight hole. Both of them groan as Dean slides slowly inside. Once he’s in all the way, Dean gives Cas some time to adjust before he starts moving. Cas, ever the impatient one, starts thrusting shallowly against Dean. Then, he huffs out, “Come on, Dean I can’t do all the work here.”

_ Sassy tonight, are we? _ Dean grins mischieviously as he pulls out nearly all the way and slams back in. Cas closes his eyes and moans a deep, throaty moan. Dean swirls his hips before pulling out again and slamming back in. They both moan this time, the friction is just perfect at this angle. Dean keeps up with his slow, but rough, pace. Sometimes he likes to take it slower, it makes Cas antsy. And, sure enough, Cas starts thrusting back up in time with Dean, hoping he’ll go faster. But, it isn’t until Cas reaches around and grips Dean’s ass that Dean gives in. Because, really, who could say no to that? Dean picks up his pace, and Cas gasps loudly. “Oh, fuck, Dean,  _ yes _ ,  _ yes _ !” Dean smiles and keeps up his pace, panting and groaning from the pleasure. It isn’t long until Dean’s thrusts start becoming erratic. Cas grips his ass again, pulling him deeper with every thrust, and Dean knows he can’t take it much longer. He looks down at Cas, and upon meeting his eyes, he knows he can’t either. “Shit, Dean, I love you so much.” Dean gives one last final thrust, and they both come at the same time. 

Afterwards, Dean presses lazy kisses against Cas’s neck and collarbone. “I love you too, Cas.” Then, he lays down next to Cas, disposes of the condom, cleans Cas up, and pulls Cas into him. Together, the fall into a gentle sleep with smiles on their faces. 

Like this, Dean was happy. He may have lost his job, lost some credibility, gotten some bad media attention, but he was happy. He did it all with no regrets, and he would do it all again. As long as it always came back to this. To him and Cas. Because at some point, that was all he cared about. At some point, this became what mattered most to him. He loves Cas, and Cas loves him, and for now, that is all that matters. 

The end.

  
**THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I cannot say that enough! For those of you who have been here since the beginning, thank you for sticking with me! For those of you who joined us some time along the way, thanks for giving this a chance! And, for all of you, for all my readers, thank you for reading! Thank you for taking this little journey with me! If it wasn’t for you, there wouldn’t be 28 chapters of this thing, and it certainly wouldn’t be complete! I’m only active on Archive, and I’ll be working on my other fics now. I’m not sure which one will be my main one yet, but if you like my writing and want to see what else I have, please check out my other stuff! If you want to follow me on Tumblr or Instagram, I’m @thesherlockianwhojustcant for both (I’m more active on Insta). And, I’m always open for DMs, so if you want to ask me a question about ANYTHING, please don’t hesitate to ask! I love talking to my readers. Thanks, again, loves, hope you’ve enjoyed this crazy ride!!! XD**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Until next time, guys! xoxoxo
> 
> ~thesherlockianwhojustcant


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